Roll Call 14

Jan 09, 2014, 08:01 PM

I wasn't shocked that in the 1920s or something, psychiatrists would have a person with psychosis, put ice picks above the eyes, reach into the frontal lobe and move the ice picks back and forth to make them more mellow..

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 09, 2014, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

yea and i am still an activist. but its hard to work when your chemically restrained.

its ok.

people think im delusional and even the therapist did when i said i was an activist. hah that hurt. but whatever. i consider myself a social and political activist.

anyway
my choices are extremely slim when changing docs because of my financial situation and where i live and medicare and all that. the whole community mental health thing isnt working for me because they dont care. and it just might be the only choice i have right now. but its not a good one. the reason i say only choice is because their whole system of the pdoc and nurse and therapist being all in one building is fantastic but their choice of care or "system of care" is just crap. and i see it with other people who come in there complaining.

im at a loss of words
and idk what to do as of right now
and i know everyone here doesnt know what to do to help me and thats understandable because its the internet.

but idk.

Honestly I think your only option if you have to stick with them is to do exactly what they want until you rebuild trust...once they trust you there are more options and you may be able to reason with them...it's an awful plan but it's the only one that has any chance of working...these guys just have far too much power and ego on top of it...they want to "save" you whether you want it or not.

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 09, 2014, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alonewithmycat

I wasn't shocked that in the 1920s or something, psychiatrists would have a person with psychosis, put ice picks above the eyes, reach into the frontal lobe and move the ice picks back and forth to make them more mellow..

Yeah they actually got a Nobel prize for that too!

The_little_didgee · Jan 09, 2014, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

they dont even want me to goto school.
they said:
no driving
no going to school
no getting a job
but they say do something with my time. theres only SO MUCH i can do PERIOD - while drugged. and at THAT they dont want me to do a lot of that stuff.

What are you supposed to do? Stay home and do nothing? How is that going to help your mental health? Social isolation exacerbates mental illness. They know that.

I wish I could help.

newtus · Jan 09, 2014, 08:08 PM

i dont know if i have the choice of getting off haldol now. and if i did they will want me to start all over with low to high doses til i prob gain weight and get diabetes.

the difference is either get a med that makes me sleep or get one that induces diabetes. the sleeping one is better but they dont have to have me at such a high dose.

at 75mg i wasnt sleeping that much very little. then they raised it because i was in the hospital for suicidal (not psychotic) reasons.

haldol actually makes me more depressed. thats both a side effect for me and because my quality of life im contained in.

what they are doing is actually backwards

Gr3tta · Jan 09, 2014, 08:09 PM

Im thinking about a chemistry degre offered at the community college. It would qualify me to work in a lab, nd there are several big chemical and pharmaceutical companies in my city that are frequently hiring for these entry level jobs. I already have more than enough English, history, and math, so i would hope to get it done quickly. I think i could that. I like doing things exactly right.

newtus · Jan 09, 2014, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

What are you supposed to do? Stay home and do nothing? How is that going to help your mental health? Social isolation exacerbates mental illness. They know that.

I wish I could help.

thats their mode of thinking. and they think that its recovery but its not.

rationalizing - i could see doing that a couple of weeks but its been not just 1 month but SIX Months ive been sleeping all the time. i sleep less on lower dosages they gave me but this 100mg (NOW TWICE A MONTH) is blowing this out of the water. its too much

i even asked them for 75mg again and they said no

The_little_didgee · Jan 09, 2014, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

Im thinking about a chemistry degre offered at the community college. It would qualify me to work in a lab, nd there are several big chemical and pharmaceutical companies in my city that are frequently hiring for these entry level jobs. I already have more than enough English, history, and math, so i would hope to get it done quickly. I think i could that. I like doing things exactly right.

When would you start classes?

I took chemistry last semester and enjoyed it. The labs were fun. Ones that involved making colorful liquids and precipitates were really popular.

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 09, 2014, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

Im thinking about a chemistry degre offered at the community college. It would qualify me to work in a lab, nd there are several big chemical and pharmaceutical companies in my city that are frequently hiring for these entry level jobs. I already have more than enough English, history, and math, so i would hope to get it done quickly. I think i could that. I like doing things exactly right.

You can do that in 2 years? Most chem work I know of requires at least a BS if not a PhD but the people I know are all in academics and not pharma...apparently a lot of the pharma chemistry has been shipped to China and it's mostly their supervisors over here. But then you would know better than me since you've looked into it. I absolutely loved organic chemistry...it was so fun. That sounds awesome! You should totally do it!

costello · Jan 09, 2014, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

I'm thinking about trying to finish a 2year degree. I really hate school, but it is not terribly expensive here, and since i already have some complete i am hopeful i could get it done in a year maybe. I really want a new job. And although i am hesitant to take on something at which i would not be successful, my boredom level says i need a little more challenge. I am still mulling it over though.

I'm in the same boat. I'll be having a campus visit on the 24th. Talk to financial aid and the school of animal industry and science.

I talked to one of our professors the other day about my boredom at work. She has a project she says I can work on. A little change of pace. Not too exciting IMO, but a bit of a change. I started working on it today.

What would you study, Gr3tta?

ETA: Sorry. I see that you answered that question already!

Atypical_Disaster · Jan 09, 2014, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

thats their mode of thinking. and they think that its recovery but its not.

rationalizing - i could see doing that a couple of weeks but its been not just 1 month but SIX Months ive been sleeping all the time. i sleep less on lower dosages they gave me but this 100mg (NOW TWICE A MONTH) is blowing this out of the water. its too much

i even asked them for 75mg again and they said no

newtus, I feel for you. Something similar happened to me(forced medication and refusing to lower the dose, sleeping all the time, suicidal, etc) when I was younger and it's a miracle I got out of that mess(I only got out of it because my parents told them to change my medication, I was under 18). You're not alone, I know that's a small comfort though.

