Roll Call 45

Katy Perry. It's a shame we dont get the american commercials here though, they are often half the entertainment as the best commercials of the year air then.

100% agreed. Last week was her final chance. She said she would work on the panic attacks FINALLY with me after I begged her. She said, "Just bring in the hand out and we'll go over them together'" So I did. I sat them face up right between us and then she said since Im on an SSRI it wouldn't be necessary. **** HER

The SSRI isn't even working so I have to go through another two weeks of hell now. She should have been on this day one. She wants me to do the work as if I'm not having personality destabilization, delusions, sparks of rage, panic attacks, anxiety and a side effect day at least once a weak where I just am zoned out from the meds.

I've had it! She's done. I hope she treats her next patient with with effective treatments, rather than just sitting on her lazy *** listening and lecturing. One year wasted.

So this mornings topics were Super Bowl and moosolini.......both american....perhaps this plot would be more plausible if you weren't so obsessed with us

She sounds terrible...you deserve better.....I've found the pdocs and T's associated with academic settings are very good...if there is a university hospital you might find someone better there.....

This mornings chat has involved more than those two subjects, and were showing that we can turn a better phrase even on american topics! I got bonhomie into a sentence for pete's sake!

Besides, were a small rebel force, we wont be showing all our cards up front we will wait until the time is right to spring our bon mots!

Maybe you could set up a thread with the most interesting people that you find. People with mental illness or whatever else. Could be good.

Has it occurred to you that there may be more than one plot...

Look at the speed with which roll call is moving.....

Perhaps my true agenda is LOIAL4ROLLCALL46!

I already found a good recommendation for a person that specializes in what I need. It's just a matter if they accept Medicaid. Either way, I'm not wasting my time with this woman any longer. I begged her, BEGGED her to go over panic attack coping mechanisms in session and she ignored it and kept brushing it off.

Touche Ms P, touche

I'm glad you found someone good....great therapy can change your life so much for the better....

that would be great. its just a matter of letting people let me take pics of them and then posting it somewhere. idk how well thatd go over.

im trying hard to establish my blog so i can do something great with it for mental illness. ive done alot of things to prepare it and recently got to be a mental health blog list on a bigger mental illness blog but idk what else to do.

I think if you focus on providing regular updates people will find it....

Hi everyone long time right? I have had SO much going on! I am married now and planning on having a baby when we can, I have been working at car dealer ship doing paper work and answering phone calls, AND my symptoms of schiz have been barely noticeable! Maybe it's because I have been so preoccupied with life in general, And I've been so happy with my Hubby, that my mind is too occupied to go off the hook? anyway just though I would drop by to say Hey!

I'm moving out as soon as I finish my English course.

But I'm pretty sure my dad says he's gonna give me cash so he doesn't have to pay 2000 a month for child support. So he's just tricking me but if that's the case, screw it.

My apartment.. My mom can keep it. Or sell it. What ever. There's no jobs here. I'll probably have to sell it anyways.

I'll move in with my brother or I don't know.

My dad knows this place isn't good for me. I can't be around my step dad. He still comes into the house. I'm not living. I still get abused. They drink all time. All the time. Hypocritical.. Just insane..

I asked multiple times for them to teach me how to drive when I was 16. They didn't because they rather do their own thing and they don't want me to wreck their vehicles bull ****. They're the ones stealing my benzos and driving cuz they're anxious from paying bills that my dad pays for.

My dad asks me if I'm schizophrenic a lot. Or "schizo". I told my dad that if I stay here any longer, I will be. Cuz I'm pretty sure I wouldn't need antipsychotics an hearing voices and having a dramatic change in OCD if I wasn't abused and alone in cold isolation for so damn long?? It's true.

My mom said she would kick me out onto the street if I quit my job. Well I realized I didn't want to be a welder anymore.. That's normal right??

I'm so confused. I wish I could my mind off of these things like normal but I have to sit here alone.

Now I will study..

I'm pretty sure my step dad is just using my mom so he can get Canadian citizenship..
I

Hey it's been forever...good to see you and glad everything is going so well for you!

Thanks I still every once in a while have my moments but it rarely happens now, I have been worried about having a baby though, I know my body will go all hormone crazy and I don't know if that will bring out my schiz or not.

BUT all in all I think I will be fine How have you and everyone else been doing?

I had a mild relapse but it cleared up on a low dose of abilify so I'm back on meds but I feel good you know....it's easier in some ways...i don't have to worry about relapsing.

Music doesn't sound as good without the abilify. I remember getting the chills from music when It kicked in and stopped it because I didn't fully believe that it actually worked.

I shouldn't have took risperidone last night to calm me down. Now I'm foggy headed. I started the abilify again because I don't want to resort to that crap again.

My Lexapro, which I don't think is working, causes personality destabilization. Part of that is me being pent up with anger. Today I'm having one of those days. I can't concentrate on the things I want to concentrate on. I'm pissed at the world. I want to scream and shout! I can't control myself. It's so frustrating. My weekends are sacred to me. It's the days I go to the library and read something that's good for my soul. Yesterday when I tried I felt terrible and came home early only to be an emotional train wreck until I exhausted myself at 7pm, hit a brick wall, and passed out. Today at the library all I could feel was deep rage, and the frustration I have because I can't control it with whatever I try to do. I can't be myself even during the times after I have my anxiety attack each day and before I have my panic attacks each day. I don't know what to do! I'm miserable.

anger is really rough....for me abilify controls it but that's about it. You mentioned switching over, maybe this will get sorted when you get new meds? One thing though I found about reading was I couldn't always do it sometimes I just had to watch a movie or something that made the simple parts of my brain happy.....audiobooks are another compromise...I know it's not optimal but it might help calm you down.

a guy i was in the program with just msged me on FB asking if i know where to get weed

i do but im not gonna tell him

also my hair smells really good

Doesn't the program do drug testing? If so you're doing him a favor...