Roll Call Take Two

But I told them what was wrong: it's PMS. I brought in the calendar I was tracking everything on. I brought in six different studies from the British Medical Journal detailing treatments that I would try and which are approved in the UK. I did all the work FOR the doctor and she still says TALK THERAPY?!?! *****.

I'm gla dyour diet is working, though!

Did the treatments require medical intervention? If not, do them on your own. The only time I can ever remember talking to a medical person about PMS was when I was in library school and I happened to go to the university clinic for some other reason. The nurse probably gave me some kind of opening like 'how are you doing otherwise?' and I mentioned that my periods bothered me. She told me I needed more exercise. I told her I was already walking to and from school - a round trip of 6 miles - with my heavy book bag on my back. She just stared at me for half a minute and said I needed even more exercise. Honestly they don't know what to say, so they make something up. It's small comfort I'm sure, but I did eventually find a permanent cure for PMS. It's called menopause.

I can feel your pain on this issue. I don't have a psych dx, so I haven't had anyone blame that for a medical problem. But I did spend years seeing doctors for fatigue. In fact it got really, really bad in my late 30's right before I started gaining weight. There's clearly a metabolic problem going on. But if you test out alright on all their tests, they tell you you're fine. You can tell by their attitude that they think you're just a whiny middle aged lady. No one ever suggested psychotherapy, but I'm sure someone would have if I'd been persistent.

A lot women on the low carb forum have thyroid problems. Every time I've had my thyroid checked I've been told it's fine. Of course, these ladies on the forum insist that doctors don't know how to detect hypothyroidism. They give me detailed info on which tests should be run and how to interpret the results. But, fish, it ain't gonna happen. I'm not going to go to my doctor and say, "Here's a list of tests the women on my low carb forum think you should run. These anonymous posters know more about medicine than you do." I haven't the nerve to do that. I wouldn't even have the nerve to do what you did and show up with info from recognized medical associations. And the reason is-- I don't want to be treated the way you were. I don't want someone telling me I'm a nut.

My boss went through this when he turned 40. He felt awful and was losing weight and he kept going to one doctor after another. They started treating him like he was a nut. He finally gave up without getting an answer. 12 years later he's still really thin and gray looking, but he just uses his own little home treatments to deal with the discomfort and gets on as best he can.

I'm sorry I'm just really cynical about medical people. I seriously can't remember a time a doctor has actually helped me. I'm still tired all the time. Just yesterday I was telling my mom how exhausted I am. And I must mention it to my son a lot too, because he's worried about me. But I've been tired for years. Sometimes it's worse, sometimes better. I do what I can. Fuss with my diet. Make sure I get sleep. I take up exercise occasionally, but it only seems to make the fatigue worse. I've given up on getting a doctor to help me with it.

In short, you have my sympathy, but if you're going to mess with doctors, you just have to go into the appointment knowing you're likely to get the kind of crap you got.

GRRRRR Medical 'professionals', if they don't know then it's always either: exercise, talk therapy, or diet. I actually have a really great doc, who doesn't understand most of my issues so she refers me to specialists. Alas, it's the 'highly trained specialists' that still give me the above run around, even when they don't know all my mental health ****.

@guru2013 - I heard what you were saying, and agree. Although there are many bonds within a family system of any type, and they are all important, a father/son bond is special and unique. I am sorry that Father's Day was upsetting to you. And, personally, I'm still not 100% certain who on here is in fact male or female, so I for certain have not done any male bashing! I hope you haven't felt unwelcome in any way. If you have, I am confident it was unintentional.

@fish - that doctor was ridiculous. I've taken meds for pms before. Why is it that when you don't want meds, they're shoving them down your throat, and when you do want something they won't give you any!?!

I wanted to try a hormonal IUD. Not something I want to insert on my own. I found a pretty big UK study that says that for women with PMS that doesn't respond well to five different hormonal birth control tablets, doctors could try a hormonal IUD and it might work better.

Honestly? I didn't think asking for that was going to be a big issue. Apparently before I do something so "drastic" as "use a wholly safe form of birth control that millions of women use anyway for a variety of reasons" I need to get talk therapy to see if it can't be managed that way.

Also I had a bunch of tests I was going to fight for, but after the IUD fiasco I decided to just leave it.

Yeah, I'm always waiting for them to say that. I started taking my London Marathon finisher's medals along to doctor's appointments. Only thing I've ever found that makes them shut up.

I have to wait 30+ years for that.

Those most classic example of this is how I went permanently blind in my left eye from chlorpromazine while two different psychiatrists just told me I was having visual hallucinations and upped the dosage. ****ers. Nobody once thought to refer me to an opthamologist just in the *off chance* that I was experiencing a known side-effect of a drug they were giving me.

Doctors don't know very much, actually -- they're just incredibly arrogant about it! I think it's part of their training. I've seen plenty of nice, smart kids go in for their medical training and come out the other end arrogant little ****ers.

