Roll Call 63...

I only have 23.

I doubt that I'm a good one to comment on the subject of laziness versus avolition, having not experienced the latter. I think it's always going to be hard to decipher between the two because they are so subjective to the person. Personally, I'm lazy. That's like a personality trait that I have to overcome. Certainly avolition as a side effect of psychosis or medication will take a person's normal desire, motivation and fire and throw ice on it. I think the important thing is that folks do what they are able to do. Everyone has a different threshold and ability to cope with what they've been given biologically. So it's important to give encouragement to try to overcome obstacles to motivation, but at the same time give room if they aren't overcome so easily. <backs away slowly>

i saw T today. he said i have regressed into old patterns of anxiety and fear. he asked what caused it and i had to say i dont know because i really dont. im sure there is an underlying cause but i cant figure it out yet. i want to get out of this mind state and just be an adult and do things i dont want to do. there are tons of things piling up on me, little things like calling business and getting a doctor. honestly phone calls give me tons of anxiety even before this. so with the added anxiety it just seems insurmountable. after i left T i called the dr i had been looking at to make an appointment. the lady said they arent accepting new patients. i am pretty bummed about that because it took a lot to make that call. now i have to find another doctor and call them. at the end of the session T asked me if i thought maybe i am subconciously sabotaging myself so i dont lose my disability. i said what do you mean, by being sick? he said yeah. i felt a little offended by that. i didnt create this to get out of something and i am not trying to scam people. honestly in my mind i dont feel like i deserve disability. i told him that. he said well i think you need it. i understand he was just asking me a question but that kinda bothered me.

Me too. I gained 60 pounds on Geodon and then went right into another 40 pounds gained on Abilify. I stopped Abilify a year ago and have lost 34 pounds, without doing anything different diet/exercise wise. The meds feck you up, no doubt about it. Haldol is what I'm on now, and it is not making me gain, thank goodness.

I think it's thoughtless to call people lazy in this forum, especially when you haven't got the same illness they have. And you can't go travelling around Europe no matter what illness you have if it's flaring up. I'm sick of being blamed for things I can't help or change. The last place I should be encountering those attitudes is here in this forum.

This might be her case that she adds every single acquaintance. And yes she moved but she moved 30 min down the road?

I guess i see friends in a different light i suppose. She IS disabled...shes got spina bifida. she says she does nothing but ive seen her goto special events for her disability and she went water skiing and to camp etc. So im still confused by what she says and what she actually DOES.

I run into that a lot too, people who say they have this or that disabling disease and then they're out and about constantly. I don't understand it either.

I don't see anyone calling anyone lazy.....

On a lighter note...... my art book is coming today. Can't wait to get started drawing!

i personally told her i think shes stronger than what she makes herself out to be but she says no. so idk. ive tried to up her spirits about herself and help her but she just doesnt think shes strong.

i mean id like to think even im strong willed or minded with MY mental illness. so i tried to like slightly push her into thinking she can do it. well...looks like shes already doing it and doesnt think shes strong willed. although when she complains to me about having having no friends i get sort of agitated by that or frustrated. because shes out at bars and poetry clubs every once and awhile and thats still in between her camps and water skiiing and etc. so idk what to think.

Yes, I guess self perception can be a lot different from reality. She perceives herself as weak yet she's strong enough to do what a lot of other people can't. I was so much stronger when I was young as far as what I could do physically but I never really thought of myself as strong, just that I did things because I had to, like moving across the country alone when I was 22.

Edit: When I did that, I had not accepted any diagnosis at that point and I did everything because it was a matter of bare survival. It's amazing what you can do when it feels like a matter of life or death.

i am a lazy person but i have suffered from no motivation. to me they are different feelings. lazy for me is dont want to do anything. no motivation for me is want to do things but just find that i can't.

McDonalds started serving breakfast all day starting today but they won't serve hashbrowns after the regular breakfast time

have u had taco bell breakfast?

I didn't know they had breakfast until recently, never had it. Do they have good stuff?

i don't know, i've never tried it... they also opened a taco bell that serves alcohol

I looked it up

Here's a look at Taco Bell's first alcohol menu - Alternative Press

Those drinks would be great on a summer day. I would get Baja Blast freeze with tequila

That's sad hashbrowns are the best....

That's here!

Is it possible that risperidone could have increased my appetite after taking one tablet last night? I've been really hungry today but I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid about the meds and I was just hungrier than usual

Yes the appetite increase mechanism is through phosphorylation of AMPK in the brain, phosphorylation is a very fast reaction. I gained 10 pounds on risperidone it's not as bad as zyprexa etc but its definitely a gainer.

We also must also take Tweaky's tweak medicine into consideration. Sometimes I have to make and eat my breakfast before it kicks in. When it does, my motivation is 20x stronger maybe more it's amazing.

Kills appetite like a nuclear bomb on Africa.

- Tweaky

So basically what I did yesterday was completely organize my room and even vacuumed. I took 7 Prozacs the night before. It tips the balance in OCD which I find to be amazing because it happens every time. I didn't take any more because I have the extremely rare side effect of ventricular fibrillation which can cause sudden death.

At the end, the Concerta wore off and I went to bed. I couldn't focus and gave up by leaving it last. I had the motivation. I just couldn't focus to save my life and I get really upset about it. More than I should be.

I'm not a lazy person though. Before schizophrenia, I would shower twice a day etc and I started working full time from part time right before my first hospitalization. I was working my *** off and having fun just causing destruction in heavy duty mechanics and had energy but oblivious to my mental state broken inside. Didn't know.

I started skipping work and was extremely suicidal along what ever else comes with being mentally Ill. I eventually drank with benzos and took 20 pills of Lexapro and then the ambulance. My heart was beating in a bad way in the ER and it probably would have killed me. With all these bad OD's that were mostly accidental, I can't believe I'm still alive. I'm happy that we all are.

I think I might have an addictive personality that prevents me from trying new things but without meds (Prozac-Abilify-Concerta), I'm so under stimulated that I sleep constantly and if I'm thirsty or hungry, I would not eat because I was toast.

My injection is on Thursday which also helps really well with motivation. I couldn't stay in school today and just now the methylphenidate kicked in so I have to catch up on my English course because IR lasts only 3 hours.

I'm on disability to cover my meds but they give me 1600 a month anyways because it's a government program in my province (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped). So if I'm stable, they're happy with me being outpatient and living my life doing the best I can.

They didn't cover the Abilify injection but people complained so they cover it now. I will still have to pay 200-300 a month for Concerta. It's more expensive than Ritalin but it's way better.

Also I found out that the reason as to why my psychiatrist stopped the Vyvanse is because the Prozac inhibits the metabolism of amphetamine let alone an massive increase of Prozac blood concentration from the Abilify which is why he said it would be like crack cocaine. It didn't really do anything for me just slight focus like when I tried crack..

I have some serious information that can be a breakthrough in stimulant addiction (Except meth). I'm seriously going to contact the drug companies but the corrupt government probably won't like it.

Thank you sp. Screw that im not risking it I'm not taking them

You can counteract about half of the weight gain by taking metformin, it's an anti-diabetes drug. I hope you find a better alternative---the three weight neutral atypicals are Geodon, latuda and abilify. There are some typicals that are supposedly weight neutral like Haldol as well.