Roll call 80

As someone who doesn't have a substance abuse problem... why the **** is drugs a big part of my ****ing life? I can't get away from the ****. I can't get away from the people who use and sell the ****. Do they not realize how much stress and danger they put family member through when they do that ****? ****

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death... I fear no evil...

They just had the city's fireworks show. I wanted to see it but I was watching a movie and I didnt want to miss the end.

ETA but I'm right above a whole gathering out front of all the neighborhood and their jokes about me. They are loud and obnoxious. I really have to go asap. I need sunglasses too. My old pair either got packed up or thrown out.

It sounds like they are quieter now outside. I hope they go away. I don't feel like less of a target, I feel like more of one.

Lame, you can always record the movie..... Unless you watch fireworks on tv... you can record that too.

I don't have a DVR or a video recorder that still works.

Now their noise is sickeningly loud. Dear God I want them to go away. Pos.

DVR has changed my life forever... I no longer schedule my time around TV.

i might have asked this before but what sort of job are you doing?

A single thread in a tapestry, through its color brightly shine, can never see its purpose in the pattern of the grand design!

my T asked me if i wanted a hug. he hasnt done that in years. i must have looked pretty pathetic

You're not pathetic... I've met some pretty pathetic people in my life and you're not one of them.

My dad is always gives me cool stuff..



You drink tea out of it it's from Argentina. heavy solid silver cup with 18 carrot gold worth 2k

It's from the 1800's

Cool thing to have.

The pos have been attacking my lungs for over 6 months now. They are apparently now burning some of the garbage I threw away on Thursday. I want them to be destroyed.

What's pos?

Piece(s) of s***.

Ah, thought so.

I've been thinking about my life lately. I don't know what to do.

Feeling extremely anhedonic. I'm scared and a bit paranoid.

I want to be energetic, have a life, friends, a girlfriend, money.

And I don't want to do drugs so I need to get that out of the way. I've been killing myself lately but I stopped completely.

My psychologist is a bit mad but I need actual help. It's the reason as to why I self medicate and it isn't just to stay awake. I have real problems.

I'm sitting in this stupid ****ing basement in the middle of no where with no future, no money, no family, no friends, no car.

My grandmother and family are offering to take me into Vicotoria in Vancouver to do studying, healing.

That means absolutely no ****ing around.

My mom and step dad are always drinking and fighting. I had enough.

I heard a new quote of my step dad against my dad, "At least I didn't put my son in a mental institution".

I WANT THIS ILLNESS TO GO AWAY. As do we all. I'm working on it. I felt better without the oral medication. Maybe I'm on too much.

I don't know what I want to be. I hope to somehow do something out of the ordinary. Something that will make me big money but not just yet.

I have dreams but I'm so scared of walking outside right now. I can't concentrate on reading a book and have I not said yet God holy **** this illness.

Sounds like the first step is getting help with your drug abuse problem. That seems like the most dire thing you got to focus on right now. One issue at a time. Otherwise it'll just overwhelm you. Setting goals may also help. Maybe set a long term goal and then make several different sort term goals that'll help you achieve that long term goal.

I agree... I hate this illness. It's debilitating with everything. It's hard to take care of yourself. It's hard to focus and concentrate on ****. It destroys old and new relationships with people. Then when **** goes down with yourself and people you care about it makes everything worse. It's a battle.

I agree with Erti, you need to stop using various drugs, except for the ones your docs rx.

Once you are more stable, by not using all those drugs, you can begin to work towards your goals.

tweaky, i have faith in you that you can stop the drugs. believe me i know how hard it is. it is REALLY hard!!!!!!!! but you can do it. have you thought about an addiction support group? im not talking about A.A. or N.A.... there are some out there that don't focus on God and 12 steps.

Hi everyone. I haven't caught up on messages. I'm so exhausted. I can't sleep and when I do, I re-live tramua. My boyfriend woke me up this morning because I was twitching and such while asleep.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

As everyone has said, just one step at a time...

I think you might be onto something with regards to be over-medicated AP wise. Surely that's a big part of why you abuse various stimulants so much just to stay awake & compos mentis.

Just be sure any changes to your prescribed meds are done under the supervision of your p-doc & with any luck that will help alongside cutting down on your use of stimulants.

Realising you need to make changes is a great first step, so your already half way there... focus on those & I'm sure the rest will gradually follow.

Hey guys, how're you doing?
I've had a good weekend, went to a bbq and cocktail party at my parents yesterday and got pretty smashed. We played drinking games, I won at beer pong! Think I'm guna put 'beer pong champion' on my CV haha.
Chilled out today and went for a run. Think I've sweated all the toxins out my body!
I'm getting used to being well now. No problems taking my meds. I'm accepting more responsibility for my life and committing to more things. Usually I don't plan anything in advance because I don't know how I'm going to feel, but atm I feel like I can plan things.
Hopefully things will keep getting better! Just been a ****ing job now

I'm worried that I may of overwhelmed my friend with my problems.

I seriously need to go but I don't wanna.

Yup, I've definitely lost a friend.