Roll Call 52

Psychiatrist says that once I apply for disability, it's for life so they don't need to be checking on me every couple of years. It's permanent until I say so. Yay Canada?

Btw I don't care about the world or humanity.

I would steal a lot more from the government if I could.

Spend it on cuban cigars.. more money for that country..

Also I quit smoking right now because my last pack of the carton and my 30 dollar lighter got misplaced by the nurses. I planed to do it when I get released.

I really like puffing and inhaling a bit from cigars though.

You and I have that in common, heh.

Cigars are awesome, by the way. Lol.

Hi guys! Hope you're all well!

Well I saw my psychiatrist today. She said she doesn't want to give me labels. She said I could have OCD but she believes that it's most likely my psychosis that's making me check the door handle five times and check my purse five times. She claimed it's a part of the paranoia associated with psychosis. I don't think it's my psychosis though. I think it's definitely OCD.My dad thinks it's OCD. My mum thinks it's OCD. I mean I have the thoughts that I could get burgled and the only way to relieve myself of the scary thought is to do the action five times. The same with the thought that I could embarrass myself in public with being short on money. The way to relieve this scary thought is to check my purse five times before leaving the house. It just doesn't seem like psychosis to me. But at the same time I'm no professional and neither are my family.

Ah, they're just human. You can't blame them!

Just watched a compilation of those American 'Meth: not even once" commercials. Scary as hell, are they being over the top or is meth really that bad? Don't know much about it, it's not very popular over here.

I would avoid meth if all possible.

If you look at people's mugshots they become progressively more hideous with each arrest, other than that I don't know.

well i saw my baby dino and 2 people at my school one kid named Bretten and one teacher Mr.Stevens both laughed right in my face and kept saying nope dino are dead!!!!!!!!! i cried and cried cause he is real my baby stegosaurus is REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi folks.

Stopping my stimulant for 3 days is what a nurse mentioned to me to see if my motivation is schizophrenia or ADHD. Fine.. I'll do it.. but they better give it back because I NEED to do my English course and have it done in two months.

Actually no. I'm not doing it. I don't see the point. My injection was wearing off at the same time my stimulant changed so no wonder my focus and motivation symptoms went down and with negative symptoms.

A few hours after the shot, I feel a bit better and more motivated. So it's the Abilify.

Case closed.

- Tweaky

I keep re-watching this video...there's a bunny a chicken and one of those human offspring people seem to like so much.....

http://i.imgur.com/TBG8xsL.gifv

I had to call an ambulance for my mom a little while ago, she couldn't breathe.

Oops guess I did the trigger thing wrong

I'm so sorry bluebird....

sorry to hear bluebird
makes me really sad
im saying prayers

They wont let me have my phone because I wasn't going to groups because I was UNMOTIVATED and COULD NOT PAY ATTENTION TO SESSIONS OR SIT FOR AN HOUR.

Why is no one listening to me?? These labels should be useful for something..

My negative symptoms got worse so they punish me for it.

I CANT. I can't control my negative symptoms.

I don't care about my phone. I'm not going to groups again. I want to slap on the highest dose for all 3 disorders and be left alone. I should be able to do it that way without judgement. I'm not a danger to myself or society.

I hate that what I just wrote is apart of schizophrenia. I NEED people to help me with taking care of myself because I told my pdoc that I'm starting to not care anymore. Then I think the complete opposite.

There will be war.

I want to leave. This isn't a palace when I've been here for two months. It's prison. They get *****y when I don't go to a group and rub it in my face. **** you! It's NOT in my control. The nurses rub it in my face. They hate their jobs and act like it too.

Also, sorry to hear about your mom blue bird. I can only guess how you feel and even that is ten times less.

You're both in my prayers too, bluebird.

Tweaky, I don't know what to say, but

I want you to get better, I want you to feel better.

Yes this is definitely true. Heh.

I know what you mean. **** hospitals, seriously. I don't go unless it's an absolute last resort. They're all ****ing incompetent losers who for the most part don't even do their ****ing jobs.

I never went to groups that often when I was hospitalized either. They thought this was me being a non compliant mental patient when DUH, part of my diagnosis means I don't exactly want to sit around with a group of people for an hour or whatever. I just want to be alone with my thoughts when my schizophrenia flares up. I don't talk to anyone, nor do I want to.

I hate hospitals.

Thank you everyone, I guess its a good thing I see my therapist tomorrow . This may sound silly but me and my mom were planning on having a pizza party with this free pizza coupon we got and watch movies and have popcorn and candy this Saturday, I guess we'll have to do it another day. I just love her so much I wish things could go back to normal before all these hospital admissions

The rest of the day went better. My kids being home helps a lot with my moods.

i always went to group in hospitals.
know why?
at my hospitals if you didnt goto group you didnt get out.