Roll Call 192

Interesting perspective on the downs and feeling like you work on yourself hard so that kind of eradicates them, no? Forgive me if I misunderstood the idea, it's early, haha.

I just applied for a full-time job with the organization I used to work for, the one I worked for during 3 months. Anyway, I am hoping they'll take me back. They said, "you are doing a good job" when I quit. So that's at least something in my favor. And the position would be different and would use my skills at Spanish.

Oh I also rediscovered running on the treadmill. It affects my mood so, so, so positively. Wow.

So even if I don't get this new job, I will run on the treadmill each day and feel great.

I think you’d love my job….if you can afford a masters do it.

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Getting Chinese food for lunch, yay!

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Chinese food is so good

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I have a package coming today with a box of Pringles and a big bag of Reese's peanut butter cups

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My candy is coming tomorrow yay!

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Yum!.........

I was sooooo tempted to call in today but I was like, nah you got all of next week off. But I have nothing to do. I intermittently get some work to do but nothing steady. (At least the pay is steady!) I wrote some letters. Did some studying for Lent and preparing for Holy week. Now I am just chilling. Waiting for it to be lunch time.

I got the lunch special which is beef and broccoli with a side of fried rice and and egg roll. I also added a small egg drop soup because I was craving it.

I forget how early it is for you there, it’s already one pm here.

Love me some egg drop soup.

Yeah just like 11 AM here. Don't get lunch for at least another hour. Not that I am all that thrilled about my tuna sandwich but I'll eat it anyway. I've been spending too much money on doordash

OMG we had music therapy last night in Aftercare for IOP. It was so great. I haven't had music therapy since IP so it was great to have it in aftercare. Really cheered up my day. And, I gather, its going to start being a regular thing on Thursday night's group. The music therapist seems cool. I liked her.

I recommend ukulele..it’s so fun and cheery to play …or is this like when you play CDs or something?

Well aftercare is virtual so last night we each just shared a song that meant something to us and we youtubed it and played it for the group. Mine was a Christian song of course so I said that if that bothered anyone I could just pass but that's the only music I know. But everyone was cool with it so we played Mandisa's Overcomer. It was cool. I guess she does other stuff too like we might write a song together or something. IDK. When I was IP we played drums and stuff and that was fun. I do have a piano and a saxophone at home that I used to play but I haven't played either in years.

Cool….I’m looking into steel tongue drums or a kalimba as we speak…..they just seem like they’d be easy to play and I love the sound.

A lot of the drums don’t sound right on video and some of them they aren’t really playing like the beats don’t line up…..kinda thinking they may be scammy.

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I can't complain.. I must keep moving.. But my mind isn't going anywhere..

I'm not good enough! Lol

I'm looking at careers for Toronto Research Chemicals.INC

Hear me out..

If I just do online courses all day (Provided I have enough focus), I wonder....

It's not like I'm 50 years old. I still have time. I just need to chillax.

But everything is really piecing all together - In a really painful way. But I'll live.

I just screwed up... Everything isn't what it seems.

I feel alone + always feel like my brain/body is on fire. People can take high spiritual paths, and do what ever else.. Be free of ignorance, achieve success in their own personal lives - Based on this pattern of particular reality.

It's in all the songs, the movies and behind the lies of propaganda, culture, brainwashing.... It is a purgatory - But it will always be that way. We just have to make the right decisions to get to a good place. I've made so many mistakes but they are all apart of the thing - To the great magnificence of it.

I like that I'm not special and no one is - But I'm happy that I have a mother that lifts me up, a dad that lifts me up + others. My family all just wants what's best for me. I was misguided by even myself.

I just never got how people can dismiss another person's life/dehumanize - Then again, others murder and do other worse things.

It's nature. It's life.

I think you only need a bachelors to work for a chemical company….it’s definitely doable.

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For some reason we’ve gotten Starbucks a lot lately despite their prices. I have to say a Starbucks latte with a Dunkin’ Apple fritter is an excellent combo….not quite up to the eclairs we had last week but it feels special.

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I'm go to Tim Hortons, buy a coffee + pastries.. I need to get away from my thoughts lol...

The coffee will mean that I'll have to stay up til midnight though which is ok.