[Open Eyes]

I am going to deal with something tomorrow that is going to be extremely difficult for me. I have not shared lately because quite frankly it's been just too overwhelming for me to do so.

I am asking members to say a prayer for me that I will do ok tomorrow and keep the ptsd in check because I have to keep it in check.

I have been dealing with so much dysfunction, abusive dysfunction that it's been overwhelming and making my ptsd even worse. I have done nothing wrong and have been accused of doing things I never did, it's blindsided me tbh.

Say prayers that the day will work out for me and go in a positive direction for me PLEASE!!!

[MickeyCheeky]

I'll keep You And your Loved Ones in my Thoughts and Prayers, @Open Eyes. You have done so much for everyone here and this is the elast I can do! WISHING YOU THE BEST OF LUCK! YOU'RE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS! Let us know how it goes!

[Skeezyks]

Best wishes for a successful outcome tomorrow.

Sending you good wishes and warm thoughts

[Mendingmysoul]

Praying for you.

[TrailRunner14]

I am praying for clarity and peace for your mind, body and spirit. I pray for courage and bravery to speak truth as it needs to be spoken and peace and confidence to cover your words.

I will be holding you in my thoughts tomorrow and praying these words for you.

[TunedOut]

Said a prayer for you Open Eyes and sending postive vibrations your way.

You have been dealing with and reflecting on your PTSD and all the dysfunction you have been caught up in for a long time. You are more prepared than you realize. You will break free of this (if not literally then you will get to the point you can detach and leave the worst of this all behind). You are nervous because you are ready for battle. The time has come. You are prepared because you are a good person and deserve the best life has to offer. I believe in karma. Not saying I am talking about revenge only that you are ready to do what must be done to stand up for yourself and then move on. You don't deserve the crap you have been dealing with. Once you leave it, it will make room for better things in your life. You deserve good things. You are a wonderful person who has helped me and many others so much. Good luck, prayers, etc.

[Fuzzybear]

Praying

[Open Eyes]

OMG, it was a hard day. My lawyer negotiated the list of things we both wanted. Actually, my older brother did not want anything even though he got all the things on his list. He told me he just wanted to help ME as he knows how really mean my sister can be. My brother turned out to be a beautiful soul despite all the abuse he suffered as a child that I had to witness that traumatized me constantly.

One of the things I wanted was to be able to finally go into my parent's home, that was my home and still had some of my things there. Well, my sister insisted on having a police officer there, can you imagine? She stopped me in the doorway and told me not bring my handbag in. Like I was going to steal something? No, that is what SHE chooses to do herself. She stold thousands of dollars from my parents. She took a lot of money from my mother and went to the bank and withdrew a lot of cash withdrawls and started doing that as soon as she got POA and made it a point to have my mother's bank account made into a joint bank account. What the kicker is she did not want to present an accounting except for the last year of my parent's lives. The judge said "no, I want and accounting from when you got the POA in March of 2012. So when she presented that accounting she HAD to show all those cash withdrawls and she decided to say I took that money CAN YOU IMAGINE? I did not even know what bank my mother's money was in until I saw that listed in the accounting. I never even know there was a bank/debit card either and there is NO WAY I went in and took my mother to the bank all those times. Not only that, but my sister's daughter had my mother's Discover card and was charging things for herself on it. Who spends $575. on makeup? What is it gold makeup? She never even provided the bills for the Discover card.

So after I got to keep my handbag I went into my parents house. I just wanted to have time alone to sit and GRIEVE. My sister as in the case when both my parents were dying INVADED THAT. My older brother KNEW what I wanted, he knew I wanted my time alone to sit and grieve. He ended up going outside and telling the police office my sister hired to be there to please keep my sister from invading me. She still needed to invade and I ended up getting very badly triggered to the point where I was crying and shaking, full of that little child part of me. Please keep in mind how much power a four year old has over a mere infant. And that four year old HATES the attention this infant is getting. I have had flashbacks, they were horrible yet it's not like I can talk about what is happening because I am so very little. I can't even believe I experience this challenge, that she can trigger this to happen in me.

