Roll Call 173

When I get dp/dr, my IQ is like 1/4 of what it usually is

drinking coffee

Yes!!! It’s about to rain! YESSSSSSSS!!!

Gonna go make tea!

I cut the grass after I went to the gas station and bought a coke.

It's possible that I could be feeling good because I'm in ketosis. But the coke might kill that...

I massaged my scalp while I was in the shower shampooing and omg it felt so good in the hot water. Idk why I never do that

For th week I got fruits and veg along with smoked cheese, summer sausage and crackers......classic family tray of no cook dinners

Sounds good! Tomorrow I'm getting stuff to make vegetable shrimp pasta salad. And then some frozen general tso's and sweet and sour chicken

Yummmy!!!

I always feel like showering is a chore so I spend at least amount of time in there as possible.

drinking coffee while it thunders outside

That sounds nice

Omg that storm was HORRIBLE. It was hailing and everything. I was scared. Not very relaxing...

My local walmart posted on Facebook that they have 2pks of trendy masks for $4.97

Has anybody tried LUNESTA? It's a sleeep aid on par with Ambien. I'm hoping it doesnt make me do crazy things while I dissociate. I do terrible enough things while conscious! lol

Currently the Ativan isn't doing jack ****. I have to take it with my left over Restoril so I'm calling my pdoc monday for her to call me back and get this worked out.

Oh, also I will talk with her about me trying ketamine nasal spray as a supplment for my anhedonia.

I think i paid $4 bucks for 3 black masks on Amazon.

I like things like this. Like sleeping in the back seat of a car when it rains..

I hope I can get the Ketamine nasal spray to take home and not have to go to some wierd clinic where they would overcharge me and waste my time and someone elses who would have to pick me up. It would be much easier to go home, administer myselff, and just chill the f out at my own convenience.

I forgot that I should have warned you that 1mg of ativan = like 10mg of temazepam or 15mg.

Lunesta is good. Eminem likes it. The better half of zopiclone.

I'll try zoplicone then maybe. Ill mark these things down. I iddn't know lunesta and that were the same

I'm finally off remeron though! Yeah! When will i lose all this weight! Hopefully by the end of campus rush

Anybody else super bored these days? I feel like I have exhausted everything I have to do...

Another one that Eminem took was Soma carisoprodol..

I completely forgot that muscle relaxers can be used for sleep (Soma is super sedating and doesn't last long - won't hypnotize you). It works on GABA-A receptors I think? It doesn't last long (Short half life) so tolerance builds much less.

Tizanidine or cyclobenzaprine (Muscle relaxers).

I'm kind of the opposite of bored. I have FOMO for everything.. I'm not sure what boredom really is. I think it can be related to depression and ADD.

Boredom, to me, is a human emotion. People say sometimes to just sit with boredom and see what happens. If I do that I just end up depressed. I wish I had more productive things to do. I think being productive is a major part of my life.

I feel kind of bored now thinking about it. I think with the way the world is, I think "fack idk.. What to do now?"..

I'm too aware now.. I think pain and humiliation etc make me realize and grow. I used to be so immature just a few years ago.

The bad trip made me feel so much pain and humiliation about my ego that my brain was on fire but x4000.. I was literally in hell.

Idk.. I can't believe I've gotten to this point where I am now.. Every time I'm not on the right track, my brain remembers the trip and triggers a reaction of dp/dr where I think that everything isn't real which reminds me to stay on the right track.

But it's exhausting - Especially with all of these panic attacks. I need to practice meditation and mindfulness but for some reason I shy away from it and search for hedonia and to kill pain. I'm like someone with PTSD.