Roll Call 17

a girl died in the program im in. they are drug testing everyone. they havent called me to drug test me. they might not because im on the last level and dont go to the main campus that much. she was living on the main campus. but its weird bc they said it was blood sugar. they lie about deaths a lot. last summer a resident committed suicide on the interstate. they said he was saving a dog in the road. but he wasnt. it was ruled a suicide. but they lied about it. thats what i dont liek. why do u have to lie. u should say it was drugs to scare people. not lie and cover it up to besomething natural or benign

How about volunteering at a shelter?
No set schedule, go in when you want.
See about walking the dogs, brushing them, playing with cats......

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im sorry to hear that junkDNA. they shouldnt lie.

They probably lied about the suicide to prevent others having the same idea or triggering feelings?

also if you can't reach your doctor try calling the pharmacy. Pharmacists are really good sources of information about meds, reactions with other meds, withdrawal or allergic reactions. I call the pharmacist all the time and they usually take time to answer questions.

i thought about that. but its in the same building area as the county jail and that scares me. jails and policeman scare the heck out of me.

im such a fearful person. maybe i could volunteer doing something else. i actually wanna volunteer at petsmart.

Im sorry to hear this junkdna.
I hate when people lie to me too.

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junkDNA: I'm sorry to hear that. When I took psychology in school they told us that suicide isn't normally reported because it causes copy cat behavior, especially in young people. But, it could be if she died of low blood sugar she might have done suicide by overdosing on insulin. It's horrible and scary but it does happen.

i believe the copy cat behavior theory. it would trigger me too.

That's funny Erti! Lol!

thats so funny erti. i remember i did just that. but i drank some liquor and sang the theme song to james bond by adele to my cat sassy. but it wasnt valentines day

Ha, I wish I had funny stories about times I was drunk. Mine involve me stumbling around saying "I gotta walk it off" while friends made me lay down and me disclosing information about my hallucinations. Then again I also have a habit of going around telling my ex boyfriend to **** me and telling every girl I walk by that they were sexy while groping their breast.

i was gonna say i think its illegal to see two doctors at the same time

well i smoke weed and im not supposed to when im in the program and i am afraid of being drug tested. my recovery coach taled to me and investigated me about her death to see if i knew anything. then she said i didnt have to come in to be tested. i am relieved but still scared that they will test me

I don't think it's illegal but you can't get things like Xanax from both...they have a database so they can check...it would be really expensive though...but basically you're just getting a second opinion that's totally legit...

I feel so agitated and anxious. I hate this.

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My rash got worse and people keep asking me what's wrong with my face. My meds give me rashes, but idk what caused papules on my lips. My neurologist told me that it seems to be an allergic reaction to something like food and told me to see my pcp :/

Oh btw, I have all As in my classes and I made several new friends! One of them I knew before my math class and he helps me significantly with my math hw. I'm becoming more social as requested by the pdoc, therapist, and boyfriend. I've been feeling better lately, still have random si urges and mild paranoia, but still pretty good.

Congrats on the A's and making new friends. It's nice to hear some good news .

I've been getting really bad tactile sensations lately, I can't stop feeling bugs crawling all over me while I'm in bed. While I'm wide awake. I think someone is trying to drive me out of my own body like how exorcists drive demons out by dousing them with holy water.

I feel like I complain a lot on here, but the fact is that no one in the real world has a clue. And I know that I'm supposed to tell someone. And if I believed they could help me, I would. But so far all that has done for me is made everyone upset.

Tactile sensations are the worst. Sorry you're dealing with that

I need better calming techniques

Changed my mind.

Has anyone seen a dermatologist before? My neurologist told me that I should see one for my face if it gets worse (which it has). People keep asking me if I'm okay and idk anymore.