[Eleora]

I've never been religious even though my mom is Roman Catholic. My dad's side of the family is Russian Orthodox which is a weird combination of religions. I used to think I was an atheist but then decided I thought there were possibilities so I consider myself agnostic.

Since my grandfather has died I have felt really confused. It made me really sad to think I would never see him again (since I don't believe in heaven). It's made me want to be religious but I just can't do it (sounds silly).

Even with that I have found myself thinking "Can he see me doing this?" when I do stupid stuff (like drink).

In addition to that, I had somebody recently tell me I'm going to go to hell if I don't find God. It really upset me, not only because of the way the phrase was said and the wording of it, but because it really had me thinking about what if I do go to hell?

I just don't know what to think or do right now. Does anyone have advice?

[nowheretorun]

hi girlbassplayer....

God is the only authority in my view, but i will try to share what i think (uh oh) ..

we each might feel a certain 'calling' of spirit.. it may come in many 'guises' and imo, depends alot on the environment in which you were raised and also currently find yourself...

as i understand it, God hears all pleas for help, well... as i understand it, God hears all, and even hears the 'unheard'...

ask, and you shall be answered....

saying a silent prayer for you to find your way.. God is with you always imho

edited to correct spelling

[Rapunzel]

If you find or hear something that gives you comfort or feels good to you, you might just do a little more research about it and see how you feel when you learn a little more about it. You could ask people about beliefs that you would like to know more about. And just see how you feel. When you find something that appeals to you, pray and ask God about it. If you open your heart to Him, you will get answers.

[Rhapsody]

STOP & LISTEN and He will come to YOU.

[bebop]

if you are feeling this way...in my most humble opinion He is dealing with your heart. feel free to pm me if you would like as I don't feel right discussing it openly here right now. there are other christians here that will try our best to answer questions for you. (((hugs)))

[Eleora]

I've researched into many different religions and none appeal to me. Even if parts of it do appeal to me, I just can't fully commit. I don't think there is any higher being, I'm just not ruling the possibility out. I wrote in one of my articles that, "I'd feel pretty stupid if I went through life believing that God doesn't exist only to then find out I have front row seats in Hell when I die."

I actually felt bad for thinking I should be religious just in the hopes of reuniting with a dead family member. In my mind, that isn't the right reason to commit to any religion. I'm a big believer that there is a right and wrong way to go about things.

When I went to my uncle's funeral a few years back, they held communion and I was the only person there who refused to take part. I was basically treated like trash after that but I felt it was wrong for me to take part in that religious ceremony when I don't believe in it. I didn't think it was proper for me to almost "mock" the religious act by doing it. I had a teacher later tell me that that was the appropriate way to react (he was Catholic) but at the time my family and even the Priest gave me a dirty look.

This is just my babblings. I'm just very confused about everything right now.

[coralproper]

It is ok to be confused, to me it shows you have a strong independent mind, and prefer to be a pragmatist, (IMO) which is what I consider myself, a " confused pragmatist ".

For those that my not know the definition of pragmatic:> Testing the validity of " ALL " concepts by their practical results.

Just keep searching and testing, when you get tier'd and need to take a break to unwind, and gain some support , you know where to go

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
girlbassplayer: Since my grandfather has died I have felt really confused. It made me really sad to think I would never see him again (since I don't believe in heaven). It's made me want to be religious but I just can't do it (sounds silly).

Even with that I have found myself thinking "Can he see me doing this?" when I do stupid stuff (like drink).

Years ago when my grandmother died I recall going through a similar process, including wondering if my grandmother could "see" me doing things considered "bad" or "sinful". I think it's natural to question and wonder what becomes of our loved ones when they die, to ask ourselves Where do they go?, and thus, where will we go when we too pass out of this world? Our understanding of Death shapes our understanding of Life for they are opposite faces on the same coin.

To answer these questions we turn to spiritual, religious, philosophical or scientific resources and we can get confused at that point because there are so many different perceptions out there. The troubling thing is, the questions we have can't truly be answered until we die ourselves -- anything else is only opinion, even if it's well informed opinion. And even when we do die, we still may not know the answer if we no longer possess a sense of consciousness to reflect the answer. But searching for those answers will shape our belief systems and personal values, and thus, the way we respond to the events of our lives.

I have found myself intimately grappling with these questions each time I have faced death in whatever form it presents itself. In my quest to understand death I have been to some far-flung places and I still don't have all my answers but I have some personal beliefs that offer me meaning and sustenance. I suspect that this is how we prepare ourselves for our own deaths and learn to come to peace with it.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
On Death

Than Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the sheered not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

Source: The Prophet - Kahil Gibran


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[bebop]

you were right in that you did not take part in the communion if you did not believe in the ceremony. you know hon you should not feel guilty about wanting to see a loved one. whatever it takes in my opinion to get you there is good enough. but one must remember to live that life once you give your heart to God. It seems your heart is heading in that direction and if I can help in any way please feel free to pm me. it is difficult to make that decision at times especially when you are young.

[stig]

My belief about God is that "it" is understanding of all perspectives all motives and all decisions. Therefore if it works for you to believe and live as you do, then I believe God understands your decisions the same way you feel and experience them, as well as how those around you might or might not perceive you. I guess the long and short of that is that if it works for you and isn't harming those in your life, then God feels about it the same way you would if you were judging yourself.

