Roll Call 21

punkybrewster6k · Apr 08, 2014, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

YEY!

I saw Mum today and she was a bit dopey and in a bit of pain when she moved, but otherwise ok. I'm so relieved! Even seeing my Dad when he got home and hearing that Mum was ok, or seeing her today myself wasn't enough to quieten the noise in my head so I know it's not stress. It's the same volume today too. Also when I was trying to get to sleep, there was a morse code beeping noise in my right ear a bit quieter than the other noise. I don't know who/what they were trying to communicate with though, because I don't know any morse code!

I only had 3 hours sleep (Dad too), so we've been running on adrenaline today, but I don't feel too bad. Should probably have had an early night, but it's almost midnight and I'm still awake. Just realised that I forgot to take my sleeping med cos I only restarted it Sat, and I skipped it last night to stay awake for news of Mum, so I'm not in the habit of remembering it yet :/

Anyway, my favourite brother arrived home from Uni today for Easter break. And it was his 21st birthday yesterday so we put up balloons and banners, and I wrote a birthday message on his chalkboard wall (which is this amazing special black paint that you can put chalk on and wash off) in his bedroom, which was fun. And we went out for a birthday meal minus Mum, though I ate too much cos I squeezed in a mint chocolate sundae for dessert, which was yummy but greedy of me.

Anyway I should probably go to sleep. Max is already passed out and snoring his head off! Thanks again everyone for being so supportive

*Willow*

Glad you got to see your brother and that your mom is okay Willow.
Dont feel bad about a sundae, it was a celebration! Yum!

justmeandmyhead · Apr 08, 2014, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twigg

Are ideas of reference but not full blown delusions a part of psychosis?

What sort of ideas of reference are you having?

punkybrewster6k · Apr 08, 2014, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

20 hours a week. i put that on my application. i hope she saw it.

This...is....great!
So happy for you!

punkybrewster6k · Apr 08, 2014, 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshine1995

Right on junk!! I'm excited for you.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I saw the psych nurse today, yay! They had a cancellation so I was able to get in. I'm gonna stay on the latuda and use risperdal as a as needed med. I was taking an insane amount of doxepin and visteral to sleep and so I can only take 100 mgs of each, and if I'm still not sleeping she added in a strong sleep aid. But that's just until I get my sleep cycle back on track.

She's adamant that cutting the latuda makes them ineffective. I'm taking her word for it.

I'm doing my very best to stay off the blogs and websites that trigger me. I want this organization exposed but I cannot give up my sanity to it. And every time I get involved this happens: I don't sleep, get extremely paranoid, won't leave the house, feel like the world is unsafe. I don't wanna live that way.

Now the problem is gonna be when I'm feeling better I might think I can handle it. I need to fill my time with something positive and productive. Any ideas? I don't drive and the closest bus stop is a mile away. I can't walk that bc of a back injury. I can start walking again though, I just can't go very far.

Any ideas appreciated.

Ahh. Its a conundrum.
I know this well. Yea, stay away from those things because for a while you will feel like your okay but then suddenly you wont be. I know you want to expose them but you cant do it at your own expense. Your health is more important.

wushuduck · Apr 08, 2014, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justmeandmyhead

What sort of ideas of reference are you having?

Too many weird coincidences are happening and have been happening for a while now. Like I find a bible in my house and then put the news on and there's something on about priests and religion. I went to see the psychiatrist today and then on TV and the radio there are things on about mental health. I didn't tell the psychiatrist about my suspicions though as it is quite absurd sounding and embarrassing, I felt I would look stupid if I told her. I don't know, I'm just curious is all. I know they aren't delusions though as there is a logical side to me that says 'of course it's not true', but a part of me thinks it is

punkybrewster6k · Apr 08, 2014, 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

Hey Punky!

How's everything going?