My brother was AMAZING, he stepped in and hugged me and calmed me down.

It was so hard because my sister was rushing me to go around and put my stickers on things. I was overwhelmed with how she had all their things on tables. So many things that I never even thought of. I am very respectful so I knew my parents had things, but they were THEIR THINGS and I never intruded. I never went through their drawers or things, never went in my mother's pocketbook.

I found my wedding dress and my mother was SO thoughtful and respectful and had gotten one of those clear plastic hanging bags and she put everything nicely in it. I just cried and her clothes were there and I just put my face in them and cried. I was very close with my mother, we were buddies and loved each other.

My sister kept appearing and hovering, she is SO DAMN COLD. She always has to be SUPERIOR and is obsessively controlling.

I am exhausted, it was very overwhelming and I tried to sleep but I can't sleep and I have the chills. It was traumatizing for me to experience that very negative human being when I just wanted my own time to privately grieve. She consistently invades that.

It's so upsetting, so hard. Yet, I will say that I am so proud of my older brother, he was kind WARM loving and respectful and he definitely noticed how mean, controlling, condescending, cold, bossy my sister is today. Truth is, everyone noticed it, even the judge and my lawyer definitely sees it.

I will have to face this again when I go back to get the things I taged, and I am sure she will once again make sure the police is there. Ironically, even the police officer could see what a mean jerk she is.

[TrailRunner14]

I’m so sorry you are having to go through this!! I’m so thankful for your brothers presence and his comfort and love for you.

Material things and control possess people and they become controlling and very selfish and abusive.

I pray that you find comfort tonight in the memory of the care your mom took in packaging your wedding dress and the comfort of her clothes. I hope that that that overshadows the very selfishness and control of your sister.

You were brave and again, I am so thankful for the comfort you were able to experience, in that very hard place, from your brother.

I am praying for you now for peace and calmness and rest.

Trail.

ETA: I wanted to add that the validation of the other people there, of your sisters behavior and actions, would be a comfort to me. When someone else’s behavior is acknowledged by someone else, it calms me in some way. It feels like it can settle and be real to me and then I can deal with the emotions of it.

I just wanted to add that as a comfort for you if you have dealt with it in that way.

[TrailRunner14]

Sorry! Duplicate post.

[CANDC]

Open Eyes I genuinely sorry to hear how much you had to go through. You are amazing just like your brother because somehow you held it together.

It sounds like the judge will work things out. You have memories that no one can take from you. Hoping you find a way to cope with all this without getting too stressed out.

[Open Eyes]

Thank you so much for all your prayers and comforting thoughts, it means the world to me.

I think my husband was also glad my brother flew up to be with me. My husband has witnessed my sister come after me in one of her rages and he tends to "freeze" so I am sure he was glad my brother was there too.

I have to think about how I am going to go back there to get the items I tagged now. I know she will again have the police there and try to find some way to see if she can get me to react so she can play her victim role, she is ALL about drama try to bait to get a reaction. I think a lot of members here would be impressed by how strong I have been at times where she behaved so badly trying to bait me. She fails to realize that all she does is show people how crazy she is.

PC actually helped me in a way I never imagined too. She accused me of driving there and taking my mother to the bank for all these withdrawls? Well, I could not have done that and been home on my computer posting and PMing here at PC. I was here helping and supporting people while she was stealing from my mother. Ugh...how awful is that? It was SO TRIGGERING to suddenly be blindsided by someone accusing you of something you never did or would even think to do.

I was so tired from experiencing her today, I tried to lay down and sleep but I kept seeing her mean face. I hope I don't have nightmares tonight. I am so tired, I need to sleep.

[Open Eyes]

My asking for prayers was all about just finding a way through the hearing yesterday. I honestly did not know how that was going to go at all.