Oh -- it could. But you have to pay them handsomely. That's been my problem for years.

I'm cynical too. I pretty much only see doctors when I need emergency birth control after a rape (or I guess an IUD), or if I have an infection or some kind of broken limb/digit. ETA: They actually are quite good at mending broken limbs!

One of life's little mysteries.

I was going to make a very negative comment about everyone being a-holes.....oh looky there! I did make that comment after all!

lol... You must be channeling my dad. He used to tell me broken bones were the only thing you should see a doctor for!

He's so right!!

@fish - maybe you should've just said you wanted it for birth control purposes, instead of for pms. Tell them that since other doctors have diagnosed you as being crazy, you can't trust yourself to remember to take pills everyday, which is why you want the IUD implanted.

I tried that . . . but doctors often won't give a woman an IUD unless they've already been pregnant (even though that is against their clinical guidelines). They tend to make exceptions where there's a particular medical reason, which is why I brought up the PMS after I tried the "I just want it for BC" approach.

Never mind that they're my ladybits and I should be allowed to stick whatever the hell I like up there.

*agree!*
actually, that bit about needing to have had a child, there is actually a medical reason for that, which a former co-worker of mine found out when she had one inserted. She had to have it taken out two weeks later due to incredible pain. You need to have had your cervix dilated before.
Are you unable to tolerate the oral meds? There's a couple I've had good success with, and I often have trouble with medications.

It's not actually generally true. The NHS gives quite a few women my age (mid-twenties and older) IUDs even if they have never had children. Several of my female friends and co-workers have them, but have not had kids. It's true that it's generally more risky and painful if you haven't had kids, though -- and more likely not to work out, as seems to have happened to your co-worker.

I've tried five/six different pills (for four months each time) and none of them have done anything. I'm extremely sensitive to side-effects and I get panic attacks from daily medication (from the forced psych drugging).
I wanted the IUD because it seems to work differently - it gives a very low level of hormones right to the area that needs them.

I agree you should be able to have the IUD if you understand the risks (which you do) and it is what you want done. I absolutely agree that the concept of "talk therapy" for pms is absolutely ludicrous! I can't believe anyone could say that with a straight face.

Do you know a brand name for the IUD that you want? If so, you might be able to look at a manufacturer's website, and there could be a "find practitioners in your area" type link. Drug companies being in bed with medical offices ought to benefit someone.

Though it would be pretty impressive is someone could therapise my ovaries into submission!

I don't think it works like that in the UK I get private health insurance through my work in July, though, so hopefully a private doctor will give it to me.

It really stinks that insurance companies wind up being in charge of medical care. Are you on public insurance currently? I hope it will be different when you have private insurance.
I can definitely sympathize. I have severe reactions to my period. I changed insurance this winter, so have been without meds for this since then. I'm sure I can have them again, but I have to go for an exam first, and it's taking me months to work up to it. I wish they would just knock you out for it. If the dentist can do it, why not the gyno?
Hopefully you'll get a more reasonable answer from a new doctor in July!

We have what you yanks call "socialised medicine". Everybody can get care "on the NHS" - the national health service, which the government pays for completely and which is free to access as the point of service.
But if you have enough money or a good enough job, you can get private health insurance to go see private (i.e., non-NHS) doctors. They're generally considered to be MUCH better, if only because the good doctors leave the NHS because they can make so much more money and have better working conditions in private practice. But also, they get paid to make you happy -- because you're the person bringing their money, not the government -- and they'll run any tests or do any treatment that you can afford if it's relevant and ethical. NHS doctors tend to "ration" care because of budgetary constraints.

We have always had something like that - but the net is not as broad as you all have. By this I mean medicare and medicaid. There are very limited care providers you can see that will accept these, and only certain things are covered. Private insurance is better, but still restrictive.
I hope your private insurance will prove to be a big improvement!

I am under intense, immense, incredible stress. I can't handle this huge annoying angry attacking stress. Mom's knee is awful. This surgery is stressful.

My computer is failing, it looks to be a power supply problem, I pray its not my entire computer failing because I had nothing but problems since I got this thing last year. I think it cost around $1,800. It even has an extreme i7 processor. Very powerful machine but it is nothing but problems. When I got this thing last year it kept on freezing on me. Then my monitor started acting weird. Now my monitor and mouse keep on failing.

Then last month we had to get a car. $15,000 worth of payments, adding $300 a month so it is going to make us poorer. I know dad makes a good amount but each year it gets worse financially. I know for an ABSOLUTE FACT that when dad retires, we will live in extreme poverty. I mean $12,000-25,000 for a family of 4, well below the national average of $40,000.

None of the family is functional without mom. Even my own dad can't cook a meal, and neither can I. It gets overwhelming. Sometimes even when I cook a simple TV dinner if it doesn't cook right I don't know what to do and I panic.

