Roll Call 202

Have a job interview at McDonalds on Feb. 22nd

Good luck!!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks! I hope I get it! I mean I know it’s gonna suck and be overwhelming but if I can stick it out 6 months that would be great.

Any tips for working in fast food when you have severe social anxiety and panic attacks

We’re doing a fundraiser for the rescue cats. It’s completely optional but I decided to go ahead and do it. I have a box of full sized 30 candy bars to sell for $2 each bar. Then I’ll give the lady the money sometime later in Feb when I’m done selling them. My bf is gonna buy a couple and my sister said she’d buy a couple too. I’ll figure out the rest. Worst comes to worst I just pay for the rest myself and it goes to a good cause so I have no problem with that

So far my sister is buying 5 of them, my friend is buying 2, and my bf is gonna buy some as well

Slept for solid 12 hours. Date **** drugging myself makes my heart beat weirdly, so I can't do that anymore - I thought I'd be able to just take sips while socializing this summer instead of using alcohol, oh well..

Vyvanse and phenibut now, and I will try to organize my life..

Mostly good days recently. I became so suicidal for so long that my mind broke, and now I'm okay.

I hope things are a bit better today, unsure.

Sent from my moto g 5G - 2023 using Tapatalk

Thanks Angelique, I do feel a bit better today. Hope you're well.

Got a message on LinkedIn about an opportunity to work for a major bank and make $60k but it’s not something I was too interested in. But I’m flattered.

It got me thinking about my future in my career. I like where I am in insurance sales but I don’t like to sit still for too long. I want to advance. I want to make money good position high wage. I make about $47k a year right now. I’ll get a raise and a bonus later this month but I want to make more.

There’s only so much I can get out of this department. So I started looking at certificates and stuff I can take to advance.

I registered for the first of three courses in this CRM risk management designation and it starts in a couple weeks. I’m excited!

If anything this will add letters to my name and give me experience.

Just thinking about the future.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My mental health is very wobbly

Had a good violin lesson tonight. Some of my homework between now and two weeks from now is to transpose Sadness and Sorrow from Naruto into a lower Octave. And to transpose Dawning of the Day into a Higher Octave. So write out the songs on my staff/manuscript paper in the respective octaves she requested. So that’s gonna be good practice. And of course I’m gonna practice both songs in both octaves. We worked on Dawning of the Day today. We mostly worked on getting the timing right for dotted half notes and dotted quarter notes and the time signature counting. Once I get those two songs down in both octaves and the timing right etc we’ll probably start working on Vivaldi’s Concerto in A Minor.

I already paid for next weekends lesson so I’m all set for that.

She’s here

The guy who passed away in the apartment next to me, where I got the kitty from, his apartment has so much stuff in there it’s unbelievable. Maintenance is working on cleaning it out now , I had to go over there in order to get the cat, and I could barely walk in there , I think he may have been a hoarder. Anyway, the cat (which I named mocha) is unbelievably adorable. She’s scared. It will take a few months for her to adjust. But I already love her

Mocha still hasn’t come out of the bathroom but I sat in there for an hour on the floor and petted her and talked to her this morning. She’s so snuggly. She’s so sweet. It will take her time to adjust. But I can already tell she’s gonna be an awesome cat

Hope everyone has a good day (:

Mocha is doing really well. She’s eating, drinking, using the litterbox, exploring all over the apartment. She’s a little sweetheart. Mustachios still a little bewildered by her lol

Soon it will be time to vape. I hope my friend will cash the check soon, I paid him for the phone and vaping stuff. I need to know how much I have left.

I'm gaining weight and I'm alarmed. I'm not eating that much more.

Sent from my moto g 5G - 2023 using Tapatalk

My kitties are doing well.

I’ve been forcing myself to take a 15 min walk every single day. Partly to overcome my agoraphobia and partly for weight loss. I use pokemon go to motivate myself to walk. I also have been making myself sit outside for at least 30 minutes a day, and drink coffee and read a book while I’m out there. It’s just a really good way to get myself out of my apartment. I also got a year free trial to Balance which is an awesome meditation app so I’ve been using that every day for around 20-45 minutes per day meditating.

Eventually I’ll up the walking to like a 30-40 minute walk daily but that will be in time when I build stamina because I’m really out of shape now and get worn out easily.

I’ve been using the pokemon sleep app/game to motivate myself to go to sleep every night and not pull all nighters. So I’ve slept every night the past three nights in a row.

Oh and I’ve been putting my phone away at least an hour before bed and reading a physical paperback book till I’m tired enough to sleep. Trying to cut back o my screen time. My daily average lately is 9 1/2 hours. That’s insane. I want it below 4 hours.

I have a violin lesson tomorrow. So I need to practice later. My bf has a three day weekend off work so we’ll probably play some yugioh and watch Naruto later and throughout the weekend. Probably watch a movie too. Last weekend we watched Spirited Away. We alternate who picks the movie each weekend.

I still wish people that didn't like my post have a good day

Yeah, I'm going full BPD. Now my attention won't be of any of this after this post.

But then again, no one has to like a post if they don't want to, so it's all good ^-;

Are you okay Desoxyn? I’m sorry for not liking your post, I haven’t been on here as much and when I do come on I just post a quick update then leave since hardly anyone posts anymore, and I’ve been busy with my new cat and other things. When I don’t like a post it doesn’t mean anything personal or that I don’t like it it just means Ive been busy or distracted.

I get the same way when people don’t like my post

I have BPD and get my feelings hurt really easily over nothing or imagined things, but it’s gotten better over time and I’ve learned to ignore it and to not care as much

I think my hobbies help too. Like playing violin, videogames, reading , volunteering,they provide a good distraction and also my bf helps a lot too.