I was not at all prepared for that turning into also going to my parents home, going there in a hurry up quick way. I was not prepared to suddenly drive there and see a police officer there and having to deal with my cold controlling sister who stopped me at the door insisting I not bring my purse in with me. I was not prepared to enter my parent's home only to see how disturbed it was, how my sister had changed things around and had so many of their things on tables, things I had not seen in so many years. I was not prepared for my sister's invading cold presence when I JUST wanted to have time alone to sit in my parent's home and quietly and privately grieve. I was not prepared to experience her coming into my space with these colored sticker peel and stick circles and to be told I had only 90 minutes to walk around and put stickers ONLY on the things on my list. I was not MENTALLY prepared for any of what I experienced yesterday. Actually, yesterday was like entering a strange spook house on a rollor coaster in the dark not having any idea what is going to pop up next. I now wish I had taken pictures so I could post them so anyone reading could be able to see all I had to see in that big old house. I was not prepared to see how my sister had been busy going into everything and putting it all out on tables like she did.

When I had to come up with a list of things I wanted, I had to do that by sitting down and trying to do a virtual tour in my head. When I did that all I pictured in my mind was my parent's home the way they kept it, so many things were put away and so many things I had not really paid attention to, certainly not with the idea of picking items out that I might want. I had pictured walking in "finally" and sitting in all that is left of my parents because there are not graves and my sister already spread their ashes.

I was not ready to deal with seeing my sister's old mean face coming at me, she looked HORRIBLE, worse than the wicked witch of the west in the wizard of oz. I was not ready to go upstairs and see how the wall paper was coming off the wall in a corner and in that same corner the canvas that was on the ceiling was coming down. Last time I saw that very room everything looked GREAT and neat and clean. I was not ready to see all my mother's things on the bureaus and bed, and the styrophone heads here and there with her wigs on them. My mother had wigs so she did not have to fuss with her hair all the time, not such a bad idea actually. But this was SO cold and impersonal what I saw. If it were me? I would not have her wigs about like that, no one is going to buy someone's old wigs that they wore. I walked around and noticed her dressing room just FULL of her shoes. I don't KNOW where all her jewelry was. I honestly can't even remember when I was on that second floor as when I visited them I just pretty much sat with them, went to see them and did not wander around in their house. I always respected my mother's privacy, never went through her things so it was SO SHOCKING for me to see all her things everywhere the way my sister had it all.

Truth is, what I experienced yesterday traumatized me. I was NOT mentally prepared for anything I experienced yesterday. Truth is, I was not mentally prepared for ALL of the toxic I faced the last years of my parent's lives. I am SO MENTALLY LOST right now, shock, crying, deeply depressed, angry, shocked, tired and getting constant flashes of my sister's horrible angry mean cold face. It's like a creepy horror movie I have been living in. Yet, also VERY SAD too.

I was not MENTALLY PREPARED for yesterday AT ALL or any of what I experienced these past few years. And my sister taking all that money and seeing that accounting of all those withdrawls with my name next to them that I never did. Wow, I was not mentally prepared for all of this VERY TWISTED and CRAZYNESS. A living nightmare I never imagined experiencing in my life. I already was struggling with PTSD, and trying so hard to heal. But my GOD, this has all been sureal and awful. I was not mentally prepared for ANY OF IT, and certainly not yesterday at all.

[TunedOut]

Open Eyes,

I am sorry. It sounds like you are still in the middle of an extreme battle. I am sorry she is so traumatizing. What she has done sounds downright evil.

Eventually, the estate will be settled. Eventually, you will heal from this. I am sorry that I did not recognize that you are still in the middle of the storm. It will not last forever! This terrible chapter of your life will eventually come to an end. People such as your brother will know you and your sister's true character via how you both have treated others. You will have allies such as your brother when it is all over. Your sister might find herself more alone. She just isn't as sympathetic and loving as you are. She has made ill gotten material gains from this but you still have people who love, respect, and admire you. I would rather have the latter than the stolen things. You can respect yourself. I wonder how she feels about herself inside. This is not your problem. She has lost you because of her actions! What a huge, huge loss. It will end and then you can just stay away from her from then on!

[88Butterfly88]

Praying for you. Sorry to hear you have to deal with this.

