Roll call 55

my mom says im too reserved thats why i dont make friends.

I'm sick, also.

I can't take this they need to leave me alone I can't stand it it's never safe you don't know who's on their side I just can't live like this

Made the switch to Android today, getting my new HTC M8S on Friday... Been an iPhone head since the iPhone 3. I'm scared!

In other news I'm really sick of being on this depot and having to go get it. I was told I'd only be on it short term and it's nearly been a year since I started getting it. I know I'm a hell of a lot more stable now on it but still, my cognitive abilities are horrendous now. I used to be quite bright and quick, now I can barely hold a conversation in real life. I'm good at talking on here because I can think about what I'm going to say and take time to delete what I don't.

I know Schizophrenia is a chronic condition that required meds for a long if not indefinite time but does anyone here with a predisposition to psychosis and a history of psychosis, without schizophrenia, know how long they've been or are going to be on meds?

I don't have a sz dx I've had 2 breaks----I've been sick for 4 years now around 3 of those have been on meds. Typically they give you a med free trial if you have been stable for 1-2 years, I don't think you've been stable that long but maybe when you are they will give you a trial off meds?

When I bring up getting off my shot my doctor changes the subject or doesn't say anything, I've asked how long people are on it and she said likely indefinitely

What do you mean by stable anyway? My interpretation of stable is not ending up in hospital. Last time I was an inpatient was November of last year, but I have had some episodes since then. 1-2 years seems like a long time on meds, especially seeing as I want to go back to college this year. If I had my way I'd just go off them but they told me they'd discharge me back to my GP if I go off the depot, not sure if that's fair as I do depend on their support when things go south.

Stable is no symptoms at all in this context. I had maybe 2 hallucinations in a year but no episodes for the 2 years before I tried and importantly the failure rate is high----I was fine for 9 months off meds but then relapsed now they think I'll be on meds indefinitely so you want things to be optimal for the 1 time you get to try to go off.

but i have a doubting feeling at my clinic theyd give me a trial off meds. do they even give these "trials" to people on medicare/caid. because those are goverment aid programs saying youll be disabled for so many years to life.

Now it kicked in. I didn't expect it to be this motivating and focused.

My metabolism is fast I think. I'm on like the max dose of everything. I had 2 Tylenol OD's to add. Jeezz I'm still alive for some reason. Heavy alcohol abuse, cough syrup overdose while on an SSRI, Apparently the doctor said I'm fine physically. Always going outside, walking the hallways so my muscle doesn't deteriorate o.O She gave me a hep B shot and before I left, she was going to do another shot but meh I'll remind my mom.

Most empathetic and sympathetic woman that I've ever met. Really good doctor and gave me advice for when I left. She told me to go on Vyvanse because it's covered and Concerta isn't. She said she would treat me as one of her children and tried to find income from the ADHD society or something to cover Concerta but my mom knows how to do that. My mom knows that I'm very dependent on stimulants physically and doesn't want me to go back to where I was in life. The doctor liked that I'm really trying to have a good life, education, good job that I can handle without wanting to kick the crap out of stupid coworkers and she told me to ask the psychiatrist for assured income and he said yes before even thinking about it. She said it will help me get a better start in life which is good.

im on medicare/medicaid and i got off my shot. but i take the invega pills now. i was on a shot for around 2 years

Today has been a better day. I feel like I'm treading water rather than drowning so that's a plus.

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I did weigh myself and I've officially put on 10 lbs since starting zyprexa back in February 2014. Adding the haldol and ambien hasn't helped either. Ugh. Thankful I'm still in the healthy range but I can't do 10 lbs every 15 months.

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I doubt it---it's not common in the US my pdoc was working off the British model. Most of the people on medicare/medicaid would have ssi/ssdi and have already passed the 1-2 year period with symptoms which suggests that they wouldn't be stable off meds. Basically they are trying to separate brief psychosis from sz when they take you off the meds so none of this really applies if you already have an sz diagnosis.

Wow, I don't feel like I'll ever be 2 years with no symptoms. Though I was for about 6 years, maybe more, and then relapsed. It's a horrible feeling looking into the future and thinking this could all come back. I want to have kids some day and I was thinking of trying when I'm two years symptom/hospital free, I don't want to bring kids into this World with a parent who gets as delusional as I do sometimes. They did tell me I wouldn't be on meds for a long period of time though so that's hopeful. I'll talk to my nurse about it tomorrow when I go for my depot and I'll let you know their stance on stability and trials off meds.

Thanks for your input sometimesp!

EDIT: Yeah this doesn't really apply to people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia or schizoaffective. More so for the poeple with psychosis NOS type diagnoses

Good to hear you had a better day, I love your analogy. Keep your head above the water maybe tomorrow will be even better!

i got off my shot too and am on the pills but what about being med free?

ah i see. which is slightly what i supposed. i remember you saying your doc worked off the british model too. its a shame there cant be more pdocs like that.

It's in the eyes I can tell, you will always be danger
We had it tonight, why do you leave it open?

its in the eyes I can tell you there'lll always be danger..

**** what is said on a daily basis through the medium of anti ****ing everything everyone just going forward making nothing an coming back with nothing. Live a life you will remember. The nights that never die. I'm going to go down to the bike yard and burn things with bigger things and create some

i got my answer junkdna. thank you!

I'm sorry. ((hugs))

There is some data that suggests that people with sz do better off meds in the long term but they will relapse much more in the short term off meds which could be deleterious but really we're talking 1 or 2 studies there need to be a lot more before anyone endorses a model with pychosis being caused early on.

I'm struggling to lose weight, between the meds and bad eating habits I have it's been difficult

yeah, i forgot u did that. im not sure about med free. my guess is that ssdi wouldnt really like that. they want to see that u are very sick and in proper treatment for it. as for me, i would like to be med free one day. but honestly i dont know how feasible that is

Started using splenda in my coffee