Roll Call 174

How is mental illness perceived in Argentina? Like here they are required to make accommodations....

That is so sad bluebird.....

Yeah, I thought they would care that I can produce a letter easily from my psychiatrist. It seems they don't. I am going to write one last email to the course director with all of the information. If they don't really respond to that, I am going to just be done with it. It seems like they are using my words against me and I don't really like that.

Anyway, what they're doing is not cool. I am going to try to advocate for myself one last time though.

I’m so sorry bb so so sorry

Well, my sister just talked to me. She said what we could do was a trial run, where I take her for a couple weeks and if it really doesn't work out then I could just give her back. I said I'd do that because I really want a cat again and I'm willing to try hard to take care of her

Yay!!! Sounds good to me!

My roommates are getting another kitty. I'm gonna claim it as my own. :>

Had a panic attack. Idk why - Could be cuz of the invega idk.. took 2.5mg alprazolam.. Gonna take a zopiclone maybe and sleep. Work in the morning.

I'm not taking the Vyvanse in the morning - I'm gonna take it at 10pm. I'll be a complete zombie in the morning and might not even get out of bed but I think this radical change might help.

Wish me luck...

Good luck!!!

Does anyone know why pdocs are like hesitant to give out Xanax long-term? I feel like Xanax has helped me a lot with anxiety and panic and making snap decisions. Is it actually bad to take Xanax long-term?

Yes. It causes long term organ damage, sleep problems, etc. the withdrawals are extremely dangerous...you can have seizures.

Also aside from what Newtus said, you typically need to increase the dose over time to be effective, they’re addictive and it doesn’t mix with alcohol at all.

Wow, slept 4.5 hours, feel like complete ****. I think Im giong to go back on remeron until I see my pdoc. I feel like complete **** right now. This has been the norm. I'll try to split it by doing just 15mgs of remeron first. This is hell.

Even for me, I had to put wet tissue in my ear because my cat keeps peeing on my bed and has to be outside my room but at 5am, I hear scratching and scratching at the door then my mom let's her in and I wake up, take atenolol, go back to sleep, wake up, take vyvanse (I couldn't wake up without it @ Newtus..), went to work.

I asked for restaurant to make me breakfast and felt anxious about asking for that.

Hopefully I NEVER get depersonalization/derealization at work.. that would be terrible..

I think the invega is contributing to my dp/dr.. i wish i could get off of it but I threatened a guy with a shovel? Why? Why do I have to deal with this nonsense...

Hugs falcon....how are you doing today?

Had an extremely awful dream I was driving home from a day at college and in my hometown and there was a huge sink hole that opened at the streetlight. All the cars sitting at the light fell in and the cars going towards it fell in. So I swerved to go through a parking lot and got to the adjoining street and stomped my breaks cuz there was a sinkhole there too.

Then the dream happened again and I was a passenger in a car and we went into a sinkhole. We we’re in the center of the earth. Almost like we were in Hell. It was extremely hot down there. And everyone touching the ground there was scorched to death. I was only safe for a few min cuz we were still in the car and not touching the ground inside around us. But then the car melted and I started to feel the heat slowly.

I wonder if this has anything to do with me thinking about sui last night and/or eating late cuz eating late causes me nightmares.

My sis is ordering a doggie dna test....should be fun

Really anxious today. Don't know now if I should have gone to class or not. I know these things sound trivial. But I went to class today, regardless of whether I was technically in the program or not. It's a complicated situation, but the teacher basically said I could come to class. Now I have no clue what to do. I know I need to email or send a letter to the head of the university and get all this straightened out. But I don't know how to proceed with my daily life. I am on a break from class right now and I have no idea what I should do.

WA in a way it sounds like you benefit from other people running your life ie teachers etc.....most people aren’t going to do that for you. I’m not sure what’s up with your indecision but maybe therapy can help with that? For me when I started having adhd I was the same way...I would try something and then the next minute try something else....what worked for me were omega 3 supplements, mostly DHA.....I believe you mentioned trying them? They certainly don’t work for everyone though.

Can you make a list of possibilities then do some coin toss magic? It’s not what you think though...the coin toss will tell you your gut reaction....if you get heads and are kinda like hmmm not happy then you know not to do that thing. If you’re happy with th outcome do it.

I was getting my haircut today and the lady asked me how i was doing, and I told her I have insomnia. She told me that she understands because she has bipolar. The whole time we talked about our mental health while she cut my hair. Super nice lady, to spice her day up I told her she could be a therapist and she smiled at me, I think I made her day with that comment. It felt so good to talk with someone in person who has a mental illness. I can't recall the last time I had an in person chat with someone, and she was so nice--nicest person I've met in a long time. She gave me her card so I get her next time I get my hair cut.

The direction to taper off remeron says 10% per month! My do said to cut a 30mg tablet in half for 4 days and shuck it lol I'm going to go to 15mgs, and take that for a week, then, take a 3rd for a week, then taper off. Hopefully that works! I was maybe on it for a year? I was on Seroquel before that and that was hell--remember I couldn't remember anything? Jesus Christ I was a mess on that.

The neighbor is ruining my weekend...he’s already blasting music for part of what seems to be a three day party which isn’t great but bf won’t even go outside tomorrow because he invited us over and rather than just tell the guy we’re not eating out he’s going to hide inside all day....he doesn’t even want to help me take the car out or Into the garage when I have to work. These garages are tiny and I told bf that if I hit his car or the garage that it’s on him....it’s like less than an inch of clearance usually. That and I know th music will be on until midnight....we are the closest to his garage and everyone likes him so no one says anything but I need my sleep. Anyway this weekend will suck and then I need to work all weekend next week....

My tolerance level has also been reduced with the workload of school and work so I know I’m being irrational but still.

That’s awesome!

just woke up. I feel sick