[Open Eyes]

What I dealt and had been dealing with that is SO TOXIC is my sister insisting "YOU BE A CODEPENDENT OR ELSE YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!!".

My older brother really tried to help me get what I needed and he showed me respect. My sister had a policeman there and my brother had to go out and tell this policeman that my sister needed to be stopped from harrassing me. Three times he had to go out and ask the policeman to tell her to "back off".

If my brother was not there it would have been REALLY BAD. It was bad even with him there. My husband was at a loss as usual, it was so embarrassing to have him see what he saw. My sister triggered me so badly I ended up becoming that frightened little child shaking uncontrollably. I did not want to have that happen, but she would not leave me alone. My sister takes all her anger out on me, she did that when I was so little too, before I had any ability to understand or even defend myself.

My sister doesn't know how to play nice, she always had to have all the control or else she would not play with you. How is a baby to understand that? She is four years older, that is a huge age difference when it comes to children all through their childhood.

[Open Eyes]

I am posting this here in the Sanctuary for Spiritual Support because I have prayed so much, felt so lost. Yet, it could be posted in PTSD forum, Victims of Abuse Forum, CEN forum, or the thread I have in a more private forum or the Grief and Loss forum or even the relationship forum as well as the forum for children of alcoholics yet that disease/problem has been in my life ALL of my life because my husband is a binge alcoholic who has been sober for 28 years, but he still exhibits issues and he is constantly all about that disease and pretty much goes to meetings every night. I have been LONELY and he recently said "we don't have a partnership" and I feel like what he needs is a wife with the same problem that can do all these meetings with him. I tried to go but I would get triggered because the room was filled with people that have a problem that affected ME my entire life.

I put so much effort into creating something healing and positive. I was not mentally prepared to stand there and watch it all destroyed and then when it broke me down be treated like what I valued and cared about did not deserve to be valued. I was overwhelmed with grief, exhausted mentally and physically and next thing I knew I was in a psych ward locked up with individuals that were so mentally ill they frightened me. They thrust drugs at me, and my sister came in and was SO COLD and would not let my parents come see me. It's now the anniversary of that because I was in there for 10 days not knowing how long I would be forced to stay there and had to sit at a table on Thanksgiving with all these strangers and no one came to see me or called me and instead I was treated like I was a bad person for breaking.

The way my parents set up their Will and Trust, that was set up when my mother was not capable of really understanding it and my father was mentally declining gave my sister way too much power. Just to stand up to her means it costs ME, takes anything I may get when it's finally settled. My sister has been a very busy bee organizing EVERYTHING in a way that give her all the power and control and she even set up what I experienced on Thursday, all meant to intimidate and punish me for saying "no to her insistence I be her codependent". It's BEYOND me in how manipulative and evil and toxic she sets things up, totally beyond me and nothing I could ever think to do or engage in doing, just not in my wheelhouse.

[Open Eyes]

What I noticed when I visited my parent's home once I walked around was "things were missing". They had an old "original" oil painting that hung on the wall in their living room, "missing" because my sister made it a point BEFORE she agreed to things we had on our lists and to allow us in our parents home was to first have an appraiser walk through and find anything of value. There was a motor my brother wanted and could not find, missing because it had value. I noticed my mother's toys she kept on the top shelf of the built in shelves was "missing" because they had value. I noticed the painting my father had in his office of a tug boat was "missing" and it was on my list but it was missing because it had value. My sister basically took all my mother's money as I mentioned, even the money my mother had in investments, that is the money she blamed me for taking when I did not even know how much money my mother had or what bank my mother's money was even in. As I mentioned, it was VERY overwhelming how my sister had all my parent's things out on tables. How COLD and CALCULATING it all was. I never even thought to take pictures when I went to visit my parents before they declined so much my sister moved them to her house. My sister was taking money as soon as she could back in 2012. And yet my sister treated ME like the criminal not even wanting me to bring my handbag in with me.

I don't know HOW she can live with herself, she is an evil beast, AKA the Devil. Honestly, I have never been able to think that dark, so it really takes me back by the fact that my sister does think this dark. She is an or has turned into an UGLY human being.

