Roll call

Glad you are safe and sound.

Perhaps you could put up a few fliers with Tigers pic around your neighborhood?

clear and here

Here and well.

Cut back on the fish oil. My sleep is better but my arm hurts again. Gonna take cyber's advice and try taking it earlier in the day.

I am clear and my mood is above my average. It is April 17th, 2012 and Barack Obama is the President of the United States of America. I am a human being. I live in a house on Earth.

I hope everyone nicely enjoys their day.

Here and feeling sick. Something viral I think. Staying home from work.

Have done something today which either makes me a very big chicken, or very brave. Not sure which it is, but at least I didn't wishy-wash!

Here and still sick. Flu.

I am present and clear minded with mostly logical thoughts. I vary from logic occasionally, but my life is still manageable.

here and more focused and calmer.

Here and feeling better. Back at work today.

My risperdal was upped, so I haven't been hearing voices and I haven't seen the Grey Dreamer in a few days and I used to hallucinate him.

Here and still depressed as realism. I have been tired. I have better days and worse days and compared to yesterday I am a little better. I only heard a few brief voices today. Not much for hallucinations. I still can't go outside for long periods of time. I have to be moving around in unpredictable patterns so the cloned snipers won't shoot me or the satellite. When stopped at a light it is difficult and sometimes I have panic attacks because of it. At the same time I hate staying home all day because after awhile its boring even though there is much to do at home. I just can't concentrate long enough to do these things such as my art or gaming. Also I am not as interested in it because of my depression realism. I have been self injuring sometimes but not that bad. Just minor scratches with a razor blade. It does bleed though. I hope everyone is doing better now. I have busy times coming up which is good like I am going down to Oregon (I live in Washington State with cows and horses in the middle of nowhere in the year 1812) for a couple of days for a pet show. I am part of it and will sell my starving art there. I am also having an interview possibly on Sunday for this autism radio show. It was originally going to happen last month but it got moved to this Sunday. I am nervous because its during my worst hours of the day for symptoms. My symptoms start in the morning when I first get up but really get bad starting at around 2 pm and then it goes to 8 pm and the night is my most calming period of the day. I wish the interview was at 8 or 9 pm so I don't have any symptoms on the radio. I pray its not bad because sometimes during my worst times I am totally incoherent and can't even form a sentence and other times I am articulate and can speak at autism conferences and get keynote speaker qualities. With me its extremes. Either I sound like some crazy person on the street or calm, can talk fine (or write fine) and not have ANY hallucinations. I still have the "delusions" in the background at all times though but sometimes I act on it and other times I don't. I try as hard as possible to control myself to the best of my ability so I don't go to the hospital. I know both my psychiatrist and psychologist said if it gets any worse I will have to go in. Sad but true. Sorry for the long message.

Feel a lot like FireBird with some differences. It's weird. It's like I'll be hopeful that my thoughts will go away, then only 3-5 hours later I'll be crying because I feel hopeless that they won't. I don't know what's happening to me. My suicidal impulse rate has moved up a bit. Now I'm thinking about it once per day according to the records I'm keeping. It really sucks because the weather has been pretty nice lately... I don't know... I've been worse, but I've also been much better..... Eh...

Here, but severe.

Just had my first night of complete sleep in a week. Still shredded from <4 hours per night for too long.
I think that funny cat at my friend's house last night had me laughing so hard like I haven't laughed in years - must have changed something in me.

Costello, I got to watch that 7 part documentary about Rufus May and "Ruth" that you mentioned recently. It was profoundly touching and highlighted the challenges, hopes and risks people face when daring to confront the meaning experienced in psychosis. Mostly, the dignity given to the person struggling with their alienating experiences was amazing.
Thank you for sharing it.

Hope you find Tiger soon.

Peter

here and clear. My wife was admitted to the hospital yesterday. It had to do with her blood sugar level and some other symptoms that they haven't explained yet. Kinda worried...

Can't sleep!!!! So, I am just going to stay up all night. I hate when that happens!

I'm good, well except I'm ill, but a few more beechams should sort that out.

Finally have a plan for proof as well and I'm doing well in avoiding the doctor.

Here and still recovering from the flu.

