Roll Call 167 :)

Do you think your antipsychotic could be increased?

Perhaps that would help your level of functioning. I know psychosis has been debilitating in the past to me. I remember distinctly when I was taking Abilify it didn't help with the psychosis. Of course that could be different for you. I remember Zyprexa being the best for psychosis for me. That or Risperdal...


Also, do you think you could go to the grocery even briefly to get enough stuff for a few days?

Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted

I made a bunch of decisions recently and I don't think I resolved a single thing... Shows how much decision-making actually helps me. One thing I'm going to try to do is set a timer for 20 minutes and during that time period, just don't make any decisions on anything and just relax. I will see if that helps.

I don't like my moms new bf. My mom is basically



She's almost 60 and is becoming a narcissist and wanting to look young and defy aging or fight the natural life fact that we get old. She can't do this because she has severe heart conditions. Last week my sister had to drive home and get her beta blocker because she was feeling dizzy from staying up until 5am, drinking, walking too far when I said to turn back - She doesn't listen.

To be fair she has cancer although she just wants me to remember her as a complete mess because idk if she'll make it to 60. I need to get out of here and make a life for myself sooner than I thought.

I can't tell my dad because he makes her upset by not wanting to give her money. My sister is going to go to university - Good for her. I wish I didn't have to



I'm sitting her listening to depressing music while she talks to a man - Who I was going to without a doubt, knock out if he walked out the door while I was in psychosis - But he didn't. He stayed inside.

My doctor says that I should relax with the meds and that he let me be in control and has known me for over 2 years. I don't like that attitude. I'm going to make an appointment with my psychiatrist. So far I'm almost on the right meds - Thanks to my intuition and insight.

I fear that stimulant abuse recked my heart because if I stay up for 24 hours, it beats fast and I need sleep for it to function properly. I don't know how long I'll live either.

I want to call my therapist tomorrow and make a time to talk to her when my mom isn't here. Whenever I want to talk to my therapist, I have nothing to say. Usually when I have a lot of thoughts, it's at night.

I'm not going hiking with my mom tomorrow. I can't be around her girlfriends making the weirdest sexual comments around me and reckless drinking and prescription pill use etc..



This is just a fling of life and the mountains and scenery don't look so great to me when I've been a victim of neglect and mind control for her immigrant bf (Who I had to call "Step dad") wins the lottery and leaves after he gets his Canadian citizenship.

I'm going to see if I can get an apartment, work part time, go to school and have good friends



and live a normal life - Able to research on the computer in a quiet room and exercise physically and my mind, etc.

I need to really learn to stick to these goals, set my boundaries, stand up for myself, learn to say no and be assertive - Which is harder than it sounds for me.

When they picked for me it was my ability to pass as normal they based it on.....they were like well you don’t seem weird or something like that.....this is from a clinical psychologist after a battery of tests. My pdoc was never sure if bp 1 or sza mostly because it’s not clear if I really get mood episodes with all my hallucinations.like last time I had a few with depression and I was like I think that’s consistent with bp, she was like no because they typically had it with mania not depression. Oh well.

I just remind myself these dxes don’t actually mean anything anyway they’re just observations of symptoms not related to an underlying cause.

When I do start feeling down before I’m totally down I do some cbt stuff to raise my mood. First if you’ve never tried it I recommend the woebot it’s an app that does cbt using a chat bot......it was free last time I used it. Second I recommend the pick three technique this is behavioral.

You pick three things that are fun to you or used to feel fun and do them all at once. You’ll need to pick three different senses to appeal to. So let’s say you goto a beach, you’ve got the sound of the surf for ears, build a sand castle for touch and bring a picnic for taste. If you’re on your bike, make sure to bring some favorite tunes and maybe a snack. If you’re at home you might want a scented candle or incense with some music and a coloring book. Get the idea? Somehow combining the senses together like this is a huge mood boost. Now it’s best to do this as you slide into depression not while you’re at rock bottom...basically it works as a preventative.

I couldn't find eggs at the dollar store, so my sister is dropping some off for me this afternoon. I need one for the meatball mix. She's also ordering me new clothes with my account so I have stuff for the summer weather, I mostly have colder weather clothes.

I bought an iTunes card and got some more music. I got both volumes of the Stranger Things soundtrack and a few other random songs I enjoy.

I just buy frozen meatballs lol.....I’m sure yours will be even better though....Sounds like a fun day.

Yeah How are you?

Music and books make life wonderful!!!!

My sims suddenly takes forever to load and once it loaded it becomes laggy. I don’t know how to fix this, anyone?

I’m ok...much lighter class load this week...last week was so hard. Plus I’m hoping to get a library job ...would be so nice.

That's great, I hope you get it

I'm beginning to doubt I ever had a manic episode, might just be schizophrenic or sza depressed

one of the kids almost burn the house down at 2:30 this morning

Hi guys. My therapist didn't call me last night like she said she would. She said she would call me at 630ish. It was 745 when I texted her and was like well I guess you forgot about me. It's okay, I'm going to bed. She texted me at like 9 but I was asleep. She said she was sorry, that she had to stay late at work. Today she texted me again and said she was sorry. She was dealing with someone who was suicidal and she almost had to hospitalize them. Yeah, but I was/am? feeling suicidal too. I told her it's okay that I'm a little better and we can just talk on Saturday. But she said she would call this afternoon. She wants to hear my voice. I feel like I didn't matter as much as the other client, although I know that feelings can be wrong. I feel like I'm a mess though. I want to talk to her but I don't want to talk to her. Maybe I'm a little mad that she didn't call. I don't know. She had a good reason. I'm being a stinker. I don't know how to feel. Life sucks.

Oh my gosh. glad everyone is okay!

only real damage is the microwave may not be safe to use again. This was twice the kid almost burn down the place. the kid try to throw the food in the microwavee away in the toilet. a jet black cinnamon roll.

This is one of those squeaky wheel gets the grease things....the louder you yell the more attention you get, it’s not about your value as a person. That being said, you should absolutely call with her this afternoon.

Need to learn more songs on my ukulele. Will look up tutorials

Using my second wireless charger at work. It was a good investment. My uncle iz trying to get in an argument. No way im taking the bait lol.

I'm so tired. I want to sleep but I need to be up for when my sister stops by

Have an appointment with my psychiatrist Thursday. Not much to report, I'm doing very well

I fixed the game

Fell asleep and missed the first half of my therapy appt. this is my second time doing it and she says this is not like me. I know.

Hugs Newtus....it’s really not like you when you have so much good going on, but you do have sza and if you’re entering a depression it’s possible it could cause this.