I posted this here because I need prayers/help finding my way past these awful realities. My sister is a very twisted creepy human being.

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I don't know HOW she can live with herself, she is an evil beast, AKA the Devil. Honestly, I have never been able to think that dark, so it really takes me back by the fact that my sister does think this dark. She is an or has turned into an UGLY human being.

I posted this here because I need prayers/help finding my way past these awful realities. My sister is a very twisted creepy human being.

I said a prayer for you Open Eyes and will keep praying for you. Greed rather than love is controlling your sister's heart. Though I know it breaks your heart not to have some of those momentos , living a loving life is more valuable than anything we accumulate. Once this is over, you won't have to deal with her anymore. When you get to the other side of this, you will emerge stronger. Keep up the faith Open Eyes! Your life won't stay dark forever.

[Open Eyes]

Thanks TunedOut for offering me some hope. I am so grief stricken and depressed right now and deeply disturbed by how badly my sister behaved this past Thursday that I am emotionally exhausted. My sister has been so dark and devious and demented that I am still struggling to process it all.

[Open Eyes]

I have been having a hard time I keep seeing flashes of my sister's horrible mean face. When I saw the accounting the judge insisted she provide and all the cash withdrawls where she was taking so much money and blamed me for? I think about how I met my brother at my parents and their home stunk to high heaven and their refrigerator stunk SO BAD and when I opened it everything in it was moldy and bad. My father's teeth looked bad, all black at the gum line and when my brother and I tried to pitch in to take him to the dentist my sister found out and stopped us. My sister insisted only SHE can care for his health needs and she refused to address his teeth and there was no money ALL THE WHILE taking all this money. My father finally collapsed with pneumonia and I was banned from visiting him or talking to the doctors. I did plead with the nurse to PLEASE tell the doctor to look at my father's teeth. Bad teeth can weaken an elderly person and make them much more susceptible to getting pneumonia, it's a fact. It was SO HARD to see how much money she took and accused me of taking when there was no way I could have done that.

When I saw all my parents belongings, and things missing? Ugh....she is again stealing anything she finds of value. And yet she stops me at the door insisting I not bring my handbag in? She coerced my parents into setting up their Will and Trust that gave her literally all the power over them and their money. I could never do any of this, it's horrifying. And my effort to fight back comes out of whatever is left that would go to me and my older brother while SHE continues to take from whatever is left.

I don't know what you call this kind of person, a person who can be so manipulative and cold and calculating and mean, so damn mean.

I just feel sick and I get these flashes and struggle to believe and process it all. I think I am still in shock. I get these chills and pain and I just want to crawl up in a ball under the covers with the heat blowing on me.

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

...Ugh....she is again stealing anything she finds of value. And yet she stops me at the door insisting I not bring my handbag in? She coerced my parents into setting up their Will and Trust that gave her literally all the power over them and their money. I could never do any of this, it's horrifying. And my effort to fight back comes out of whatever is left that would go to me and my older brother while SHE continues to take from whatever is left....
I just feel sick and I get these flashes and struggle to believe and process it all. I think I am still in shock. I get these chills and pain and I just want to crawl up in a ball under the covers with the heat blowing on me

I think people tend to accuse others of the things that they themselves are guilty of. IMO people who obtain wealth at the expense of others will not enjoy it in the same way that people do who come about it honestly. Do you and your brother think it is worth it to continue to fight? I wonder what the feelings of sickness and flashes are telling you? I will keep praying for you. One of the things I am praying for is that you find things to do that give you joy and peace.

[Open Eyes]

My very challenged area mentally and emotionally is and always has been getting deeply upset when a person or animal I care about and respect is being hurt or abused. I really struggled to understand how anyone could gain pleasure by hurting another human being or animal. I simply don't possess whatever it is in the brain that gains pleasure and sense of empowerment by hurting and breaking another person or animal down into some kind of helpless submission. I never really embraced this theme of "superior" either. I think people waste too much effort and time on striving for some kind of "superior" status. When people engage in abusing, cheating, shunning, neglecting, manipulating, controlling and lying and using they get further and further from being any kind of "superior". I do not see anything superior in putting another person down in order to feel some kind of "superior". I think a lot of people genuinely have little to no understanding of how to "respect" other people and animals.

