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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 11:23 AM
  #461
Hugs Desoxyn

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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 11:25 AM
  #462
Mom is in the hospital. Went by ambulance on Monday. She had been weak, fatigued/exhausted, dizzy, no appetite etc for like a week. She got so week and she was shaky when she tried to stand up. Dad called the ambulance Monday night. She got admitted into the hospital. My mom is diabetic but doesn't test although she does take medicine. So her blood sugar has been up and down. Blood pressure has been low which is weird as she has high blood pressure normally. CT and MRI were good (since she fell and hit her head on the tile because she was dizzy). Doctors are worried about her kidney function. Hopefully they get it figured out and she can come home soon. I took yesterday off of work and went and visited her at the hospital twice. And had my therapy appointment.

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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 12:19 PM
  #463
I hope your mom will be ok Kit

I couldn't bring the phenibut on the plane. It makes me feel better. I'm desperate to just stop this depression.
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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 12:29 PM
  #464
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Mom is in the hospital. Went by ambulance on Monday. She had been weak, fatigued/exhausted, dizzy, no appetite etc for like a week. She got so week and she was shaky when she tried to stand up. Dad called the ambulance Monday night. She got admitted into the hospital. My mom is diabetic but doesn't test although she does take medicine. So her blood sugar has been up and down. Blood pressure has been low which is weird as she has high blood pressure normally. CT and MRI were good (since she fell and hit her head on the tile because she was dizzy). Doctors are worried about her kidney function. Hopefully they get it figured out and she can come home soon. I took yesterday off of work and went and visited her at the hospital twice. And had my therapy appointment.

I hope she gets better soon

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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 12:37 PM
  #465
I have no energy
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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 03:57 PM
  #466
I had a good talk with my cousin - I kind of vented about depression, my mushroom overdose and infinite nihilism etc.. But mostly we talked about family, her exciting things, ate lunch..

It was nice. Now I'm just chillin' out again - The Dexedrine and pregabalin kicked in, so I feel almost completely fine.. I'm awake.

I'll attend to the goals again..
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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 04:10 PM
  #467
I feel depressed. Bummer.

I texted T because I don't know how to self soothe. She basically said it is trial and error until you find something that works for you. I've read through some lists of things to self soothe and none of them sound helpful, particularly when I am at work. This makes SH very attractive!

Feel kind of bummed because T wasn't helpful. Maybe I am never going to get better.

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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 04:47 PM
  #468
Depression is an evil thing. It wants to suck the life from everyone. Have to survive. Love is an answer to this. Hugs.

Think of it as a parasite. We are stronger. Parasites have to be covered in sea salt.
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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 06:47 PM
  #469
I’m considering stopping the abilify and Thorazine. I’m sick of the weight gain and I don’t want to wait until my next appointment with my doctor to ask to come off them, also she probably wouldn’t think it’s a good idea. But I think it’s fine.

I don’t want a replacement for them. I just want to get off them. And stay on my Zoloft and trileptal (mood stabilizer.)

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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 07:04 PM
  #470
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I’m considering stopping the abilify and Thorazine. I’m sick of the weight gain and I don’t want to wait until my next appointment with my doctor to ask to come off them, also she probably wouldn’t think it’s a good idea. But I think it’s fine.

I don’t want a replacement for them. I just want to get off them. And stay on my Zoloft and trileptal (mood stabilizer.)

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I think every time you go off the Thorazine you end up not sleeping. Keep that in mind.

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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 08:06 PM
  #471
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I think every time you go off the Thorazine you end up not sleeping. Keep that in mind.

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Yeah that’s true, it’s really frustrating. I just want to get back to a weight in the normal bmi range and not be overweight anymore. I’ve been trying to lose weight but it is just stuck at 175 lbs and has been for almost a year. It’s like nothing I do actually makes a difference

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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 08:11 PM
  #472
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Yeah that’s true, it’s really frustrating. I just want to get back to a weight in the normal bmi range and not be overweight anymore. I’ve been trying to lose weight but it is just stuck at 175 lbs and has been for almost a year. It’s like nothing I do actually makes a difference

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BMI is full of **** anyway. Even when I was height of my anorexia years ago and small I was considered obese by the BMI. It doesn’t account for bone structure and muscle mass. I wouldn’t hold too much worth over it at all.

The number on the scale doesn’t matter. As long as you have healthy habits and good lab test results it doesn’t really matter.

Is your doctor concerned about your weight? If not I wouldn’t really worry about it.

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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 08:17 PM
  #473
I realized I haven’t looked at the toxic anorexia discords in a few days. I haven’t been super worried about food lately either. I’m mindful to not go crazy binging, but I’ve been pretty good.

I feel I’m slowly getting better.

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Default Mar 22, 2023 at 10:35 PM
  #474
So what I need to do is this!..;

Once I get a little bit tired (And before that, prepare a podcast to listen to), I lie down, and listen.. But not before I become TOO tired/exhausted, that I have no more mental energy, and then end up thinking myself to death (With my own thoughts instead)

Yknow?

And I talked with my sister for an hour, about the thoughts on my mind.. It helped.. She would be a really good therapist.

And I appreciate all of you for putting up with me these past years <3
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Default Mar 23, 2023 at 03:41 AM
  #475
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BMI is full of **** anyway. Even when I was height of my anorexia years ago and small I was considered obese by the BMI. It doesn’t account for bone structure and muscle mass. I wouldn’t hold too much worth over it at all.

The number on the scale doesn’t matter. As long as you have healthy habits and good lab test results it doesn’t really matter.

Is your doctor concerned about your weight? If not I wouldn’t really worry about it.

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No my doctor isn’t concerned about my weight

I’m trying to have healthy habits

I need to stop obsessing over it I guess

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Default Mar 23, 2023 at 06:18 AM
  #476
Going to the food pantry today to get some food, I'm completely out of food and don't have any foodstamps left for the rest of the month

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Default Mar 23, 2023 at 06:24 AM
  #477
I woke up at 2:30am and I did something to my back while I was sleeping and it hurts, pulled a muscle or something. When I woke up Mustachio was laying on me And I wasn't tired so I just stayed up and have been watching Scream 3. It's around 7:30am now. Gotta head out to the food pantry soon

Then later this afternoon I have a foodstamps recertification interview over phone. After that I have an appointment with my therapist over video.

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Default Mar 23, 2023 at 08:33 AM
  #478
I got a lot of good stuff from the food pantry.

One of the things was this whole cheesecake
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 230B10C1-6D2D-4BBF-A2DC-10059E2C52B3.jpg (372.3 KB, 8 views)

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Default Mar 23, 2023 at 08:39 AM
  #479
They really piled on the desserts today 😂

The donuts are lemon filled
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File Type: jpg DEF5B29B-A0C9-4427-BED1-2936C461F07B.jpg (291.3 KB, 8 views)
File Type: jpg 1C78B502-1B94-4389-8B51-9D5CC6CCF64E.jpg (212.1 KB, 7 views)

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Default Mar 23, 2023 at 08:39 AM
  #480
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They really piled on the desserts today Roll Call 198

The donuts are lemon filled

Mmmmm I miss a good lemon filled donut. Or jam buster.

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