Roll call 55

morning all.
eating a chicken tamale.
didnt binge eat last night or do anything stupid on ambien.
having coffee with my chicken tamale dipped in hot sauce. im so mexican american. lol

I'm putting on weight. I'm not real happy about that. I think it's the zyprexa but I'm afraid to stop taking it. My pnp suggested Abilify.

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Quote:

"I sit at the gates for all rogues and ask: Who wants to deceive me?
This is the first instance of my human prudence, that I let myself be deceived so as not to be on guard against deceivers."

I rather like abilify-----it's one of the better tolerated meds and you might even lose weight on it.

I'm sitting out on my patio, which has become my favorite place. It's quiet and I can just look at the trees. There's curly tail lizards running around the tree named Molly, and Frieda is just a skeleton after being zapped by lightning. But Frieda, with her broken branches, watches over all the plants that I've neglected, and they're doing strangely well.

I don't get a hangover from it but everyone's different. Or, I guess when I fall asleep I have to wake back up again.

I loved all the lizards running around when I lived in Florida!

Eye appointment as well this morning cuz my pupils are so dialated like a cartoon.

Hope everythng goes well.

I'm fond of lizards too. I've never been in love with florida, but I'm getting better at liking it.

my dads back off to work.
bored today. must find something to do.

it flooded again today. rained alot. i can only hope it stops in june.

update on me since i havent in awhile.
voices are mainly gone. paranoia is mainly gone. im only having anxiety from daily stressors. my anger is a bit out of whack but i think its from daily stressors. overall im doing pretty good so thats why i dont have much to say about myself. depression is not here.

everyonce and awhile ill get paranoia and voices flariing up when stress flares up and it can get bad but not how it was.

my only real concern is cognitive dysfunction. i think thats from the meds. i cant think straight and have a hard time understand people and thinking correctly and processing things. etc. its gone downhill quite a bit. i wish this wasnt so. but overall i might be on the road to recovery. to some extent anyway. but cognitive dysfunction is not entirelt recovery to me. but...i need to do school and its getting in the way of me doing it.

Guess who's getting a kindle?! Yay

Up to 80mg of Celexa for agoraphobia

Over twice the max dose

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Cartoon like pupils are from the 6mg/day of Cogentin.

Not permanent though.

Do you mind me asking what tips she gave you? I have a similar problem with ambien.

i saw T he told me to take invega prns. i told him abut the voices. hes going away now to his brtheres wedding. he said he ight be back on tueday. so maybe we can meet again then. i had a hard time taking my prn. the voices were mad. they are softer now though and i am at my moms for the night

I might consider it for my next appointment.

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I hope you'll feel better soon.

thank u i am feeling bit better than before they were yelling at me a lot bc i took the med. thats what they do they get really mad. but its ok right now. im afraid T is mad at me bc i told him i cant take the prn because id otn want them to yell an dhe texted back take them . i know hes busy driving n stuff so i am gona leave him alone. i hope the voices go away soon they are more just like muffled right now so thats better than before. im so dumb for not putting it in my strips.....but T says it was a mistake and its ok. and he says i havent heard voices in a year. he says that is progress. he was very nice to me today we played cards or at least i tried and i sat on his floor and played with his rocks and silly puddy and we just talked and then at the end we washed his tea cups in the bathroom. well he washed them i just stood there and he said thanks for your help ...lol..cuz i didnt do anything.

anyway im rambling im with my mom. things seem ok right now thanks for your reply

I'm not feeling well right now. I feel like i'm in the beginning of a panic attack. I have that overwhelming feeling. I took 2mg of Klonopin. My doctor said take 3 and a forth one if you need it. Plus the Lithium is suppose to help.

I keep on dwelling on negative thoughts and people. Panic symptoms are like a magnet that feeds on your weaknesses. I'm going for a walk. Maybe that will give me some relief...

Take care everyone

I'm not looking forward as to how I'm being treated. The line under one of my posts was after I seen my psychologist so he explained a bit He said that my new psychiatrist wants to do something about the "liking of the stimulant".

2 weeks? One week.. Nope 2 weeks.. thought amphetamine says in the system for like 4 days. What about the Concerta? It's the perfect stimulant and not giving me episodes. I was drinking coffee and apparently on alcohol and clonazepam I don't remember.

Seems like a battle of insane miscommunication so I just stole the bottle of Concerta from my mom. I believe that they won't prescribe it anymore. Oh wait that already happened..

I have absolutely no faith in this. Cogentin decreased means that the abilify gets more side effects undercover and is shown even worse because of the Prozac.

Do you have OCD? Is one of your obsessions medications and illicit drugs?

Ya I find it really interesting.

I thought idk I can't think anymore