Roll Call 45

Hell ya it is

You cant let him go flat! Thats it im starting a poll!

I wonder if you could get T to sew him up for you or you could do it together...it might be hugely symbolic like all the healing he's helped you with or something. just a thought....

omg wow that's a really cool idea. thanks i really like that!

i didnt make a self care box. idk what i would put in it.

i dont always talk about what i go through because no one in my life seems to understand. no one is going to know what to say when i talk about my paranoia. my dad will only tell me to take my meds which i already know doesnt help the paranoia anyway. plus in the past when ive talked about depression or self harm or anxiety whatever that isnt schiz-related i got very little to no feedback. my sister and dad have a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality and my mom makes me out to be a weirdo.

yet i struggle to some degree everyday.
ive already learned nothing is goig to go completely away. even on meds. idk what to do because meds takes a little bit away but makes my life hell in other areas. and vice versa - off meds my life is manageable in some areas but hell with the symptoms.

one day im just prob going to kill myself. its just the truth.

First time I've seen the sun shine directly in my window lol

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I hope not....so start making a self care box. It will cheer you up at least a little....if you can't afford it right now then make a list. I recommend coloring books...there is something very calming about coloring.....something good to eat I recommend chocolate but you might put a particularly Interesting vaping flavor. Look for new music to listen to while you're enjoying all this. Books of pictures or photos that you like. Something that smells good....candles oils etc...I have bath salts. What gives you pleasure put it in the box and pull it out when you start to get depressed. It's just nice to pull out a box of fun stuff to play around with and gives you a small lift when you need it.

So here is something I did from my self care box today....it's just straight forward but colorful and I can hang it up in the window to brighten the place up. I know you can draw well but sometimes it's nice to just let your mind be somehere else for a bit.

i guess ill do that. i dont feel up to it right now

Sorry Newtus i didnt mean to imply you just had morning blues overall. What i was tyring to suggest, and which i think is the most important part of dealing with this illness, is to remember that these feelings come and go. You may be feeling particularly low this morning but maybe later in the day something will happen that will change how youre feeling. We all have the power to affect our own moods to some degree and that is crucial in the struggle against mental illness.

There's something weird going on, why are they giving me medication when I'm not sick? Who does that if there isn't anything going on.

At least it's abilify, so I know they aren't trying to poison - because I chose it.

oh. yea i suppose. although these past few days ive been losing my motivation. im just sick of being treated like im not going through things when other people in my real life say 1 thing and people in the family are helping them for a long time.

i honestly think people in my life are tired of me and my problems even though i rarely talk about them openly

Hi everyone! Busy Sunday morning on roll call I see. Trying to catch up! How's everyone doing?

Neil are you going to be up all night watching Superbowl?

Just got a vaper thingy, it's supposed to taste like marlboro... it doesn't, but it seems like an acquired taste! Going to try kick smoking cigarettes on it's arse!

Good luck kicking cigarettes... I was doing really well on patches until my voices got worse & now I'm back to square one again but I know I can get on them again, so I'll be trying to this week.

I wasn't a fan of e-cigs /vaporiser ... ironically they are worse for my asthma than smoking although it might just have been that particular brand of e-cig.

I think it's good to keep trying, I gave up before going cold turkey for about 3 years and that was after a few months of going on and off them. It's not easy, especially with a mental illness, that's what got me back on them.

It could have been the brand, the ingredients vary so much with each brand. Though it's a pity they're not regulated and there's not been much research into them, it's hard to know what you're really getting.

Good luck with trying again!

Hi chicken! Yes, SometimesP has been conspiring against us UKers and has questioned our bonhomie and creativity. I've rebelled and forced her to retreat for the moment, though im sure the unscrupulous devils will be sneaking back out in the dark hours to poke fun at us!

I should be able to watch all of the superbowl. im usually up nearly that late but watch tv in bed away from my computer and rollcall. it normally takes me a few hours to unwind from what ive been doing to get to sleep. N.B. however that if push comes to shove i'll be logging onto rollcall in the wee hours to combat the forces of evil. there are some benefits to being unemployed and obsessive!

Yeah I managed to give up after my psychosis cleared up & it was only because of it returning that I started smoking again. It was the only thing keeping grounded whilst I was waiting for an appointment with the mental health services but unfortunately, that took long enough for me to get fully addicted again.

Mostly I only want to give up for more money, although ofc my asthma is of concern too. Just because it's not making it play up too much at the moment, I know when allergies come into play again it'd be stupid to smoke as if it isn't already really.

Oh and I am feeling very normal today, if it weren't for the voices I'd be basically well. Mostly my mind seems to be functioning properly, clear head etc. Guess the Abilify is doing it's job well. Just have to hope the tiredness doesn't come back too much, seems to come & go at the moment but can be a real deal breaker.

Ive become really interested in the Humans of New York movement/photography.

The whole reason why i liked photography in the first place was because i like taking pictures of people and capturing their life. so im really inspired.

Well I think it's time for a proud Irish republican to bury the hatchet and join forces with our British brethren to take on rollcall and have more interesting conversations than ever before! I'm in!

I'll probably be up late watching it too, I'm not into football but the whole thing is a spectacle of entertainment. Who's doing the half time show?

Yes I love that as well.....

I'm firing my psychologist. I asked ffor her help on [anic attacks during pur sessions and she ignored it this session. Panic attacks have been a recurring event in my life, they are chronic and severe and all she wants to do is sit on her but and listen to me talk about them rather than give me ways to cope like I begged her. I need Panic attack coping strategies, CBT and DBT and she ignores all my suggestions and would rather just listen to how my week went. I have given her one year of my time. She had her chance. I'm finished with her. She's fired.

sorry to hear that. its prob time to find another one

Humans of New York

hello, I used a book called "when panic attack" by david burns. It's life saving. You should try.