Roll Call 173

making a late night snack

Morning

Ate a sausage skillet for breakfast. Took my medicine.

Playing Xbox for a bit.

I signed up to be an Xbox ambassador on xbox. I’ve been into Xbox a bit more past few days or two. I’ve been trying to find friends to game with. I can’t find anyone to game with. I wish I had gaming friends.

Slept 20 hrs. Feel tired. Gonna try to run before the heat.

Hugs.

Congrats on the sleep!

New day! Although I was tortured with anxiety last night and couldn't sleep (Or heart failure if that's what it is - Then I said "Just do it heart - STOP - LET ME DIE IN PEACE ALREADY") but I can't think that way. Took 1.5mg alprazolam. Not good..

I'll try and chew less nicotine gum today to lower my blood pressure.

Vyvanse kicked in at noon so I don't have to worry about dp/dr until like mindnight instead of 4-5pm!

Why is no one here?

I’m working. Off work in less than an hour but losing motivation. In a bad mood because of having to go back to the office next week.

I bet. How long have you been out of the office?

I had to go in for a few days a couple months ago, but been working from home since mid April. COVID is far worse now in my province than it was when we left so I’m not thrilled about going back. They’re prioritizing customers over us.

That’s crazy...

I can't believe my mom still has to work full time and over time. Her only vacation in over 2 years was radiation.

I slept for 16 hours after staying up for 2 days. Feeling a bit better mentally. I woke up with a headache though so I took a headache pill that has caffeine in it. Now my heart’s beating too fast..

*Hugs* @ 12AM. That's the sort of **** that I'm dealing with.. One problem solved but then there's another problem..

I would probably be so happy today if I didn't have high blood pressure or anxiety or something last night. And I'm pissed that I took more alprazolam - But it was needed to fall asleep.

Now I'm just going to keep on going..

Yeah it’s a chain of evils (problems). I don’t know, I try not to think too far into the future like I automatically do. I just try to live day by day, trying to be happy or at least okay in this moment.

All this got me feeling stressed.

I have the urge to cut off all my hair, get drunk, and stop taking my meds.

But I won’t. I promise.

Not cutting all of your hair but a haircut would be nice perhaps

My hair almost reach my waist and my bangs is longer than my bills

Nah I’m just in a stressed out mood where I want to do drastic things.

My hair is down to my hip almost and I’m trying to just let it go as long as I can.

I read that as balls. Idk why.

This made me laugh louder than it should

Tried a coursera course. My cognition is really bad.

I'm really stressed out by what happened last night with my heart and sleep.

Also I smoked weed. Probably shouldn't have..

I'm not strong mentally. I can't handle stress very well.

Take it easy today. Maybe go for a walk to the store and get some chocolate and chips

saw the doc today, talked about my lack of energy and anxiety. He upped my Lexapro to 20mg

Today is not my day at all