Roll call 55

a glass of wine

i guess being off from school could let me get some philosophy reading in.

i wonder if i should take a philosophy class in the fall or not.

take my history class for me lol

i would if i could. it would give me something to do lol

whats everyone doing tonight? im thinking about playing some xbox and watching the billboard awards.

I'm watching Naked and Afraid. These two are another that don't get along.

Learning how to post images on reddit in a nice quiet sub....also learned about flair well a little bit anyway.

Oh and I napped earlier and had a creepy dream.

I do this too, Junk. I feel like if I can think of a situation, it's less likely to happen.

Pretty unstable from being off risperdal. I'm just 100% done with everything.

Today was good! Caught two fish but had a good time. In the morning I'm going to another lake.

I got upset and this is obviously not a delusion. The fact that my step dad is bossing her around and thinking that she is stupid. She's so nice and just wants everyone to be happy. Very smart. Became a nurse and then finished law school. Just the way I observed with my dad is that my step dad is just being with her for someone younger later and will leave her as soon as he can gets Canadian citizenship.

I could have banned him from Canada forever if my mom manipulate me with my lack of knowledge about stuff like that.

She says that she is ok with him doing that. Kicked in the chest with a steel toed boot knowing she has a heart condition and more that they are not telling me.. She used to be in control. Now she has completely no control.

@Chicken, yes. I smoked crack cocaine in a mental hospital. Lel just on the side side while getting better. I always liked when the cops were after me because it gave a good anxiety. I knew I wasn't going to get high from coke either because it's like the same as ritalin in my experience.

Vyvanse is ok.. Still can't focus much. .. Then my mom gave me two Concertas and it's like 5 times better.

My step dad started driving when my mom tried to close the door. I'm sure that's a clear sign that he doesn't want her. Like complete disrespect. "used to be suicidal on the NRT".

No it was probably the guilt of what you did by destroying my family eating away at you but honestly idk.

My stay for the night then I do more fishing and go home.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Seeing my pdoc before my exam. Going to be a rush but cpn wants me to see him asap. I better not miss my exam

good luck for both Justme!

So Tweaky, you were abusing stimulants and benzo's leading up to your hospitalization and then abusing crack cocaine during your hospitalization. Did your doctors know?

6am (: I took 100mg Seroquel instead of 50mg because I wanted to make sure I won't wake up in the middle of the night or something.

I feel great! Motivation as well. I guess it's just the fact that I'm in my own hotel room alone.

I didn't really care because I know they wouldn't take away my meds so when the psychiatrist asked me what happened, i just said the truth that I was bored and it was wearing off too quickly... So I double dosed when it wore off then just abused. They don't really pay attention.

With the benzos, I don't have much experience with it so I accidentally overdosed.

Cocaine was ok. Crack cocaine was stupid. I have no craving for these things and just wanted to try it.

Now I plan on not abusing my meds anymore which I have been doing for 4 months.

my mom called me last night from work saying she has vertigo and nausea so i had to go get her. im at her house now. im taking her to the doctor soon

morning.
i feel a bit of anxiety. like i do every morning.
watching the news.
hows everyone?

hope shes ok junk

I hope she'll be fine, junk.

Hi newtus and everyone. I slept a few hours, had a dream I don't remember, and got up before 8 am. Yay!

Hi all!
I had vertigo and nausea for 2 days. Invega was changed to Latuda. I also have a taste for cigarettes...I'm a nonsmoker so it's not so difficult to ignore that urge. Did I mention how much I hate this life. I am a taxi for my kids and a stay at home mom. I am on my own schedule so things get done when I'm good & ready. Doesn't always work for others. My husband gets frustrated although he doesn't say it. I don't have the Fire in me like before. Nothing motivates me!

Hi Zeus123, I have problems with motivation too.

Well had my exam and I think it went okay. I wrote down everything id prepared.
Saw my pdoc this morning and told him what's been going on and got everything off my mind. He's upping my dose of invega. He also agreed that my diagnosis is schizophrenia not delusional disorder so it's good that he actually listened to me. I feel a bit weird about it but it makes sense and fits with everything. Hope the increased dose helps cos I'm struggling.

Thanks neil your luck worked