Roll Call 25

Yeah...the thing about actually going in is you know what it is and how to deal with it in the future. I think had I not gone in I would have either seen it as a place for healing or a place for torture instead of what it really is...

Glad you are feeling better

Thank you I am glad that I'm feeling better too I was really going through a rough time there...
My arm is healing well so far...the scar is a reminder to me,That I need to never let myself go down that road again.

It's not exactly the same but once I was driving when I was upset about something and I ended up turning left on red (you're supposed to to clear the intersection here) even though someone ran the red and hit me...I somehow thought they were stopping...anyway I left the big dent in my car as a reminder not to drive if I wasn't completely calm...

Wow I guess it just goes to show that sometimes we need something serious to happen to show us and help us learn so we don't make those same mistakes again later down the road. When I got back home I was so happy I was hugging my cats and dancing around with them. They were like Ok I gotcha you're happy to be back home now please let me go I'm getting dizzy lol. I need to probably get off of here soon to get myself ready for bed. I need to sleep so I can have energy for my appointment tomorrow We're going to be discussing how I'm doing now that I'm out of the hospital just a general follow up appointment.

I am gonna peel myself away from the computer now so I get enough sleep lol,Goodnight!
I will be back on tomorrow. And I will let you and everyone else know how my appointment went.

Remember, you don't have to sign anything you don't want to sign. You can always walk away. But I think things will go best for you if you are contrite about what happened. Try to see it from their side. Apologize. And make sure they hear you acknowledge what happened and that you understand why they were concerned.

You will be OK Newtus. Because if its got a bunch of stuff in it that u can't live with, you can walk away.

My mind is like a blackened butterfly trapped within a cocoon living endless nightmares trailing down dark hallways feeling the blood stained walls trying to find the light at the end but only finding more darkness.screaming to be heard but only being laughed at in return by the echoing mocking and nightmarish voices that haunt me and watch my every move.

They are always watching me and always mocking me.keeping track of my every move.
commenting on everything I do.

I get my depot today. I hope she lets me lie down this time it really hurt last week standing up

I like your description lillybird it's very vivid *hug*

well its this morning. thank you all for your advice i appreciate it so much!

You got this dear.

punky

im so nervous. i leave in 30 min

Good luck newtus hope it went okay

feeling really anxious lately. not sure why. i dont usually have anxiety. been isolating a lot but don't feel lonely. feel like i want to be left alone. when i get around other people i get irritated. i work today 4 to 8 so only 4 hours then im off for 2 days. really dont want to go to work but i keep telling myself that its only 4 hours and ive done worse before. i told T about how i stayed in bed all day tues and only made it to the living room on weds. that im finding it hard to leave my apartment. he said no wonder you're depressed!!!!! but honestly the isolation is a symptom of feeling sad not the other way around. i felt sad first THEN i started isolating. oh well.

why does time before i have to go to work go by so fast and then time when im at work goes so slow??????? ugh

its over

How can I describe today? Bizarre... Confusing... A twisted reality... On what universe do glass doors just start melting? I didn't get it when I saw it happen and I still don't get it now. I'm not getting any better. I think I'm getting worse.

What happened?

well these are the rules they gave me. if i break them im discharged immediately:

1. i will take any and all psychotropic medications prescribed by my psychiatrist regularly per doctors orders

2. i agree to not make any threats to harm staff or clients

3. i will not reach for anything on my counselors desk

4. i will keep all scheduled appointments

5.i will take responsibility for my own personal mental health needs and comply with my treatment plan

6. i will sign a release of infomation to the clinic to follow up with my psychiatrist on my compliance with medications.

How do you feel about these rules?

So, is taking responsibility now defined as complying?

On the one hand, I hate strong arm tactics. On the other, I have to say you'd probably be better off if you'd stay on the meds and work with your mental health providers. They're probably tired of the back and forth with you, but then that's what they signed on for when they went into mental health IMO. Giving a person a bunch of rules and telling them they're fired from therapy if they fail to comply isn't all that helpful IMO.

I agree wtih this. The system of mental health care in this country is setting people up for failure. If you have someone who is paranoid about meds or being poisoned, that's not their fault if they are scared to take the meds. So this type of tactic is only going to make them feel more scared. It's not helpful.

I agree about everyone needs to learn to be responsible for their care, but you catch more flies with honey, if you know what I mean.

Newtus, your healthcare providers are so smart and good at their job. They should be given gold medals and a huge increase in pay.

Seriously, what they're doing is extremely offensive...

“The road to creativity passes so close to the madhouse and often detours or ends there.”

I need to fix this problem..

That's a really cool quote. I totally feel that way.