Even taking a simple shower is hard for me, it takes too much effort. I take one every other day to every 3 days. There are times where I am so depressed/ stressed that it can even go longer. When I don't take a shower its hard to even brush my teeth everyday, sometimes I go a couple of days without it. There is no way on Earth that I can do it in the morning as well because it takes sometimes hours to get out of bed and i have 0 energy in the morning and then I have to take pills that make me even more tired (and fat of course!).

I can't drive. I can't figure out simple things. My IQ is very low as well (tested between 78-85 depending on the test).

I am completely HOPELESS. Realistic as I call it. Realism means more in touch with reality than the average population. Everything and I do mean everything has been going wrong for the past 2 months. In fact, I can't name something that has gone for the GOOD (well, except maybe all the coverage of E3 {a gaming expo} and watching the trailers for the games).

I know that my new fattening pill has helped me come out of my psychosis but everyday I am still hearing things occasionally. Maybe a couple of times a day. I am definitely NOT happy right now. Nothing but realistic problems. I know when the parents die (and the will probably be in my near... very near future) I will end up homeless. Literally begging for money. I do get SSI but I bet it will be pulled from under me around next year because then it will be 7 years. I think after 7 years I would need a full review of everything but I sometimes appear normal. It will backfire on me.

Oh yeah! A few days ago it looked like my dad was having a heart attack. he couldn't breathe and had severe chest pain. They don't know what it actually was, but sometimes when I get panic attacks I get that as well. He does have angina though. That can lead to heart attacks. I was screaming and cussing away along with crying because I thought FOR SURE that it was it, that he was going to die right there and then.

I have 3 failing companies that no one is interested in. Every time we started a new company, we prayed and prayed that it will save our lives and get us out of the financial mess and have success in my life. In fact, we are so far away from success, I don't even know what that word really means.

No relaxation. Nothing. Just realism laughing at me. I am so stupid and low (borderline intellectual functioning to be exact), that I can't figure out how to help my mom with her special walker. It even has a seat. But how to open it up, and collapse it is too difficult of a task for me, because of my low cognitive level. Even my primary care doctor has written down in his notes, "low cognitive level." Basically total stupidity. If I want to get it right, I am an idiot. In the old days that meant an IQ of below 20. So, that is my daily update.

Aw, Firebird, I don't have much to say except to send you lots of hugs and best wishes, whatever that means to you.

And . . . I don't know you well, and I hope I'm not crossing over any lines or anything, but I wish you wouldn't beat yourself up about your IQ and how "low" you are. Maybe it's true; I don't know. But you know, the first thing I thought when reading your post is how perfect your English is. Everything is in its proper place, all the right punctuation, everything . . . I'm a sub-editor -- I think you call that 'copy-editor' over there? -- and let me tell you, there are people with PhDs and 180 IQs who cannot write as well as you do. Maybe it is even something that in time you can make into a money-earning thing.

Thank you, fishsandwich. That made me feel good. I had a first grade class that drilled in punctuation and basically anything else in English.

I am having even more stress, if that was possible. I bet my mom's knee will become infected. The wound is getting redder. She has a history of infections (she has Sjogren's syndrome), actually as time goes on it gets worse. Her back is still technically infected even though she had the surgery last year. She has so many health problems that she goes in for yearly surgeries, in fact sometimes more than one a year. This year, the knee surgery is the second surgery of the year. I have a saying for this. It's called "Real to the extreme." What this means is that with my mom (the only one that can keep the house going, as she is the only functional person in the house that has decent activities of daily living skills) when even its something simple, it goes for the worst. A cough? Pneumonia. A pain somewhere? Dangerous surgery incoming.

Now my dad is having back pain as well and I bet it will need dangerous surgery. Dad cries out in pain yelling and screaming when he has to have surgery. The last time he had major surgery, I had a psychotic break from all the stress. I can't deal with people in pain, it hurts me to watch. What is weird is that my mom is not even that old to be having so many health problems. She is only 57. Some of the problems she is experiencing is more like someone of an age of more like in their 80's.

I forgot the rats and mice that are in the house still. I am having that stressor bothering me as well.

I know I am forgetting other stressors. It is just too much going on.

here... listening to light jazz today. it's like travelling to another era in time. waving goodbye to the stress for a while.

Here. A bit under the weather -- I think it's hayfever, but it's nothing major. I saw an exhibit about the Bauhaus at the weekend and it proper did my head in, my psychotic mind is seeing everything in very modernist forms with all frills and details removed; which is fine if you're designing a chair but not so fine if you're seeing people that way!

@fishsandwich - is that a disturbing way to see people? Is it interesting? How different is it from other times? (if it is okay to ask) I am trying to picture what this must be like and I'm not sure I've got it. I am intrigued.