Roll Call 14

Thanks. Now I have to figure out how to pay for it.

thats really good costello. im glad to hear it. i really am.

Your psychiatrist seems like a medication pusher. Script happy!

There has to be a way to sort this out so that you can have a life.

@Newtus - well dont count my chickens before they're hatched. I havent even signed up yet much less finished it. I couldnt do it any other time i tried. I think maybe its a good time try again though. And you should feel good abut completing whatever you can. Work on what is a good goal for you, and dont compare yourself to others. I think if you do a class at a time and are successful, thats terrific.!

Wow that's fast...well at least you still have your pets(and all us Internet friends )

I'm glad things are working out with your T...it's a shame she can't see you more often....but at least she's cool with the sz that's rare I think. I'm thinking of getting a T again...the new pdoc recommended I get one for my social anxiety if I wanted to fix that and she would help me. I'm still not sure if I want to or not...part of me thinks I should do it to reduce social stress that might make me psychotic again but the other part is kind of lazy and doesn't want to do the work...I think they actually make you be social like go to places where people are and like hang out and strike up conversations with strangers and stuff. That would actually be more stressful...

you betcha he is.

im worried that the only way i can figure it out is to keep on this tons of medication til they lower it. in a few months MAYBE i have no clue if they will lower it.

at the same time if it doesnt change i might change doctors later.

thats all i can think of to do right now.

ive tried everything from exercising to coffee to vitamins to 5 hr energy bottles to get me less sleepy and MORE and nothing works. its so crazy.

and my injection site kinda bleeds a lot.

You have to start somewhere and all learning is good..I'm really glad to see you setting goals, god I sound like a T or something with the goals . I didn't even make New Years resolutions this year too lazy so you are ahead of me!

OMG I just remembered something...smoking affects to dose of antipsychotics...tell him you were trying to quit smoking so you make have been experiencing a temporary fluctuation of APs that caused your refusal of the injection temporarily. I doubt he'll lower the dose immediately but he might be more lenient sooner if you feel the dose is too high because you are smoking less...I'm not saying it's a great plan but it has a chance.

My province has the highest tuition fees in Canada.

I am trying to keep my loan to minimum. The amount I owe isn't too bad. I get a $2000 grant each year which really helps keep it down. This morning I was awarded a $500 bursary. I got this for volunteering in a program that makes education more accessible for disabled students.

I was going to take a break, because my illness flared up, but I decided not to. To make the semester more manageable (and mental health friendly) I dropped a class and a lab. That took 6 hours off my weekly schedule. I am not in the mood to be in constant stress. Anyway I quit taking medication so I need to be careful.

oh so if i smoke more the AP works less?

@The littl didgee-i am glad you decided to reduce your classes instead of having to break altgether. Are you feeling better with your negative symptoms?

I still feel sick but I also feel oddly, hyper and wired. Like keyed up or something. That's weird.

Yes I mean it's not great to smoke but it might get you through...they specifically told me not to start smoking when I started my AP basically they would have trouble adjusting the dose for this very reason. It actually changes the rate that your body degrades the AP so it actually clears your system faster.

Everyone agrees with my decision. Taking a break would have been a really bad idea. I don't work so what would I do. I cannot go mushroom hunting. There is only so much drawing and reading I could do. My mother told me it would make my depression worse.

I feel really lazy and unmotivated. It could be the depression. I have been trying to force myself to eat. Hopefully this will give me some energy. I am also trying to take a shower everyday. That seems to help my mood.

I don't know what my diagnosis is. I am questioning my past psychiatric history and all the diagnoses I was given over the years. Since I was once diagnosed with BPD in the past I started a thread about psychotic symptoms in BPD in the BPD forum.

Gr3tta, what is the pell grant?

hmmm lol. thank you Sometimes

The pell grant is federal grant money available in the states. I dont know the exact qualifiers but lower income is a factor, and for younger people having parents who are deceased is a factor, military service can also come into play. I qualified for some before just based on my income. The amount you are awarded varies.
Talking to you guys got me motivated! While ive been online i officially applied to the school, and requested my official transcript from my last school be sent there. I wanted to get that don before i meet with anyone so they will have all the info. Thnks everyone!

No problem although I'm probably going straight to hell for telling you to smoke more to get rid of your AP .

Can you help me? I started this thread in the BPD forum: http://forums.psychcentral.com/borde...-symptoms.html

I am trying to figure my psychotic symptoms. It describes some of my experiences.

I will look at it now and help if i c a n.

http://www.in.gov/isdh/files/DRUG_IN...TH_SMOKING.pdf

Found this about smoking interaction with haldol...looks like a nice reduction although from what they are saying you might have to use real cigs instead of e-cigs...but it's like a 70% reduction from not smoking....so it probably depends on how much you smoke now.

Ok so here is my take....the fact that you had psychosis for more than 6 months puts you into the major psychotic illnesses...this means schizophrenia, schizoaffective or psychotic depression. But it depends on a few other things...first you have to be functionally impaired to have any of them. If you're going about life just fine then it doesn't count no matter how much you hallucinate. Second the sza and pd are dependent on mood symptoms. With sza you get both ups and downs and with pd you can only hallucinate if you are depressed. Given that your doctor mentioned sz and that is most consistent it may be that is what you have....but if you do I would say it is very mild...weren't you like on 1mg of abilify or something really low like that? Plus since you had two distinct episodes it means you can go into remission for long periods which is great and unusual. Maybe that's why they went with psychosis nos....it's not really like the textbook definitions of any of the psychotic disorders. Here is my diagnosis...you are unique...what is happening to you is not classified by the DSM 5...Seriously though if you're thinking about reading or learning more about the major psychotic disorders the only one that has really good books/articles is sz....the treatments for the psychotic parts of each are the same...antipsychotics ...the only difference is you might also get a mood stabilizer or antidepressant in addition for the others.

That sounds great! It would be amazing if I could get a lab job even if it means just cleaning. I will figure out who to email about this information at the college. (:

@newtus

Your experience reminds me of the medical reference of medical professionals using "chemical straight jackets". This term means that medical professionals administer patients with over sedating medications than required. This sometimes occurs in nursing homes to deal with elder patients with behavioral problems such as those associated with dementia.

PD was used to explain what is not happening in the DSM perhaps?

The last psychosis I had changed me. After that life became harder to live. It left me with some cognitive impairments. I definitely lost some IQ points. I had motivation to do simple things like shower everyday. It isn't unusual for me to go 6 or 7 days without a shower, even when I am not depressed. Gross. I struggle to eat properly and look after my apartment. I can't even fold my clean laundry. I never worked. I'm on disability. Yes, I attend university at a very reduced course load (2 classes). It is not easy at all. I have a lot of support provided to me by the university. Without that I could never make it.

Is it common to get symptoms in-between episodes?

Yes, I was on 1.5 mg of Abilify. I am small and very susceptible to side effects. Standard doses are too much for me. When I was in hospital medication dosing was a huge issue. A lot of the time my medications were dispensed in liquid form because the prescribed low doses were not possible with pill cutting.

Thanks for the reply.

I have been traumatized by the BPD diagnosis the doctors gave me when I was 16. I can't seem to let it go.
What I really want is to get BPD off my records.

I have trouble with eating properly, showering, and laundry too

I read your thread and that doesn't sound typical for bpd.

I have symptoms all the time, but severity differs at times. I always have delusions, but at times they can be so crippling that I can't function and need a higher does of my risperdal. Other times I can function well yet struggle a tad bit such as censoring what I think so people don't read my mind and think badly of me. I know it sounds silly, but I can't help about thinking this.