Roll Call 174

Sometimes psychotic · Aug 30, 2020, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Job 30 26

@bpcyclist all the sleep meds you listed the other day: remeron, restoril, seroquel those are all of the ones i tried, plus i think you mentioned a mood stabilizer too... I'm on one. Geodon is suppose to make me sleepy but it does't when I take it at night, only when I take it in the morning which I never do or else I sleep at work (literally). My pdoc wants to put me on Latuda and I will one I get health insurance when the market opens up. Ambien puts me to sleep but I wake up at 4am and can't fall back to sleep.

My understanding is that none of th sleep aids keep you asleep.....they’re only good for falling asleep but often you’ll sleep longer because falling asleep if th typical issue.....

newtus · Aug 30, 2020, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

My understanding is that none of th sleep aids keep you asleep.....they’re only good for falling asleep but often you’ll sleep longer because falling asleep if th typical issue.....

I have both trouble falling and staying asleep

Erti · Aug 30, 2020, 09:58 AM

Having issues with my friends and cps. My friends girlfriend has the kids at her sisters. Apparently they are having a hard time taking care of the oldest who is special needs and plans on having the kids split up. That's not fair to him or the other two. They ended up sending him to the cps agency WITHOUT TELLING MY FRIENDS. Hes been there for two days. Just him... not his brother and sister. The kid is more than likely to be scared on top of being taken from the home. probably thinks no one wants him and ****. We're trying to send all 3 of them to my friends aunt and uncle... at least the oldest will be there.

WastingAsparagus · Aug 30, 2020, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Is your pdoc changing things at your request though or just randomly? If it’s at your request then that’s a responsive pdoc and often a good thing.

Meds definitely aren’t the only thing...I know that I use a variety of cbt techniques including self care and even a small amount of retail therapy.

I think I posted all that last night because I was kind of upset with the way things were going. My pdoc is definitely a good one. Sometimes I have these little episodes when I will doubt everything I'm doing. I usually need help getting out of these episodes.

I think my pdoc changes things but in a measured way. I often end up on a combination of meds I've been taking for years, which is Remeron, Effexor, Zyprexa and Abilify. I know it's two APs but the Abilify helps my depression and the Zyprexa helps my anxiety and psychosis. It just seems like my pdoc and I should not change things from this point on. I am going to tell him that next time we speak.

I was also thinking about not taking my meds last night but I was able to get out of that thought loop. I am glad for that.

WastingAsparagus · Aug 30, 2020, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

The dha fish oil takes at least a month to kick in if not longer.....

Ah that's good to know. Last time I tried it, I had only done it for like a few weeks.

Job 30 26 · Aug 30, 2020, 10:36 AM

I took the 15mgs (half dosage) of remeron and holy ****, slept until 11! I'm going to take 1/3 of the 30 mgs next. wow.

WastingAsparagus · Aug 30, 2020, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Job 30 26

I took the 15mgs (half dosage) of remeron and holy ****, slept until 11! I'm going to take 1/3 of the 30 mgs next. wow.

Remeron is really powerful stuff. I've taken it for years. May I ask why you want to go off of it?

newtus · Aug 30, 2020, 10:52 AM

Found this really cute new game called “A Short Hike”. You play as a teenage bird who hiked up a mountain in their town and meet interesting birds on your way up. And u can go off the beaten path too The birds are personified so they are like the people in the town. But yea it’s a cute, moving and emotional storyline to it as well.

Here’s a pic when I found a graveyard near the top on a separate path. And then second pic is when I got to the very top of the mountain and glided to the bottom.

Cute game! I think SP would like it. It’s on switch.

Sometimes psychotic · Aug 30, 2020, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Found this really cute new game called “A Short Hike”. You play as a teenage bird who hiked up a mountain in their town and meet interesting birds on your way up. And u can go off the beaten path too The birds are personified so they are like the people in the town. But yea it’s a cute, moving and emotional storyline to it as well.

Here’s a pic when I found a graveyard near the top on a separate path. And then second pic is when I got to the very top of the mountain and glided to the bottom.

Cute game! I think SP would like it. It’s on switch.

You had me at birds....

Desoxyn · Aug 30, 2020, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Somehow, taking a stimulant at bedtime seems counterintuitive. And you lied to your pdoc, 2.5 Xanax is more than .5.

That was a couple panic attacks ago. I'm not taking a stimulant before bedtime anymore.

I had a panic attack again yesterday evening. I just kept taking 0.5mg of Xanax until I felt better because no one is there to reassure me that it even works or is real.

I feel like I might have a panic attack now. My mom said she might bring me to the ER or doctor tomorrow.

How is this my fault? It is. I'm drinking a coffee. Maybe it will help. Idk what will help who will or I is or what anything is

ANd the cat keeps scratching i have to change the litter box and they make noises like the shadows did on my bad trip

Desoxyn · Aug 30, 2020, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Somehow, taking a stimulant at bedtime seems counterintuitive. And you lied to your pdoc, 2.5 Xanax is more than .5.