Peter: Glad you liked the Rufus May program. I've watched it several times. I think he's an amazing therapist. Will Hall interviewed him for Madness Radio. He gives the story of his own mental illness there.

Tiger isn't home. I suspect he's gone for good. It's been two weeks. Every time I hear a squeak or creak I think it's him meowing.

Brook: A low-carb diet might help your wife. Our "food" supply is just crap. We eat food-like substances manufactured in factories rather than real food. The wonder is that we aren't all having metabolic problems. I hope she's okay. Let us know.

FireBird: I feel your pain. I'm not sleeping as well recently either. Hope you get a good night's sleep soon.

Sorry about your cat. I tried to go back to sleep and might have gotten about 30 minutes of sleep total last night. I am also in a lot of pain for some odd reason (maybe my fibromyalgia acting up) and couldn't find a good position to sleep in.

I am rested and clear headed. I will have breakfast with my mom this morning at a resteraunt. I will visit with my wife who is in the hospital. I will relax and rest also. I have the day off from work.

Here and well enough. The flu thing has moved out of my head and into my chest which is annoying, but I think I'm now within striking distance of being well again. Thank heaven! I make a lousy patient.

I read yesterday that people dx'd with sz tend not to have the flush reaction to niacin. I guess most people taking a large dose of niacin turn red and their skin tingles. So of course I rushed out and bought niacin (not the non-flushing or time-released kind) and took one toward the end of my work day - on an empty stomach which apparently makes it worse. I turned red as a lobster and felt like I was standing out under a very hot sun. Then I got dizzy and drowsy - which is when I realized I really shouldn't have done that right before the drive home. It knocked me out and I slept like the dead last night.

Well, I had my son take one, and he had no reaction at all! Might be expected from what I was reading yesterday, I guess, but it still surprised me. It's things like this that make me wonder if the proponents of a biological basis for mental illness aren't right after all.

Sorry about the fibromyalgia. That sounds awful. Might fish oil help with that? Eating too much omega 6 relative to omega 3 (standard American diet) is inflammatory and leads to all kinds of bad things. I started eating lots of fish and taking fish oil in late March because of my sore shoulder. The shoulder pain went away within days. Fish oil is supposed to be very useful for rheumatoid arthritis, so maybe it would help with the fibromyalgia? I know they're different things, but they're both inflammatory, aren't they?

I may not like what the current batch of drugs does to us, but I am convinced that we are biologically different from people who haven't been dealing with psychotic disorders for some time. Of course that still leaves open to debate just how much of our current biochemistry and neurology is influenced by genetics, diet, medication, street drugs, or psychosocial factors.

I have also had a moderate improvement in my shoulder inflammation since I started on 3g of fish oil per day.

Hope you get rid of the bugs soon, Costello.

Im still here and kicking
We are in the midst of planning and prepairing for a big move across country june 1 so things have been very hectick
I'll check in as am able

I feel stable and that I am managing my life responsably. My thoughts are not preventing me from functioning or socializing. tks

Here and doing ok.

Took niacin at bedtime last night. That stuff knocks me out. I also seem to remember my dreams better. (Last night I was dreaming about spending money I didn't have - i.e., credit card. Too much like real life for my taste. ) Turns out my son did have the flush response to the niacin night before last. It just took an hour and 10 minutes to start. I was in bed by then. Last night I took the niacin with dinner, and I had a delayed and milder flush reaction too. That's a relief. My son and I didn't have such different reactions after all.

As I understand it, people with sz tend to have no or a reduced flush reaction to niacin. The flush is caused by the release of prostaglandin d2 (PGD2) from the skin. PGD2 is made of arachidonic acid (AA) which is one of the most abundant fatty acids in the brain. People with sz tend to be low on AA for some reason. I'm not sure if it's due to lack of AA (or omega 6 which the body can turn into AA) in the diet or if people with sz have problems metabolizing the omega 6 to AA. If it's a diet problem, I can do something about that. But if he's simply not making AA from omega 6 for some reason, I can't fix that.

Fortunately it seems he did have the flush, so evidently he does have AA.

(BTW, newtus, if you're reading this, the more I know about the essential fat acids and phospholipids, the more I worry about you and your diet. You need fish or fish oil. You've said you're vegetarian or vegan. You might see a dramatic change in your mental health just from adding fish oil.)