Roll Call 167 :)

Abilify pretty much did nothing. No real side effects and it was like I wasn't on any meds.

Don't forget about a thing called love...

Latuda is my hero it gets rid of my delusions and paranoia and (mostly) balances my mood. I’m on a low dose of Abilify as well as Lexapro. Takes the edge off my OCD and my impulsiveness.

But yeah, I took Abilify by itself a few years ago and did nothing for me to help with my psychotic stuff.

I'm currently on 700mg of clozapin right now. I'm not taking another antipsychotic with it. I don't want to. My pdoc said it sounds like I'm doing a little better so IDK? I took a long nap in and out of consciences... laying down not wanting to move or the motivation to move and not wanting to sleep because I fear I was going to die.

I hope it works for you!

I know when I first went crazy I tried soooo many SSRIs before I just stopped and went crazy again and after like four meds found Latuda.

Never give up!

You do have Bipolar but it's separate from your Psychotic disorder?

Yeah that’s what they told me. They didn’t want to label me as schizoaffective. They said I was ‘too high functioning’ whatever the **** that means.The psychiatrist was a bit of a ***** to be honest.

Basically though, I don’t have psychosis as a result of my changing moods, it’s separate.

Did you not have the psychosis long enough to be consider Schizoaffective? Sounds like a quack doctor to me.

I was psychotic with pretty much no insight from about mid 2015 until almost mid 2017 when I asked my doc for help the first time (still a bit psychotic after that with more insight). If that’s not enough to qualify me for that I don’t know what would be lmao.

I just don’t think the doctor understood schizoaffective and that. She told me to my face she didn’t think I was bipolar and made me cry, then turned around and wrote in my report I was bipolar. Smh.

I could probably call myself schizoaffective but I’m not ‘officially’ diagnosed with it

I might ask my PHP doc to get me off lithium and lexapro so I could just take an AP

lol I've had many different Dx's but right now it's basically schizophrenia and ptsd. Its gone from sza depressive type to sza bipolar type... depression with psychosis.

Diagnosis are really just a dime a dozen. What matters is how we feel and our symptoms and all the fun ********.

I should be sleeping but I’m staring at my phone again like I’m waiting for messages. I feel alone. I should sleep and end this day. But then the next day will come sooner. Ugh the choice.

Yeah, currently I take some Abilify. I still don't know if meds did anything to me. I like to believe they did. But I still don't actually know.

Everything is in decay. All I see is death.

I feel unfocused.

I'm gonna go sit outside. I wish I had a dexedrine to take cuz they last 4 hours.

At least tomorrow is my moms day off so we can go hiking or something.

I fear that my mom is going to die.

Explanation: When the Vyvanse wears off, I become unfocused which leads to anxiety and thoughts of death.

Edit: And I feel horribly alone. So so alone.

pretty much. I gave up caring tbh...

Gathering myself up together now..

I accomplished quite a bit today. Sleep-wake.. Just organizing things..

I'm ok

Gonna take 350mg phenibut and ashwagandha. Much easier to taper phenibut by taking it at night. I had a 1 hour sleep paralysis last night on 450mg which isn't much.

Thanks, cogladaid.

Hey, falcon--thanks.

Thanks, Sometimes.

The board is open up to anyone or family and friends of those with psychosis.

Huh. I have bp 1 with tons and tons of psychosis. Maybe I do not have the right diagnosis or something.

Welp, 'nother rough day for me. Unfocused, sad, hopeless. Totally no motivation to do anything. Tired all the time. Just sit in my chair all day and do nothing. Might be getting some depression, possibly. Also, pretty paranoid today. Quite. No vocies, though, so that is good.

Not functioning at a high level at all. Also, almost out of money and food. It is going to be an interesting few days...