I meant 10am not 10pm

Desoxyn · Aug 30, 2020, 12:56 PM

Holy **** there's people shouting outside why do they live why do I live I hate myself and everything I'm sick of it all i have apathy

Desoxyn · Aug 30, 2020, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I might ask my doctor for diazepam again because it works better for mental anxiety.

****. My mom's cat is scratching at my sisters door. I can't take any more of this. I was up and going non-stop from 9am-2pm NO BREAK. Just non-stop moving, shower, hygiene, work, cleaning, eating, taking meds, walking, taking out the garbage, washing dishes..

And how can I relax? A beer? NOPE can't do that anymore because I have HPPD from psychedelics.

I'm sick of the mental anxiety. I don't have any physical anxiety but it hurts everywhere. I could barely cut the potatoes because there was so many of them and I had to stand up - Zombified on the Invega injection. It's like trying to do anything on risperidone.. You know what that's like? Right? Or something like that.. But I did it.. And now I have to panic as a consequence or something maybe idk ****.

I had a panic attack right after this. I still don't feel well.

I had to skip work today. My mom called them and said I can't come because of panic.

Angelique67 · Aug 30, 2020, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I meant 10am not 10pm

Oh, I see.

Job 30 26 · Aug 30, 2020, 05:34 PM

Feeling hypomanic right now. Wow, haven't felt this great in a long time.

Instead of taking 15mgs of Remeron again, I'm going to take 7.5mgs and see if that works, and if it does, I'm going to stay on that for a couple weeks since 15mgs was *really* powerful. Other than that, everything will stay the same. Wow I feel great. I love getting a full nights rest.

Erti · Aug 30, 2020, 06:22 PM

I may of been born plain white trash but at least I know a crack in the system.

newtus · Aug 30, 2020, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Job 30 26

Feeling hypomanic right now. Wow, haven't felt this great in a long time.

Instead of taking 15mgs of Remeron again, I'm going to take 7.5mgs and see if that works, and if it does, I'm going to stay on that for a couple weeks since 15mgs was *really* powerful. Other than that, everything will stay the same. Wow I feel great. I love getting a full nights rest.

Yay, to feeling fantastic!!!

bpcyclist · Aug 30, 2020, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Job 30 26

Feeling hypomanic right now. Wow, haven't felt this great in a long time.

Instead of taking 15mgs of Remeron again, I'm going to take 7.5mgs and see if that works, and if it does, I'm going to stay on that for a couple weeks since 15mgs was *really* powerful. Other than that, everything will stay the same. Wow I feel great. I love getting a full nights rest.

That stuff used to put me on the ground!

bpcyclist · Aug 30, 2020, 08:50 PM

Nice, relaxing day. Excellent brunch of dungeness crab eggs benedict. Awesome. Fixed my bike up w a fancy new tubeless setup. No tubes, no flats. So cool! Yay!!

Back home manana morning.

Think I am gonna go back to full vegan again. Gotta find some good soy ice cream... 6 bucks a flipping pint!!

Sometimes psychotic · Aug 30, 2020, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

I may of been born plain white trash but at least I know a crack in the system.

I think there are probably many cracks....I chose schoolwork......

Erti · Aug 30, 2020, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I think there are probably many cracks....I chose schoolwork......

Too many to count really.

WastingAsparagus · Aug 30, 2020, 09:59 PM

Wrote to the head of my university today. We'll see what he says.

Desoxyn · Aug 30, 2020, 10:02 PM

Went berserk in front of my sister about having another panic attack so she phoned my mom - My mom came home from work and asked if going to the ER was a good idea.

The doctor made me stay overnight to see the psychiatrist tomorrow on the TV as an emergency.

I panicked because I felt like everything was taken away from me. I panicked for 5 hours straight 2pm-7pm. It's 8pm now and I feel better.

I was given 5mg diazepam, then 5mg olanzepine then another 5mg diazepam.

The panic of complete horror wasn't enough go force me to take a 1mg Xanax blotter that I had in my wallet. I told the nurse that I trust everyone so I gave them the benzos.

Now I will take a zopiclone and sleep - I see the psychiatrist in the morning.. sigh..

Desoxyn · Aug 30, 2020, 11:33 PM

Maybe I cant sleep even on the zopiclone because of hospital noise or cuz I never chewed nicotine gum since I panicked...

Hmm.. hard desicion to make..

Desoxyn · Aug 31, 2020, 12:11 AM

I might be staying in the hospital for a few days depending on whether how much my psychiatrist decides to change my meds.

Then I'm going to get a monthly box and put everything in there so my mom can see or dispense things so I don't have to worry.

I'm going to take everything exactly as prescribed because not doing that has caused me a lot of pain and suffering. The doctor said "You seem very bright - which is often a problem and can be complicated".

But I've learned my lesson! I will keep updating on my progress.. I had a good run so far lol but time is up..

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