[recluse1]

May you find the answers you seek and find peace in your heart.

One place to start is by asking yourself what you DO believe to be true and WHY. Then move the process of searching from there.

Like, do you believe we have a soul? If so, what do you think happens to that soul when the body dies?

There are many ways to perceive God. Many religious and spiritual avenues to explore. It is upto you to decide, no one can decide for you. It's called freewill and we all have it.
feel free to pm me anytime. I would be more than happy to help however I can.

recluse1

[(JD)]

Spirituality means knowing one's self, having a sense of purpose in life, feeling connected to others, and achieving one's full potential. For some, this means tapping into the wisdom within. For others, spirituality is grounded in experiencing nature. Spirituality is being inspired, focusing on sensory experiences, finding beauty and joy in everyday things, cherishing life, and feeling the interconnectedness of the universe.

Spirituality can help restore a sense of calm and balance when the daily grind may seem overwhelming.

I, personally, go to and through God for my spirituality.

PM me anytime, and I'll gladly share how to.

[Eleora]

My dad is a very strange man. I need to say this for everyone to understand my confusion. He basically believes we are aliens, long story short. I've always believed very heavily in evolution and he says it's all false, that we're aliens. My grandparents were never very happy with him since they were fairly strict when it come to their religion.

Meanwhile, my mom is Roman Catholic. If two people could be more different I would be surprised. My understanding is that my dad never shared any of these alien-related beliefs prior to being married, and mom thought she was marrying an Eastern orthodox man. I don't know if it would have mattered but most people need an explanation as to how they ended up married.

Then there is me. I believe we are made up of energy, and that that energy does have to go somewhere. From there, I do not know. I want to believe we are reincarnated, that we get another chance at things, and then another. I just don't know how that would work? I have inklings in my mind of how I would like things to be, but I don't know what I think things are.

When I watched my grandfather die, I couldn't understand. It conflicted with my belief that there is no after life, in heaven or otherwise. When I watched it I wondered where his mind went. Where his principles, paradigms, personality, etc went? I know it all has to do with how you're brought up and how your brain works, in my mind, but I wanted to know where his specifically went. It couldn't just die - that doesn't make sense. But then maybe I'm looking at it too personally and failing to see clearly. Would I be thinking the same things if I had watched my best friend's grandfather die?

It was really traumatizing so maybe I'm taking that trauma and making it some internal feud about whether I'm going to hell or not. I feel very irrational. I grew up in a hospital, basically, so I saw a lot of people die, children actually. However, I never saw them "packaged" for transfer. I can't believe I stayed in the room to make sure they didn't hurt him or steal his jewelry. He died at home. We waited all weekend and I got to see him literally drown in his own fluid. I stayed awake for 4 days waiting. I never cried once. I didn't cry when they took him, I didn't cry at the visitation, and I didn't cry when I did the eulogy. At the end of the eulogy I almost burst into tears but my dad grabbed me and hugged me and I kept it down. It took me two months to cry but the entire time I was trying to convince myself to be Christian so that I could have some hope of seeing him again.

I feel like I'm betraying what I know with what I want or what I think. That might be offensive but I'm just so damn confused. I'm not intending to be rude I just don't understand.

[Rapunzel]

So many people have so many ideas that seem like total contradictions, but there seems to be some evidence for most or all of them. I cling to a belief that there is some merit to all of the ideas, that they will all fit together and make sense some day when we can see the whole picture. I hope nobody is offended, as that isn't my intent. I have had a friend get very mad at me when I tried to explain how I thought that her beliefs might fit alongside mine. But it isn't necessarily that someone has to be wrong for someone else to be right. I think that we all have parts of the truth. And it can be very confusing.

What if God used evolutionary processes to create the various species that he then placed on this planet (making us aliens). And our spirits are energy (or mostly energy?), and return to Him when we die, taking with us all that we have been and have learned, and having a unique identity that we recognize as a perticular person. None of this feels like it conflicts with my beliefs (I can't speak for anybody else's), although it is speculation to questions I don't have all of the answers to.

I am sorry for your pain with your grandfather's death, and I can understand wanting to make sense of it in a way that is meaningful and that honors the person that you knew him to be. Events like this can challenge your beliefs and questioning can be part of the grieving process. I hope that you find answers that make sense to you. And no matter what you come up with, please understand that it is okay to cry and to grieve and to feel your feelings, whatever they are.

((((((((( hugs ))))))))))

Rap

[tavares7]

There's nothing wrong with not believing in a religion, but it's always good to be open minded and try to understand all different religions. I self taught my self 3 types of Christianity and practiced it but found Wicca was just what I believed.
Always be open to what other peoples beliefs are, afterall, no ones wrong
And perhaps one day you'll find something that sticks, or you'll be the next Darwin. Whatever you believe is your thing

[nowheretorun]

welcome to our peaceful sanctuary Tavares.. i wish you all good blessings on your path of spiritual connections.. may you always feel welcomed, appreciated, and validated... often when we choose alternative to mainstream belief practices we run into opposition to our own beliefs.. this is where a true test of faith and belief happens... may you walk in the strength of inner peace aways...