Roll Call 14

I don't see how you becoming a zombie is going to help your recovery. It feels more like a band-aid tactict and it makes me mad. They should listen and care that these side effects are bad for you.
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Sometimes I hear what you are saying. I understand exactly what your point of view is and was. I totally get it. But how can you tell Newtus that she needs to fight the battle differently (write letters, lobby against the system, etc) if she can't even function enough to get out of bed? If they keep her over medicated by her injections how the heck is she suppose to change the "quality of her life"? She can't. She has explained in detail exactly what the injection does for her. So knowing this information why should she have to put up with it for "years" until they decide to listen to her and bring the medication down? I know docs and nurses have rules to follow. I fully understand that. I know they have a job to do. Granted. I promote recovery also. I believe a person has to do everything they can to work on their personal recovery. My point is this... from everything I have read from Newtus about this injection situation....I don't believe she is purposely trying to be non complaint. I think she is forced to become non complaint because they continue to force an over the top amount of an injectable medication into her body and it is ruining her "quality of life". I think if they had Newtus on a medication that was actually helping her, that she would take it willingly! Obviously she desires to be well and have a productive life. That doctor has rules to follow yes but he is the one that decides what medication to give. If a patient is saying this isn't working then just maybe they should listen. Don't you think?

So yeah---I absolutely agree she has a choice in meds---if they don't offer her another option they are even bigger jerks than I think---there are several injectable atypicals(risperidone and abilify) that I'm sure would be acceptable even to her untrusting doctors but what I understand her to be saying is not I want another med but I want no med. I'm actually not saying she should write letters---I honestly feel that is an unwinnable battle given how many mass shootings have been attributed to MI individuals lately---what my actual argument is that recovery or an attempt at it is the only way out. What she is experiencing right now is chemical restraint which I think should be freakin' illegal. This happened because she pissed off her treatment team who are poor excuses for human beings to begin with. It will happen every time she fights with them so long as she continues to see them. They will see it as an improvement and continue the treatment indefinitely. Given the few choices in a rural local she is probably stuck with this team and will deal with them for years. Pissing off a**holes who actually have the power to chemically restrain you at will is a really poor choice. Its just like being in the psych hospital---you can lie to get out or actually get better. You have to comply and play their game or you will never get away from it. Play along until you either get better or find a way out.

i feel like im one those old big time musicians who suddenty end up homeless because of a few bad choices and then no one givees a crap about me anymore.

at this point in time i have no way out.

and idk when they will even reduce the meds IF THEY EVEN DO.

i might even have to cancel taking that college course because the meds also fog my brain and then the sleeping all the time. they said they didnt even want me to goto school. hah

the only thing i can hope will happen is if my body gets used to this 100mg and backs off on me sleeping so much. im HOPING that will happen.

i might even change doctors. but that takes a lot of time and who knows what contact they may have between each other if they do. IF THEY DO. idk. ive never changed psychiatrist on medicare. im still new to medicare.

when i was college i was on the freaking board to help fight the system and alternative medications. and thats when if i remember on either no meds or very little meds. does no one remmeber me saying that? does anyone remmeber when i was on these boards fighting the system? thats when i was on little to no meds and i was getting sh_t done. i might compare it to hypomania or even mania and i wasnt totally healthy but i was getting stuff done.

i even met with the state representative of NAMI of TEXAS personally. some people may be new to hearing that. i know some are.

SometimesP your preaching to the choir. i was on the board and group of people fighting this in college when i was just not on these meds or very little.

im dreading when this med kicks in because i cant think. i cant physically function correctly. my negative symptoms are ramped.

i agree not being on meds hasnt ENTIRELY helped me. but i was doing stuff. it wasnt holding me back like it is now. what im saying is they arent listening or even compromising for some reason i dont entirely know and i even ASKED them today "WHY" they said "yeaaa..." and went on.

I'm thinking about trying to finish a 2year degree. I really hate school, but it is not terribly expensive here, and since i already have some complete i am hopeful i could get it done in a year maybe. I really want a new job. And although i am hesitant to take on something at which i would not be successful, my boredom level says i need a little more challenge. I am still mulling it over though.

Atypical i hope you do not have the flu!
Cracking i hope your flu is gone or at least on its way out.

Sorry I've only been here since last May...I didn't realize you were an activist. That's awesome! I'm at this point trying to think of what I could do to generate the most impact...I'm think about maybe writing something and submitting it to the ny times. Anyway sorry if I've been overbearing with my words today I'm just worked up because of my pdoc visit yesterday....there is just this insecurity when a single person can determine your freedom so it is just as much me reminding myself of the unwritten rules and to be very careful with the docs. There is no way to win but to get better and get out. The whole system is set to work against people who do not respond to the meds. I was incredibly lucky that the meds worked for me at all...I'm sorry your treatment team is awful and agree it is worth a shot to try and change docs if you can.

I just think they should listen to her and lift the chemical restraint so that she can function and improve her quality of life so that she can having a fighting chance for recovery.

I'm thinking about trying to finish a 2year degree. I really hate school, but it is not terribly expensive here, and since i already have some complete i am hopeful i could get it done in a year maybe. I really want a new job. And although i am hesitant to take on something at which i would not be successful, my boredom level says i need a little more challenge. I am still mulling it over though.