Roll Call 188

My friend and I are either going to the movie theater a little after 3pm or at 7. There's one showing at 3:45pm (we have to walk there), but it depends how long it takes me to get my tablet at 3pm, if the lady is back here on time or not. If it takes too long then we'll just go to the showing at 7pm.

I just hope no random guys bother me on my walk back if it's dark out, that made me nervous last time

I have a coffee can I put my spare change in, like anything except quarters. So dimes, nickels, and pennies. Eventually when I have one or 2 full cans I'm going to roll the coins and cash them in or take them to one of those coin machines

A lot of banks unroll them and put into their own machines now

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Look at this massive bag of cat food. It’s 22lbs. I didn’t realize 22lbs was so much. It’s up to my knees

I'm doing good today.. Good sleep, went to work.. A morning with no problems. Now I might watch a JRE podcast about neuroscience and meditation.

I got my tablet, it’s nice! It came with a case and screen protector too. It comes with 10gb free data a month but I can use WiFi at home so I can save that for other times when I’m not home which is like never anyway. Downloading apps now

That's so nice Blue_Bird!

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Nice!! 10GB a month is a lot of data (The phone companies are greedy where I live).

I bought a Huawei (For reading). I can basically ONLY use it for reading because it's so slow. I managed to speed it up by going into "Developer Mode" but still slow af.. only 2GB of RAM.

That sounds like the free phone I was using. It could barely load apps. But it was good for binge watching TV and yt.

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Yeah! That's so nice Blue_Bird!

I am synthesizing hypomania in my mind.. My memory is calculating with the dopamine, serotonin etc.. BUT.. I have to keep learning etc and keep down-low incognito - To use my unhappy state as a receiver of knowledge in order to make my future nirvana stronger - To have a more focused, stronger and more resistant mania.

I've been very euphoric once upon a time.. And they all hated me for it! "How can you be like this? You HAVE to be like US!" - And they were right.. But at some point, a pandemic happens right when you figure **** out, the corruption and control seeps through. So it's not just my mom controlling me now, but also the whole world.

So I will do an Ne/Extroverted Intuition examination of the world and seek to magnify my consciousness from within like a virus that just won't give up..

No jk guys...

I want to play guitar but Idk where to start anymore.

The friends that were teaching me 3 years ago were amazed at how I fast I was able to learn - I love music. Music is like a psychedelic.

I feel a little emotionally anhedonic.

I feel alone too. I miss my dad. He should visit soon - But I'm sitting here, my mom is still at work. I need to make money. My mind is a mess.

Just got home, movie was good. A little confusing since I’m not familiar with the Dune book series or the old movie but it was still interesting and I plan on eventually watching the one made in the 80’s and reading the books.

I'm glad you had fun and got home safely.

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Yeah this tablet I got is good, it runs Netflix and Youtube videos very well

I have the book - I tried reading it, I have to get through it, because I want to. But I haven't been able to finish it yet.

I can't sleep, I'm too wound up from going out tonight

I have chronic stress. Like I never feel relaxed. I'll take a .25 clonazepam and read on my tablet for the rest of the night. Work tomorrow.

Would a cup of chamomile tea help?

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Every time that I say that I'll wake up early, I don't..

I want to wake up at 7am, take Vyvanse and then get out of bed by 8am, make a coffee and be at work by 9am..

- Instead of waking up at 8:30am, being at work by 8:50am and taking 10 minutes to drink a cup of weak, watered down coffee until 9am..

So I'm going to write it down on a piece of paper.. I'll let you guys know if it works..

I have a strategy to get to the gym: set an alarm on my watch and label it as "workout." I hope it works.

For people with Netflix.....lovehard is a new Xmas movie and is pretty good

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I'm testing my battery life and it looks much better than I thought. I last charged the phone last night and at noon it's at 82%. The really good battery saving starts at 50%. So I'm really glad it's not as bad as I thought.

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I ended up falling asleep around 12amand slept till 12:30pm. I had a lot of coke at the movie theater so I didn't want to drink anything else when I got home, too much liquid

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I kinda feel like an MAOI would help my depression (even though I'm technically not depressed). It could replace the enormous cocktail of medicines I'm on. I would still take olanzapine though.