The_little_didgee · Jan 09, 2014, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

thats their mode of thinking. and they think that its recovery but its not.

rationalizing - i could see doing that a couple of weeks but its been not just 1 month but SIX Months ive been sleeping all the time. i sleep less on lower dosages they gave me but this 100mg (NOW TWICE A MONTH) is blowing this out of the water. its too much

i even asked them for 75mg again and they said no

My experience with injections is limited. I only had them twice and found the side effects very unpleasant. One of them was Haldol. It took over a week for the side effects to go away.

Have you seen your psychiatrist lately? You should tell that person what you are posting here.

H3rmit · Jan 09, 2014, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

You can do that in 2 years? Most chem work I know of requires at least a BS if not a PhD but the people I know are all in academics and not pharma...

I know we have 2-year technologist certificates you can do here and become a very desirable lab tech. Here's the premier school near me for that, with two versions of the program:

BCIT : : Chemical and Environmental Technology

Just as a for instance. It wouldn't be called a "degree" up here, but a certificate.

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 09, 2014, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H3rmit

I know we have 2-year technologist certificates you can do here and become a very desirable lab tech. Here's the premier school near me for that, with two versions of the program:

BCIT : : Chemical and Environmental Technology

Just as a for instance. It wouldn't be called a "degree" up here, but a certificate.

That's cool...I would recommend lab work to anyone it's very flexible...a little repetitive but you're helping to advance medicine and stuff so that's also nice

newtus · Jan 09, 2014, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Have you seen your psychiatrist lately? You should tell that person what you are posting here.

i wont see him til mid february.

and he listens to me less than anyone else.

the nurse keeps saying he cares about me and my welfare but he doesnt. hes upped my med twice in less than two months. sorta drastically. from 75mg to 100mg and now from once a month to twice a month. thats like upping it for the entire month.

200mg a month.

i dont stand a chance right now.

he wont listen to me.

i asked him at 75mg to lower it to 50 and he said "maybe in 3-6 months" and i was thinnking *are you kidding me*.

The_little_didgee · Jan 09, 2014, 09:03 PM

I think Gr3tta meant Associates Degree.

Quote:

Originally Posted by H3rmit

Just as a for instance. It wouldn't be called a "degree" up here, but a certificate.

In Ontario a one year college program: certificate
Two years: diploma
Three years: advanced diploma.
Some colleges offer degree programs. These take 4 years to complete.

Community or junior college is equivalent to a Canadian college (technical/trade school).

Why do Americans call universities colleges? It is confusing for us Canadians.

Gr3tta · Jan 09, 2014, 09:08 PM

Thanks everybody! They have the exact associate's program at the community college in my city that the companies in my city ask for for lab tech or lab assistant positions. It would be a lot of ppipette work and then some documentation. The degree can be rolled into a bs at the community college or transferred to the local university as well. But there is NO WAY i want to face down that much school nt to mention all that debt. But it could always be an optin later.
I havent made an appointment to talk to anyone yet. I still need to do that.

newtus · Jan 09, 2014, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

The degree can be rolled into a bs at the community college or transferred to the local university as well.

did i get this right?

a bachelors in science or a bullsh_t?

anyway good for you! seriously. good!

newtus · Jan 09, 2014, 09:18 PM

my dad said he may start working agian.
then ill REALLY be physically alone all the time.

im worried.

The_little_didgee · Jan 09, 2014, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

Thanks everybody! They have the exact associate's program at the community college in my city that the companies in my city ask for for lab tech or lab assistant positions. It would be a lot of ppipette work and then some documentation. The degree can be rolled into a bs at the community college or transferred to the local university as well. But there is NO WAY i want to face down that much school nt to mention all that debt. But it could always be an optin later.
I havent made an appointment to talk to anyone yet. I still need to do that.

University classes are definitely a lot more expensive than college. When I was in college my yearly loan was at least $2000 less.

Gr3tta you should look into grants and bursaries. There are some specifically for students with disabilities (includes mental illness).

Gr3tta · Jan 09, 2014, 09:20 PM

Newtus-i meant a bachelor's. No BS

Costello- i am so happy for you! I hope you will start back to school and it will go great! I know you have been very unhappy in your job. Time for something better.

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 09, 2014, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

my dad said he may start working agian.
then ill REALLY be physically alone all the time.

im worried.

Did you get to talk to your T today? How did that go? Maybe you can ask her for some ways to meet new people IRL?

Gr3tta · Jan 09, 2014, 09:25 PM

@the little didgee- i am going to apply for a pell grant, and any others i might qualify for. School where i live now is not too horribly expensive, i just really really hate to have debt. I want to keep it to a minimum for sure!
Are you headed back to school, or are you taking a break?

newtus · Jan 09, 2014, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Did you get to talk to your T today? How did that go? Maybe you can ask her for some ways to meet new people IRL?

he might start working immediately. he said he told them even about working today. but they needed to talk to him more. im so worried about being alone. it flares up my symptoms.

and yea i talked to my T today. it went horrible becuase i was so stressed and mad about the injection i had earlier today. i was holed up. i wont see her for another two weeks either.

the CMHC place is so packed with clients they dont have time for once a week sessions. i even thought about changing therapists. becuase i need one 1x a week. but i like her because shes nice and knows the docs and nurses and can communicate with them and she knows how to deal with people with Sz. plus takes medicare cause CMHC. thats extremely hard to find. actually theres no one else around here that can do all that. not for 40 miles anyway.

newtus · Jan 09, 2014, 09:31 PM

@gretta

id like to go back to school. in fact im trying to. but its nothing great compared to you. its a certificate. if i can even do it.

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