Roll call

Costello, I'm glad you slept well.

I, too, haven't been sleeping well. I've read that we make less and less of melatonin as we age. I've been taking Ambien and Ambien CR for years and now it doesn't seem to be doing the trick so I added time-release melatonin and finally got a restful night's sleep. My plan is to over time to completely switch from taking Ambien Cr to just taking time-release melatonin. Crossing fingers.

Well its Sun am and im absolutley exhausted. we had our second yard sale yesterday...
we had non stop buisness from 8 am till 3:30 pm... the sun was blaring, i didn't drink enough water and today im paying the price....ive got a screaming headache and body aches.... im buisy all day today and will not get rest till who knows when... this is the first time in a weeks ive been able to sit down fo rjust a few minutes and think about posting....



I am glad to know that your all doing okay for today ;0)

Voices are loud trying to keep busy with prayer and reading the Qur'an
With Allahs help i will get through this

I attend chrisitian services weekly and our pastor is firm on the focus of our worship. Privately, I learn from the teachings of anyone with a helpful lesson. Prophet or Prophetess.

Here and well enough. Still fighting off the last of the flu. And, of course, it's Monday again.

clear and manageable

Here and a bit tired. Didn't sleep as well as I might have. The dog was sick all night. And my son was listening to the tv loud and turning the kitchen light on. I noticed this morning he forgot his med last night. Not sure what's up with him. He's started smoking again. And he's got out his Wii and sits playing video games for hours. On the other hand his mood seems very even. I honestly can't say if he's better or worse, but he's definitely changed a bit recently.

Here and so tired! I'm not sure if it's the end of the flu still? Or all the extra omega 3's? Or more carbs? Whatever it is, I'm wiped out.

My thoughts have been disturbing at times and my mood has been mostly manageable. I am able to calm myself into a better thought process lately. Overall, I am well. Tks

Here and feeling more human again. I think this flu is loosening its grip. I have more energy this morning, and my mood is better.

Glad you're able to maintain.

Depressed and discouraged.

Why are you depressed and discouraged?

My son is struggling a bit right now. I think it will be okay, but today it seems a little hard. He's been drinking more recently, and now he's depressed.

Here and feeling much chipperer. Is that a word? More chipper maybe?

I'm back in the saddle. Did some research this morning on fish oils this morning that lead me to a new hypothesis - this one as to why fish oil capsules might be making my son worse rather than better.

I posted my idea here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showp...8&postcount=13

I am clear headed and socially acceptable today.

Here and dealing with new housemates "he said she said" bs. I'm too old for this garbage.

Can I join the roll call? I'm new here - and I'm (mostly) psychotic. It'd be great to have people who understand this to check in with.

Here.

Well, there's no denying it. My son has definitely slipped back into psychosis.

How the heck did this happen? He's doing everything exactly as he should. Dang it! I've seen this coming for over three weeks, and I kept thinking I was making too much of little things. Last night, though, he told me a story which was clearly a delusion. He seemed to recognize the possibility that it wasn't true, but the pull was too much. He was starting to convince himself it was real. He kept saying, "But what if it's true?" He knows as well as I do that this is how his delusions always start. He starts playing with an idea, what if it's so, until he begins to believe that it is so.

You're welcome, fish. The more, the merrier. BTW, I love your nickname!

Having a relaxing Sunday morning...

Here. It's very rainy so I'm as lethargic as humanly possible, but I'm here. I did yoga earlier and my hamstrings are singing.

I feel rested this morning. My wife will be discharged from the hospital today after being diagnosed with diabetes. It will be good to have her home. My thoughts seem coherent. My mood is manageable, bordering on happy? Weird...

Here and ok. The beginning of another work week.

Slept from about 9:30 to 4:00 with one brief wake up (I'd guess around 11:00) because my son woke me up. I was only awake very briefly before I fell back to sleep. So 6.5 hours? Not too bad. I would have wanted another hour, but it's ok and I don't feel particularly tired right now.

My son seemed somewhat better yesterday morning. He asked to come along with me and my mom on our regular Sunday outing. He was aloof but not irritable - even though it was a long day. Then we got home, and he just sat mutely and stared at the tv - which was switched off btw - but he seemed okay when I spoke to him. Finally he watched a show at 8 which he'd been looking forward to but which he somehow mananged to miss the first 13 minute of. He fussed over missing the beginning of the show, but that's par for the course, nothing new. (He has some obsession with doing things "perfectly," so missing the first 13 minutes of the show is a minor catastrophe signifying something very important to him and foretelling some kind of unspecified bad stuff in the future. I don't really understand it, but it's how he always is - even on a good day. )

I'm glad your wife is coming home, brook. Hope she manages her diabetes. Low carb can help.

here, I'm doing ok. I have an appointment with my counselor today at 11am.

Here, OK. Worrying about how much I was hallucinating in my lecturer's office hours today. I asked him why he stored his spine under his desk (it was a cable organiser that looked like a spine) . . . lucky he has a niece with SZ so I think he was less freaked out than he possibly could have been.

Here and utterly exhausted.

Slept 7 hours last night but it wasn't restful sleep. I made the mistake of relaxing last night and walking through my house feeling cheerful. It's like he waits until I'm feeling good then he attacks. Can't have me feeling happy, can we?

I put dinner in the oven and was walking past him sitting on the couch watching tv, when I asked him, "Good show?" - more to acknowledge his existence than because I cared if the show was good or not. He didn't answer, but that's common. An hour later he's apparently still thinking about this. He insists that I sit on the couch and talk to him about why I shouldn't have asked that. Apparently questions about tv shows are too penetratingly deep. He can't give just a yes or no answer. He would have to talk for 15 minutes about it. It has too many subtlies and depths to it. Why would I burden him like that?

Then he has the nerve to ask why I'm not responding to anything he's saying. Because I'm terrified that I'm going to inadvertently say something else wrong, that's why!

I told him I want him to move out. I'm tired of working my rear end off for him and getting almost nothing in return. I can't even ask him to help around the house. That offends him too. So I spend 9 hours a day at a job I hate, commute 2 hours, do what little work gets done around the house - and now I'm back to having to tiptoe around an unpredictable person sitting on my counch. Yay! I just love my life!

When I told him to move out, he tells me he'll be all alone if he moves out. He says he has no friends and no life. He says he knows that people don't like being around him because he's a drag and he doesn't know what to do about it and if he's on his own he'll probably start drinking and lose his job.

Why is it, if he knows I'm all he has, why is it that he's abusing me emotionally? Why would you kick the one person in the world who's killing herself to care for you? Why? I don't get it.

And when do I get a life? Who's going to take care of me while I'm taking care of him?

I'm through! He said last night that I could say anything at all to him if it's how I honestly feel, and he won't be angry. I didn't say it to him, but here's how I honestly feel, I feel like I'm 50 years old and all I can see for me until the day I drop and die is that I'll be a slave to a minor tyrant who can't shift himself to do anything to help himself but who can complain and complain and complain about how awful it is and how unfair it all is. I can't fix it for him. He's going to have to do the hard work himself. When I'm 70 and he's 47, will we still be doing this? Is this how it's to be forever?