Roll Call 151

I have all of them. I am getting low on one that needs a prior authorization for the insurance but that's in the works.

It's cuz of hallucinations telling me things about them. I can't make myself take them. I keep trying to get myself to take them, and I just can't do it. I'm gonna take them with me to PHP in the morning... I don't know what they can do to help me with it but at least I'll have them with me in case.

I want to take them, I really do, but the stuff the demons are saying is too real. I can't get over what they are saying. My anxiety and paranoia spike every time I try to take the meds. To panic attack level.

The nurse at church offered to help me take a thorazine and I freaked out right there in the lobby of the church with everyone standing around. She had to pull me into the office to tell me it was okay if I didn't take it. She's the one that said I should take my meds with me tomorrow... she wants me to text her tomorrow with how it goes.

I'm worried they are going to admit me. I don't think they can admit me just for not taking my meds but the other stuff going on, that has been going on for a while, in addition to this, is what worries me. Not sleeping, suicidal thoughts with a plan (but no serious intent to act on it), command hallucinations... The whole combination, with the not taking my meds now, just screams "admit me." I don't know what the doctor is going to want to do... Or the T. The T has said he won't force me to go to the hospital, but I'm scared this will be the last straw for him. Especially if I can't make myself take the meds tomorrow... Even with their help...

I understand your fear, I’ve been there

Too depressed to function today..

Feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack

Thanks. I do much of my own research on my chems. That's why I haven't died because all the government did was say "Just say no".

I would only take phenibut once a week. Benzos = twice a week. So far I haven't had a problem with the benzo.

I even manage to take my stimulant as prescribed.

Who is this new aware, conservative me?? Idk.. idk..

So tired and cold, trying to pass the time till I can go to sleep

I'm getting really close to these two people and it's making me very nervous because I'm not used to having close friendships. I mean...it feels great mostly, im just nervous.

I'm bored. And anxious waiting for this job to call me back. They are closed on the weekends but tomorrow is monday. Ima be stuck to the phone all week.

I have no Advil and don't want to walk in 80 degree heat to the pharmacy so I put 30mg CBD under my tongue.

Also took a 2.5mg THC gummy. I'm gonna take 2.5mg THC every morning and see if that boosts my motivation.

It’ll be okay Falcon.
You’re a cool guy and they’ll be lucky to count you as a friend.

I'm being hit by a severe depression right now. I just don't feel well. My stomach tells me I need to eat, but I also don't want to eat. I had 4 pieces of pizza by force, but my stomach is still upset. I don't know what to do. I feel like im going to throw up all of a sudden. Hot flashes, God im going to throw up. I have no idea whats going on with me.

Did you eat enough food when taking Geodon this morning?

Did your trileptal get increased recently? When mine increased to 1200 mg I had bad stomach problems like that and feeling sick, hot etc. It away after a couple of days though

*Opened Bipolar Forum*
*Found thread “What is your talent?”*
*Left Bipolar Forum*

I only take geodon once a night in the evening with dinner. So maybe this is withrawal since i barely had any thing to eat yesterday with my geodon, like half a burrito with it. Today I ate enough with my geodon though. It could also be that the past two night I haven't taken Seroquel or my benzo like I normally do before bed because they don't help me sleep anyway usually. But last night I only had a few hours of sleep and woke up at 330am and couldn't really fall back to sleep.

Good to know when I do increase my Trileptal I may have stomach problems. I'll up it starting Friday when I see my psychiatrist.

Thanks guys.

Took my night meds a little early. I need to wake up early tomorrow

You have to cut back really slowly on the benzo. Sucks I know..

30mg temazepam (Restoril) converted to diazepam (Valium) is anywhere from 8-30mg diazepam. It's probably in the higher range regardless of your metabolism because you've been on the temazepam for a long time. You should check with your doctor to change to a different benzo so you can cut down because it's not as easy as cutting it in half let alone skipping it all together because that could be as much as 15mg diazepam (Or 0.75-3mg Xanax) depending on how long you've been on it. So like 1mg Xanax which is a lot.

Couldn't keep food down.

I'm looking up "Astral projection"



I don't mean to scare people with my thoughts so I just put it in a trigger..

I'm still sick, might not go to group tomorrow. I feel kinda disconnected from reality, in a dissociative way. Maybe my grandma getting home will help with that.

That feeling is the worst.. I'm sorry you're struggling. You don't deserve this.

Been watching videos about best holiday destinations in Asia. Thailand, Japan, and South Korea seem awesome. Do you guys have a place that you want to visit Asia and why?

Waiting to fall asleep 😴 need to go to the store but don't feel like going tonight so I will in the morning. Annie is laying next to me purring and my other cat is in her hammock thing

Thailand is supposed to be great people and beautiful but sign me up for Japanese gardens