Roll Call 62

just got my new camera in the mail. im taking photos!

it made me cry too!

I've never seen that show

Just surfing YouTube, about to make some tea. I'm bored, I get restless and agitated at night lately I don't know why.

Maybe the change in daytime/nighttime sun? Also maybe your diet?

i got mad at T before work because of something he texted me. it was regarding group and carpooling with another member bc we live near each other. i told him i thought he understood i have major social anxiety and paranoia. i kinda told him i was gonna quit group. i overreacted. i apologized and asked if he was mad at me . he said he isnt mad. i said im sorry i am a freak and he said youre not a freak. but i feel like a freak. i really do.

it feels so good to lay in my bed under my covers. toby is here and moosolini is here... this is where i want to be

I kind of drift in and out of this place. When I'm feeling those thoughts I come back when I feel better I run away. Guess how I'm feeling! Everything is going great in my life but I'm getting thoughts again. Some paranoia and delusions creeping in also some thoughts of self harm. Like I don't feel that I'm depressed or anything. Everything is great I just have these thoughts and they swirl.

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Just had an appointment with my GP to get the results of my blood tests. They were fine but I was interested to note he thought I had schizophrenia. I corrected him saying my psychiatrist thinks it's just drug-induced psychosis. I think the reason why is I have "possible schizophrenia" down on my record from a couple of years ago. I wonder how long that'll stay on my record, might be following me around for a while even if I don't get worse again...

morning

watching the pope on tv

hey guys. I'm loving being in my pajamas still, which is unusual. My whole self is sore, and I was oddly tired yesterday evening. I kept falling asleep in the hallway at my daughter's dance class.

Junk, I hope you feel better today. I love snuggling with my cats too. Holly is coming with me to "work" today at the shelter. She is looking forward to sitting and petting all the kittens for 4 hours.

Blue Bird, you reminded me that I was thinking about tea last night before I passed out. I think I'm going to try to find my grandma's recipe for her seasonal tea, since today is the first day of fall. If I find it, I'll post it in the Holiday thread.

SometimesP, I hope you get to see your boyfriend soon, I know it's tough to be hindered by conflicting schedules.

I feel your pain with your tooth, Loial. I get that often and don't get it checked out. So therefore I recommend having it checked out, since what I do for myself is rarely what I think is the right response.

Tweaky, are you feeling at all improved from yesterday? You are so smart, I can't imagine that your mom having control of your independence as keeping you from accomplishing your goals.

I just ate half a sandwich but I feel ravenous. I guess I'll see if it keeps up, and if so maybe I'll have some leftover fries or chips. I'm tired and stressed out about my prescriptions and having to go back to that pcp just to get my prescriptions written. It's such a scam, forcing people to keep coming back. I don't know what to do and my teeth are hurting.

What do they do when they have you come in to see your pcp? I know that most docs wont prescribe a med if it's been over a year of having seen a patient. But if you've been in recently, do they do bloodwork or something to try to justify making you come?

im feeling a lot of anxiety right now. i can just feel it in my core.

Yes, he wants me to have more blood work. But they make you come in every 3 months just for prescriptions (sooner if you're on pain pills or benzos) and then they ask you why you're there, as if it isn't obvious. I hate that place with every fiber of my being. Sorry, Door!

I can understand your hatred. It seems that they make you feel like you're having to jump through hoops to get the help you need, then in return are very cold and asinine towards you.

Yes. And incompetent. Horrible healthcare. It costs me nothing but they're probably billing my insurance an obscene amount of money every time I go there.

I agree, my sister was working in litigation for state farm until recently, and she said that doctors very often try to milk insurance companies. Some even put down charges for treatments not given. Although Florida is probably right there at the top for insurance fraud.

I'd love to see what they're billing insurance for. It would be enlightening. You don't even get to see a doctor at that place, they're all nurse practitioners. Some people don't mind that but ever since the one that forced me cold turkey off benzos I don't trust any of them.

The current one didn't even think to test me for thyroid issues. I had to ask, and then get more blood drawn and indeed I am hypothyroid again. I look hypothyroid - thin hair, heavy, exhausted, etc. And it never occurred to him to add thyroid to the blood test.

Bored today, hmm.

Hi Falcon! good to see you. Sorry about the boredom. Do you get to drive around at all?

Maybe you could contact the insurance to ask them to verify that the charges are legit?

Not really, ha. Not much to do today at school, just finished an english essay.

I'm about to go "do this thing," at the shelter. It's been great getting to talk to y'all today.

i dont want to be alone today