I find it much more rewarding to discover what is a positive in another person and help that person see it themselves and have them walk away feeling empowered than to have another person walk away feeling bad or defeated and weak or hurt or powerless.

One of my favorite movies was the Animated one called Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. And the reason I loved it was because of how it conveyed how each character deserved to be respected for whatever they had that was different about them instead of having to be the same as everyone else. I find that human beings embrace the "you are not good enough" mentality too easily to the point where it's cruel and disrespectful and down right abusive.

Recently I saw a lot of clips where individuals who constantly practice hating Trump decided to point out all the words he mis-spelled. Yet, for someone like me who has literally spent YEARS trying to help both my husband and my child TRY to spell despite their challenge with dyslexia that genuinely creates a challenge for them when it comes to being able to spell, I find it more offensive and thoughtless to pick on something that is a challenge to MANY human beings. Suddenly it's ok if you are attacking someone you don't like though right? Yet, in using that example suddenly a lot of individuals will be turned off to me thinking I support him in some way, when that's not my point at all.

People are always responding to me with statements of "it doesn't matter why OE, you focus too much on the why instead of ignoring etc.". I ALWAYS wanted to know "why" when it came to observing people behave badly or different. Thank GOD I am not the only one like that and other people made it a point to understand the "why" and their research ended up explaining something crucial to what I needed to understand so I could help my dyslexic child learn and grow despite her dyslexia. I had grown up seeing the alternative where I witnessed my older brother constantly punished and abused and regarded as a bad child when instead he needed help and guidance so he could overcome his learning disabilities. Truth is, he was far from stupid, he just learned differently. Because people wanted to know the "why" when it came to the challenges dyslexia presents, I learned that my own child actually had a very high IQ, it's just that she learned differently. Once that is RESPECTED and the child gets the right help, they can be extremely productive. However, the one thing that did challenge my child was the stigma she faced. "You have that thing wrong with you so we don't want to play with you". It's terrible how so many people embrace being that way towards others.

I honestly think people can be dumb. I think this entire racism thing is dumb. When someone's skin color is darker all it means is they come from an area where they developed this skin color in order to handle the environment they come from. It means their skin evolved a way to help the person be better protected from how strong the sun is in that environment, darker to prevent the person from getting too much Vitamin D and to also help them from suffering from sun burn. When someone is very fair skinned, it's simply how over time their bodies changed due to the environment where there was less sun and their skin needed to be lighter so they could absorb more vitamin D. Yet, people with white skin are always trying to darken their skin and people with dark skin try to lighten their skin color. People can be mean and toxic no matter what skin color they happen to have. Yet, after all this time and having answers to some important "whys", people still embrace "stigmatizing".

What IS perfect? There is NO perfect human being, never was and never will be. Someone graduates "best in class", does that really mean that person is THE BEST? I don't see it that way AT ALL. Maybe they happened to do well at reading and writing and tests. Yet, what about the person who has dyslexia that learned to excel despite that challenge? Who is better really? Is one more entitled than the other? Well, that is what was taught in my generation. Well, one of the things I have noticed in my life is a tremendous lack of ability to respect. It definitely hit me hard, contributed to my having a hard time feeling "safe" in my life. I did survive living through a lot of dysfunction and trauma before I even had the capacity to understand what that meant.

I remember just being grateful that I survived the day, I remember feeling that way throughout my entire childhood. Yet, one thing I never expected was how all that history made me very susceptible to developing this condition that I suffer from called "ptsd". This condition has forced me to see things about myself that I felt at times but did not know why I felt these things.