Its going,,,April showers with snow mixed in, so spring is here. The wood stove is too hot but if we let it go out then its too cold. The geese are flying back, the turkeys are mating in our backyard and herds of deer are destroying every living plant in sight. ha ha.

How is everything with you? It gets harder to get on and see how everyone is doing now that I am not cooped up in a little room to stay warm all day. I hope your doing okay.

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 08, 2014, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twigg

Too many weird coincidences are happening and have been happening for a while now. Like I find a bible in my house and then put the news on and there's something on about priests and religion. I went to see the psychiatrist today and then on TV and the radio there are things on about mental health. I didn't tell the psychiatrist about my suspicions though as it is quite absurd sounding and embarrassing, I felt I would look stupid if I told her. I don't know, I'm just curious is all. I know they aren't delusions though as there is a logical side to me that says 'of course it's not true', but a part of me thinks it is

Since you don't want to tell your pdoc I think there is a weight toward the of course it's not true side of things which means you've got a pretty firm grasp on reality. There just plain is a lot of coincidence in life...uncommon doesn't mean impossible. I still think this is more along the line of normal thought than psychosis though....remember the story of that woman on the titanic who pushed a button and thought she caused the ship to sink? The mind has a tendency to see patterns but it's so good at it that sometimes it gets fooled. I think the idea behind this is imagine us out on the African savannah...if you recognize the fact that a certain animal migrates at such a location and time every year it results in you eating and may save your tribe but if before last years migration you did something specific like walk in circles three times you might associate the walking in circles with finding the prey. One of them saves your life and the other is just a minor inconvenience even if it's wrong. So the idea is we evolved in favor of seeing patterns even if they aren't always correct because there is the possibility that it saved some of our ancestors.

So now you end up with people who won't shave during hockey season, wear lucky game day socks or dodge black cats who might cross their path. I don't think any of it is psychosis but I do think that being psychotic increases our pattern recognition or the odds that we believe a certain pattern I'm not sure which.

blackwhitered · Apr 08, 2014, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I GOT HIRED! they sent me an email. they had a medical questtionare and it asked if uve been treated for psychatric conditions and if ur on disability. i had to push yes for both. but it said its just for workers comp stuff. and that it doesnt go to the facility

You go Glen Coco!

I'm going to try to get a job as soon as my sleep schedule is straightened out. I woke up at 4 this morning. Probably because I forgot to take my thorazine and melatonin last night. Oops

blackwhitered · Apr 08, 2014, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twigg

Too many weird coincidences are happening and have been happening for a while now. Like I find a bible in my house and then put the news on and there's something on about priests and religion. I went to see the psychiatrist today and then on TV and the radio there are things on about mental health. I didn't tell the psychiatrist about my suspicions though as it is quite absurd sounding and embarrassing, I felt I would look stupid if I told her. I don't know, I'm just curious is all. I know they aren't delusions though as there is a logical side to me that says 'of course it's not true', but a part of me thinks it is

I think that's normal. I knew a girl who thought she was psychic because she would have weird coincidences, like reading a book and coming across an unusual word, then immediately hear the word in a conversation with someone else. And she wasn't psychotic.
It's basically just confirmation bias and patternicity. Brains are weird.

punkybrewster6k · Apr 08, 2014, 09:50 AM

Ive had this happen too. ...

Sent from my SCH-S720C using Tapatalk 2

justmeandmyhead · Apr 08, 2014, 10:11 AM

I think it starts feeding into psychosis when you think things are confirming delusions and that your getting messages from people/things related to delusions. I could be wrong but I think if you know it's not real it's ok an if you believe it's meant for you it's more psychotic

Apr 08, 2014, 12:57 PM

This is exactly how I have been feeling for a long while now. Some days are worse than others ! Ugh.....

Apr 08, 2014, 01:01 PM

My day sucks!

Apr 08, 2014, 02:00 PM

What's going on cracking?

Apr 08, 2014, 02:04 PM

Well I took the strong sleep aid last night and it didn't do anything.

