Roll Call 25

U doing ok today newtus?

punky

im very lethargic from meds. sucks.
plus im going to be home alone all day again
with my dad at work. i really hate being home alone. i somehow shifted from loving it to hating it. i still love being home alone its just i hate long periods of time alone. 9 hours a day everyday alone. i dont like it.

and my paranoia wont quit. meds never help that.

Have you tried breathing exercises? So if you breath so your stomach pushes out instead of your chest it can help. Just put your hands on your tummy then breath out to fill your hands...there are more specific techniques but often that alone will help...

Thank you sometimes.
Ive been doing that for days. I just wish it would stop. Its debilitating. It wont stop...

punky

Lethargy will go away as ur body gets used to the dosage. DONT stop taking them or else you will never get used to them and u will always feel like this.

punky

punky i've been dealing with lots of anxiety too. im so ill equipped to deal with it. cuz i dont usually get random anxiety. the part i hate the most is the physical aspects of it. like tight chest and butterflies. sorry ur experiencing it too. i usually just take my seroquel prn and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesnt.

im meeting T at 3. then im going to my moms house (yay). i sent T two emails of old journal entries ( i used to keep a journal online) about my former T. i wrote a lot about former T in the journal when we were still together. i want to process them with him.

feeling ok so far today. off til sunday.

I got into an argument with my brother today. He doesn't believe me when I say that people on the other end of the phone might be imposters posing as the people they say they are. He says it's not possible. It really is though. People can mimic other people's accents. Why doesn't he get it?

I want off this depot. It MUST be possible to have sz and not be on meds like through therapy and positive mindset

It is possible for some.

I've heard it can be and I want to be one of those people. I don't hear voices so I think it should be easier if I could control my thoughts

It's possible, Sometimes psychotic has posted a lot of information about CBT for psychosis so it can be done.

I just want to mention though that just because you don't hear voices doesn't mean it's any easier. Elyn Saks seldom hallucinated but her illness was completely debilitating to her without medication. I don't hallucinate like I did even a year ago, my illness has changed over time. Now I mostly struggle with delusions and thought disorganization like Elyn Saks did. I'm still very debilitated by this illness. Medication is the only thing that's helped me be functional at all. Without them? I'm curled up in my bed moaning about my delusions and not making a particle of sense to anyone else because my thought disorganization is so bad.

Have you had cbt for psychosis----its available in the UK and can teach you to rationally evaluate your thoughts. I found it very helpful...

My main struggle is the delusions, but I feel like since they've gone it's taken part of me away. I feel like this medication is bad for me and that I don't need it.
I'm glad medication has helped you, I think it has helped me too but I feel restrained by it and that I have no choice now that I'm on an injection. I just want to be myself not on anything but not scared. Sorry this probably makes no sense whatsoever

I've asked my cpn about CBT and she said that she would cover some of the techniques with me, but maybe if I had it properly I could use that and not be on meds. I'm very anti medication for myself I believe in the power of mind over matter

Im not feeling suicidal but having intrusive voices telling me ways to do it. I dont think I would do it. Taking prn but im not home in a strange place. Tired and a bit pants tbh

(((hug))) for those struggling right now.....

punky

My ex boyfriend grandmother passed away.

im having voices or intrusive thoughts telling me everything im doing. "she smoking a cigarette now" "now shes getting up" etc

Kava kava helps me a bit. I feel quite relaxed on it and this is coming from someone that is extremely hyperactive all the time. I am a bit drunk but I'm impulsive I really love sedation like benzodiazepines and stuff it's really relaxing... :/

Awww... So sorry to hear this!
Did you know her well?

punky

She lived in Puerto Rico but when I was living with him she came to visit for about a month. She was a nice lady. Couldn't talk to her though because she spoke Spanish only.

Ahh. Puerto Rican grandmas make the best food.....sorry for your loss.

punky

i LOVE Kava.

Newtus--I'm sorry, I shouldn't have went off like that. I'm really sorry.

Everyone-- I apologize for going off like that. I shouldn't have and I was wrong.

What is kava amd where do I get it? I will also look up the B vitamin at the store. Gotta.do something about this.

punky