Roll call 55

My Pdoc was like take these when you need them.

That's not how you take Klonopin asshole. They are more preventative. And then I'm twelling him whats going on in the mornings and he's like benzos vbenzos benzos. **** him. I think its akathesia again. He has no ****ing clue what he's ddoing, besides adding illness after illness to my to my list already. I wouldn't have panic attacks for th rest of my life if he would listen. I wouldn't have bipolar either. ARGHHHHHHHHHH

When I was having suicidal plans due to panic attacks you done say PRN for klonopin. ****ing idiot.

same here. exactly. i wouldnt think ssdi would like to see that. and i would like to be med free but idk how that be.

you doing ok?

Splenda, Sucralose ..

I was using like around 30 of those sweeteners per day for my coffee at the hospital.

OMFG I suggested my PDoc put me on BusPar 3 times. I said I didn't want Klonopin. I need a long term solution, and he just said Nah. **** him!

I cant feel pleasure anymore. I now have bipolar because my PDoc didn't listen to me and thought it would be best to go back on the SSRI. I have no libido for some reason. I have panic attack disorder and anxiety disorder because my pdoc didn't listen to me when I said I didn't think it was a good idea to up the dosage if it isn't making any effect at all. He wants me on Lithium which would mean I couldn't work outside in the sun or do heavy work, so I would have to be jobless and possibly homeless. His only solution for anxiety is Klonopin. I have akathesia right now. I saw him for 2.5 years and this is where I am with him. Not to mention I curl up in the fetal position every night due to suicidal depression on top of what I've already listed. That's as calmly as I can put it. My life is ****ed.

Sounds like my old psychiatrist but worse. Way worse.

Do you think he's empathetic towards you or he just doesn't give a *?

My psychiatrist in the mental hospital was paying attention to me and made eye contact which my old psychiatrist did but I didn't want to make eye contact when he's ********ting me.

It's important to have a basic relationship because if you don't like the psychiatrist for some reason, you're not really going to listen to what he/she has to say..

That's what my psychologist said so..

Do I think he is empathetic? I politely asked him if there was anything we can do with my anhedonia. I can't feel any pleasure its frustrating me. I want to feel something besides agitation, frustration, depression, confusion and hopelessness. He then asked, "Well how many times do you want to feel pleasure a day?"

--I don't know, twice a day?

--he sits back in his chair with eyes wide open and says, WELL THAT's A LOT!

**** him.

omggggg
**** him.

Finished reading the History Guide. Finally, it was hard to get through but I did it. I guess I understand some of it.

Now to take a break and read my book or play a game

so much cussing going on today

It's because I'm at my wits end and should probably go into the inpatient.

to all who need them

This is my favourite MH book that I've read and I really related to it.

I read The Quiet Room several years ago, before I read Saks' book. I remember thinking it was good, but I don't remember relating to it as strongly as The Centre Cannot Hold, but it was YEARS ago now so I can't really remember a lot of it. I remember she got restrained a lot, but that's about it.

I will have a look for Welcome Silence; not heard of that one. I read Dark Threads by Jean Davison, which is the horrendous story of an 18yo British woman in the 1960s or 70s who was having an existential crisis and got misdiagnosed with sz (she had no hallucinations or delusions or anything - I have no idea wtf those pdocs were thinking?!) and lost 5 years of her life to psychiatry before she could escape. It is a truly awful story, but well written if anyone fancies reading it.

My Mum has had fibromyalgia for 15 years. Have you heard of the Spoon Theory? My mum found it helpful to think about pacing and to explain to others. It's a controversial diagnosis here - and is the diagnosis that the pdocs wrote in my notes is 'made up' without even meeting my mum.

The Govt here want to make it mandatory to be in treatment to get disability, which I think is wrong. The med debate is simple in principle, but hard in reality: which is worse? Personally I don't think we only get 'one shot' to be med-free, regardless of diagnosis: it's our body and we can do what we want with it!

I think meds get pushed so much because they are easier to dish out and cheaper than therapy/learning coping skills, but they're not the only solution. Sometimes I think pdocs deliberately taper too fast so people can't cope, think they're relapsing and go back on meds; continuing the stranglehold psychiatry and the medical model have on mental health care. Either that, or a shocking number are completely incompetent!

*Willow*

I know it can't fix anything but if it melts your heart for one small second...

My prescription is reddit aww...

The cutest things on the internet!

i think the fbi is watching me.
not kidding.
i got it now.
they are prob keeping tabs on me.

^ I used to think that


It got so bad I became suicidal because I was convinced they were watching me and were going to accuse me of doing something, idk what just some kinda thing I didn't do and lock me up for the rest of my life or something.

I doubt it now, and even if they were watching me for some reason, I honestly don't care, go ahead watch me

i really think they are watching me now more than ever and im turning a bline eye to it and they know it and they are taking advantage of that AND me.

im trying to go to sleep but its harddddddddddddddddddd

He's an ignorant butthole.

weird things happen at night. im at half price books. its 9pm and the cashier talked me up way more than when i come in the daytime. hes transexual. than i saw someone looking like they were getting head in their drivers seat.

My thoughts are so unorganized. I hope it doesn't get worse like word salad. Right now the high dose Vyvanse helps a lot and the abilify helps it from progressing long term I guess. A woman with word salad talked to me and I didn't have a clue as to what she said. I waited for her to finish talking and then left because she never stops. She would randomly cry or laugh in the hallways. I asked her if she was ok and she stopped crying and laughed which made me paranoid. I hope that the Abilify will prevent it from happening long term.

So many people there made like relationships. I did too made a few friends but people keep crossing the line saying I'm amazing or something to get me to talk.

They get stuck in lust and all I wanted was for the relationship feeling to go away for them but It's a drug being released Oxytocin love chemical or something but I don't like the feeling. On an SSRI, you can hate sex while for others, it makes them sex addicts or what ever.

One woman said that she loves me and will be back for me and we never talked before after she made out with my roommate in front of me just before that lol. Kept staring at me while waiting for my psychiatrist. I asked if she was ok and then I left because I can't handle that weirdness. If I stare at a girl that I like, they always catch me.

That girl that told the other girl that she's a ***** for always talking to young guys. I knew it was obvious before she even said hi but I was bored. She said I was good looking which creeped me out because usually I only get compliments when I'm with friends just cam chatting.

hope your ok tweaky

i need my ambien now along with my other meds

Have the not given it back to you yet?

no they have. i have a few extra pills left in fact.

i wanna go wild but i shouldnt