Roll Call 167 :)

I'll just try and take it easy today and try not to be too hard on myself

This is a good goal!

Th new Aladdin and lion king were both awesome.....I rewatched them and then some of the marvel movies and of course I love th nature on National Geographic.....

Don’t hate you, you’re just in pain.....

YES, I want to rewatch the Aladdin live action movie. I do like Robin Williams as genie for the movie and it's sad that we couldn't have him do the part but I like how Will Smith did the genie.

I haven't seen the new Aladdin or the New Lion King. My Dad took my sister's children to Lion King but I think I was working or something IDK I don't remember why I didn't go. But I grew up on the original. Love it!

My therapist texted me and said she could call me around 6:30 tonight. Then she put a bunch of XOXOXOXO's at the bottom. Secretly I love this. Outwardly I'm pretending I don't.

I agree totally

I'm in the mood to watch Lilo and Stitch

I posted this in another bipolar group because I didn’t want to bother you guys and I’m embarrassed:

‘I’ve been taking my meds but my mood is low. I’m having trouble working. I feel almost dissociative while working from home. I haven’t been showering regularly. All I want to do is curl up. Or stop taking my meds to see what happens. I hate it all. I don’t know what to do.’

... The other people suggested I call my doctor ASAP. I should I know. I never made a follow up appointment in early May when I last talked to him. I’ll call tomorrow see when I can get an appointment.

Just letting you guys know how I’m doing.

I tell you if I had alcohol in the house I would get drunk right now and forget everything but that’s not a good coping mechanism.

HUGS @cogladaid Hope you feel better soon

I am currently waiting for a call from Pdoc. He helps me a lot. I am having a lot of trouble with decision making.

HUGS @WastingAsparagus

Oh cog we always want to hear how you’re doing so we can help if necessary or cheer you on if not. Ok here’s the thing...with covid a lot of us have been staying in and not going out really brings down a mood. I don’t know what’s open by you but head out and take the risk....get a Starbucks at minimum....if the patios are open or even something for pickup take a chance.

Idk I just get embarrassed especially since I’ve been having trouble showering. I try to be all strong but I don’t feel it right now.

Thank you for your support though. Love you guys.

I’ve been going out here and there to like the book store and that. Which is nice and kind of relaxing. Don’t feel comfortable going to a patio but maybe some takeout tomorrow. And I always have my mom and sister but it’s hard to talk about these things with them. My mother keeps asking me if I want to get a burger so maybe I’ll take her up on that tomorrow.

We have a whole thread on showering for that very reason....yes get some takeout, treat yourself when you feel bad, it keeps it from getting worse.....

Two days until my intake at partial hospital I am incredibly nervous.

Paranoid today and hearing voices occasionally

You’ll do fine...we have faith in you 😀

Sorry you're struggling Cogladaid, I hope talking to your doctor and getting out of the house for a bit is helpful. I struggle with showering regularly too, I try to motivate myself to do it by using nice smelling soaps and lotion, etc. To make it more of a self care thing

I hope it goes well

Worked, mowed lawn, ate dinner.

I'm listening Son Lux and im blown away. It's really good.

I'm trying my best to listen to more music, forcing myself to feel the beat like Beethoven who lost much of his hearing, so he put his piano on the floor and would pound the keys to hear the keys. That's an almost perfect metaphor for me because of my anhedonia. I really have to engage with the songs, cognitively and my best affectively, with the little i have.

Made a coffee and while it was being made, I washed the dishes, cleaned the cat litter box and took out the trash (Daily chores I do for my mom). Then I mowed the lawn and had a shower. Then I sorted through my closet. It's like I hoarded a bunch of clothes and didn't wear them.. Some pretty good clothes.. I usually don't pay attention to what I wear and instead wear what is the most comfortable.. But I'm going to make an effort to wear a variety.. Then I vacuumed etc, washed clothes..

Productive so far.

I have a huge problem with decision making as well - But not in a psychosis way at the moment. I just have the opposite of boredom. I have to prioritize.

Sometimes I’m awful at making decisions, then there’s the impulsive side of me that’s like YUP THATS IT and goes for it whatever it is.

I’m working on my indecisiveness with my psychologist. I was able to make a decision last time I talked to her!

Abilify made me have "No insight to risk" or "Not admitting to/aware of self harm"