Roll Call 188

To be honest almost all I think about is possible ways I can accidently die. (not suicidal)

Anyone hear from WastingAsparagus? Hope they're okay

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Was watching videos on the life cycle of mushrooms

I went for the hike. We didn't go all the way to the top cuz my mom was cold but still good exercise.

Same. When we turned back down the hill on the hike, I had a divine thought saying "Yeah... You better turn back.. cuz you would have died at the top or while in your sleep tonight". I get many thoughts like this - They can be annoying but I just deal with them cuz they're not excessive.

My power is out. It just went out and everyone’s in the halls went out too. It’s still out

Well it’s back on, we’ll see how long it lasts. Apparently it went out earlier today when I wasn’t home too

Having that kind of dissociated panic because I fear my apartment isn’t clean enough.

I guess I’ll watch some Pokémon and try to chill out

I'm sorry BB.. It must be really hard to be in that state of mind. I don't think you're on the right meds. I get this way sometimes - I'm a perfectionist but I know where the line is - I play mental tricks on myself such as staring at objects in their places, saying "I'm content with this - It's the best I can do" - Then a distraction. It's basically what you're doing I think.

In dissociation, I can't keep track of the objects so I stare at them and I don't even know what they are for or what their functions are. But olanzepine helped with that to prevent it from happening.

I had DP/DR dissociation 3-4 times this year which is nothing compared to last year. Hugs!

You are super neat, I bet they pick your apartment for inspection for that reason...

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Thanks Desoxyn, I think my meds are okay, they help me with my psychotic symptoms and mood (haven't been seriously depressed or manic in a long time) but Idk what med would help with that, maybe something for anxiety. I'm prescribed klonopin but I try to rarely take it. Maybe there's something more long term that I can take like visteral or atarax. I used to be on both those (not at the same time) at different times in my life. I don't really want to be on more meds than I already am though. Anyway, I'm trying to just work through it myself for the time being

Thank you, I hope so. I have never been in anyone else's apartment here so I don't know how they keep theirs in comparison to mine. But I've never had anyone say mine was messy, my sister thinks it's clean and she is super organized and clean in her house so I do kind of trust her. I just have to stop obsessing about it

I think I'll just ask to be put back on hydroxyzine/Vistaril at my next visit

I'm making pumpkin brownies and also chocolate chip pumpkin bread for Thanksgiving

Hi everyone, I started a new job on Monday, that is why I haven't posted.

It's going well though. I had a good meeting with my pdoc yesterday. He prescribed more venlafaxine which should help with my mild depression right now.

I’m not doing well lately

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Hi WA, I'm glad it's going well!

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Hugs, falcon.

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Congrats on the new job

Drinking some peppermint tea. About to take a walk over to Family Dollar to buy some household essentials then to the library to pick up some of my requests.

Library wasn’t open due to Veterans Day. But I got everything I needed at family dollar

I bought a giant aluminum roasting pan for the turkey when I make it for Thanksgiving. I feel pretty good today. I've been getting consistent sleep the past few days. Going to sleep around 10ish every night and getting up around 8-9am each day. Getting out is helpful, taking a walk, The weather is really nice. I might actually go sit outside for awhile later

We are supposed to get snow tomorrow night so it’s not as great here

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Aw, I love snow, and lots of it, winter is my favorite season, but then again I don't drive in it, I walk or take the bus

One thing I don't like though is ice, I'm clumsy enough as it is without it

Downstairs they're putting the huge Christmas tree up in the community room and decorations right now

Yeah I used to like snow before I had to drive in it

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I don’t mind a little snow, I just hate when it’s three feet of snow and then it gets down to -40 and you have to go places and everyone else forgets how to drive.

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