So four hours later I took what I have been taking and slept about 5 hours.

I called the psych nurse and she said it was ok to take what I took last night. And discard the tamazepam.

It's the latuda keeping me awake but I wanna try and make it work. So many of the other ones cause too much weight gain.

justmeandmyhead · Apr 08, 2014, 02:42 PM

I love procyclidine it makes me feel so relaxed and less tense from the depot

justmeandmyhead · Apr 08, 2014, 02:42 PM

Sorry your having a bad day cracking

Sometimes psychotic · Apr 08, 2014, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

This is exactly how I have been feeling for a long while now. Some days are worse than others ! Ugh.....

You know I have thought this in the past but I realized recently that pretty much everything I love was created, cultivated or constructed by other people. books movies internet....people did all that....and actual everyday people are just an unfiltered form of that...somebody came up with idea of a tree house, windows, and then if you're really lucky a kitchen and bathroom with plumbing. I guess I feel like its my job to contribute to society in some way because I have benefited so much from the collective wisdom of humanity....

blackwhitered · Apr 08, 2014, 06:59 PM

Cracking--

People are difficult. But they're not all bad.

Apr 08, 2014, 08:03 PM

Cracking & Sunshine:

Mum is still doing ok and managed to walk about a little with the physios today. I heard a crying baby today in my bedroom, which I'm assuming was a hallucination cos my nephew wasn't visiting (and it didn't sound like him anyway), and neither of our next door neighbours have babies. Dad hasn't slept for 2 days so I'm worried about him. The noise in my head is quieter today, but still constant. It's annoying! I don't see the GP for a week yet. I'm hoping to attend an ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) course tomorrow, but it's a case of the first people to turn up get in and everyone else is turned away, which I think is silly. So I'm going an hour early to hope that I will get a space. If i do, it's a 4x 2hr session course, but it sounds quite interesting, so I hope I get a place.

Hope everyone else is well

*Willow*

Apr 08, 2014, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

You know I have thought this in the past but I realized recently that pretty much everything I love was created, cultivated or constructed by other people. books movies internet....people did all that....and actual everyday people are just an unfiltered form of that...somebody came up with idea of a tree house, windows, and then if you're really lucky a kitchen and bathroom with plumbing. I guess I feel like its my job to contribute to society in some way because I have benefited so much from the collective wisdom of humanity....

This is what I need to do....

blackwhitered · Apr 08, 2014, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

This is what I need to do....

One of my favorite quotes...

blackwhitered · Apr 08, 2014, 10:16 PM

Punky how is Bean doing?

medicalfox · Apr 08, 2014, 10:26 PM

Does anyone else struggle with motivation like keeping clean (Showering, brushing teeth, ect.)? Four years ago even though I was bipolar I still showered daily and took really good care of myself. Now I find that I have little motivation to do much and that I get overwhelmed easily from my lack of motivation. I was wondering if I will gain my motivation back like what I had years ago or is this symptom part of the schizophrenic spectrum that will stay with me.

On the bright side I did take a shower today and finally washed my hair.

blackwhitered · Apr 08, 2014, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by medicalfox

Does anyone else struggle with motivation like keeping clean (Showering, brushing teeth, ect.)? Four years ago even though I was bipolar I still showered daily and took really good care of myself. Now I find that I have little motivation to do much and that I get overwhelmed easily from my lack of motivation. I was wondering if I will gain my motivation back like what I had years ago or is this symptom part of the schizophrenic spectrum that will stay with me.

On the bright side I did take a shower today and finally washed my hair.

Yes, I struggle with motivation a lot and thought I was just really lazy. But really I get overwhelmed by simple tasks, like hygiene can feel really complicated. For me it's gotten a little better with the Geodon, but this is a first. None of the other meds helped with it.
I think I am always going to have problems with social motivation too because I had negative symptoms all through high school when I should have been developing my social skills...

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