One day when I went to visit my mother, when it was too late for me to change what was to come that would get more and more toxic for me, she looked at me and said, "You have to be careful OE, your sister is VERY jealous of you and wants to hurt you". I was really taken back by that and I said, "Oh, no mother, that's not true". She said, "Oh yes it is and she has been jealous of you since you were very little too". When she said that I felt devastated to be honest. I said to her, "What does she have to be jealous of about ME?" And thats when she said, "OE, you have always been sweet and kind and caring and friendly and good natured with people and your sister could never be that way". I was stunned because I had always felt my sister was prettier than me and even smarter than me and I never even thought someone could be jealous of someone who is friendly and nice like that. I wanted to love her and was nice to her and that turned out to be the very thing about me she hated and was jealous of.

She sent such a mean text at one point in all this mess when she was being so mean to me. She said "I have been waiting FOR YEARS". A shock went through me going all the way back to when I was just so little and I realized she hated and was jealous of me even then. I did not know what it was, but I felt it. My sister has chosen to hurt me in ways I could not imagine, there is nothing I have in me that I would EVER choose to do the things she has chosen to do. The amount of effort my sister has put into practicing things hoping for me to react so she could say I am a bad person is just unbelievable. The way she insisted on invading me and preventing me from even having time alone with my dying parents to express my love and say goodbye was unbelievably cold and hate filled. It's totally beyond me how anyone can gain any gratification from how toxic and mean she has been. My parents gradual decline was more of an opportunity for her to profit from whatever they had. She even said how she wanted to take the money from the sale of their second home and put it in her name so she could pay others to care for them. When she said that she was hard and COLD.

I watched both my parents FEAR her, fear her like two helpless children. My sister wanted to make the judge and lawyers think it was me that took all the money SHE took herself. She did the same thing with my parents who began to question the control she was given in their Will too. My sister manipulated both my parents to think I stold from them and what I noticed in the accounting was SHE was already taking from them at the time.

I just can't think that dark and cold and calculating. One of the things I had wanted was to be able to visit my parent's home and sit and grieve them. As I mentioned, there are no graves, nothing left of them but their home and I felt loved and welcomed there and there things in that home that were me like the paintings I did that they hung on their walls and enjoyed. I did get inside, my heart ached to have that, it was important to me, very important. Yet, she made it UGLY and it would have been even worse had my older brother not been there. I ended up going into a full on flashback of being that very terrified child inside of me. I was shaking so bad and my entire body hurt. What kind of person would enjoy causing someone to experience that? I don't even know how my body survived that one, it was horrible. The one thing that helped was that my older brother came rushing up from the basement and he was warm and kind and it helped me come out of it. As I mentioned, my brother had to go outside and ask the police officers three times to tell my sister to stop harassing me.

I don't know, maybe that very frightened child part of me needed to have that happen to make up for not having that happen when I was so little. One thing I do know is that my entire body is sore from experiencing that. Like being electrocuted. Perhaps, that is why I tried to be a comforting presence for others in my life, why I respected their "need for comfort" so much. My sister set it all up for "drama" to upset me and intimidate me and that's not anything I would or could ever think to do. All she did was show how horrible she can be in front of everyone that was there including the police officers.

I have tried to share how bad she can be, I have gotten replies of "just ignore, don't give her power, don't allow etc." I have even had someone say "she would not bother me" yet I have seen how she has caused others to be disturbed. I have met some nasty people in my life, but she is the worst. I have seen nurses and staff and all kinds of people, including the nice woman who bought the house next door to my parents that they owned, express "your sister is one mean person" to me and I noticed they all have shiver when they say that about her recalling their encounter with her, yes she is a scary person.

[TunedOut]

I am sorry about all you have been through Open Eyes. I just said a prayer for you.

I believe we were placed in our family of origin for a reason. I believe that we are challenged to help us grow.

In my case, I think I had to go through a dark period in order to be humbled and learn to trust more in the divine.

Once this sad chapter of your life is over, you will go on to better things. Your parents spirits will be there to watch over you. Try not be afraid. Your kindness in this life means that good karma is on your side. I truly believe the angels see and will watch over you.

Abraham Hicks - How To Soothe Yourself In A Time Of Stress