In huge trouble

But again, it stopped being about the grade when he said something was wrong with my paper and refused to explain what that was. All I wanted was an explanation, the grade at that point had already been submitted and posted so it wasnt about that.

I wanted to know why he felt the need to be lenient in grading my paper, like I should be grateful he didn't deduct more than 20 points.

I don't think your email exchanges were disrespectful necessarily. A bit overly persistent, yes. Your professor, in my opinion, did handle the situation professionally and fairly. From what I gather, your paper was only docked points for being late, which affected your final grade. It is my understanding many grad schools do not even accept a final assignment if it's late unless a dire, documented circumstance has arisen, so I think you were very fortunate with that. It sounds like your paper was great. It was an A-, due only to lateness. Minus the possibility of a few grammatical errors, it doesn't seem like there is any feedback to give you for you to learn from.

Since you needed to pursue this situation, I think you would have been better served to have followed-up with the chair person for your requested appointment well before the 3 weeks that went by. Yes, she should have contacted you to set up an appointment as she said she would, but after a few days of not hearing back from her you should have again contacted her.

Calling the professor an asshole to your friend where others were able to hear is unprofessional, and demonstrated very poor judgement. I know we are all only human, but there are times and places where doing such a thing cannot happen. Given the field you are going into makes this a bit more concerning.

I think there is also major concern about requesting to switch out of the new class because of this professor. To just up and request a switch out due to a grade he gave you which was affected by the late submission of your final throws up a few red flags as well. This could be viewed by your advisor as "running from the so-called problem" which is yet another concern, especially in the therapy field.

It is my guess the mix of these things is what led to the disciplinary action referral. I can certainly sympathize with your depression situation. It's not fair, and it's not your fault that you were hit with severe depression. Just as your final grade earned is not the fault of the professor. I do hope you can find a way to accept responsibility for what has transpired and work to resolve the situation professionally. You make AWESOME grades so I know you can do this!

Energy that would be better spent developing coping skills to better manage real or perceived unfairness.

I have sat on disciplinary boards and would like to make a few comments. I am an MD in a very high ranking academic institution and know what I'm talking about. I'm not a very good writer, I'm much more clear and coherent speaking. My comments will seem harsh. If we were talking in person, I would seem much more pleasant and I'd be able to get my points across in a more helpful manner.


You are intelligent and hardworking.


An A- is a good grade.


Many of your posts on PC are very argumentative. You do not accept criticism well. You tend to argue that you are right.


Posting recordings of sessions and conversations is very unprofessional in my opinion. I feel very strongly about this. Frankly, I'm shocked at some of your posted recordings.


If, during the the disciplinary board meeting, you become argumentative or aggressive, in any way, things will go very badly for you. Even if you feel you are right and they are wrong.


Your role is to sit there and be calm, interested in what they have to say, and be very accepting and agreeable. Even if it killing you internally.


This is contingent on the assumption that you want to stay in the program. Even if you want to take some time off, if you plan to continue your studies, you will need letters of reference.


You must keep your ***** together.


I know it's hard to hear criticism, or that someone isn't listening to you. I really do.


Many times, you have to just play the game the way they want.


Before the meeting, you may want to write down some positive, agreeable, and accepting responses to things you think they may say. Maybe even practice saying them, in front of a mirror, so you can see your facial and bodily reactions to hearing them criticizing you.


This is important. The odds of winning the "game" are increased if you are prepared.


Good luck to you. Please consider what I've said, and what other posters have said, thoughtfully, before going before the board.

How is it an ethical problem? There is no expectation of confidentiality with e-mail. I havent violated any ethics by sharing this.

And- Im borderline. Clearly I have severe issues with interpersonal relations, I know that and my department chair knows that as I have shared it with her, that I struggle with that. It's something I am working on, how can I be expected to enter graduate school a ready made Professional and behave like a therapist when I am two years away from becoming one? I am a STUDENT.

Fyi - as ive been there, done that - the receptionist is not your friend. She works for the university, esp for the program chair.


What were you thinking, when she called you to come meet with her "right this minute", that you would think it was okay to tell her to wait an hour? You were just there in the office a minute ago. She saw you. I understand about you feeling tearful and emotional, but do you see how self-centered that made you look? You had no consideration for her schedule for the rest of the day. Its not like you were bartering the price of a car or a cantelope and she was looking for you to make a counteroffer. I think she referred you for discipline because it appeared you were refusing to come in. You had no excuse not to come in.


You keep saying now you will take xanax to get thru it, instead of responding to anyone here. I would like to see you figure out why you refused to meet when called. I would give a million bucks to have the guts to do that. "I cant right now, how about in an hour?" Or was it painful to do it? Were you just too scared to go? You must have known she only had "now" available; there would be no "later".


Obviously this means something to me personally; not sure what yet, my mother scaring me played out at my work. Anyway, Thanks for sharing.

Can I make a suggestion to the OP:
Take some time for yourself cool down and reread the thread. There are plenty of helpful responses. TAKE THEM. It might help you tremendously.

Already done so, copied down the ones I found helpful, thank you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Already done so, copied down the ones I found helpful, thank you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The objectively helpful ones?

Gotcha, appreciate the clarification!

Oh, what'll probably happen is they'll scare the heck out of you and rub it in your face, trying to get you to explode right there in the room. They might raise their voices or something. Just stay on point and don't let their emotions get to you. Pretend they are your future clients and keep a wise mind. If they accept your apology, they'll probably want to exert some kind of "action plan" or other stuff, "so (from their perspective) this doesn't happen again". It might be helpful to think about things to say when they ask about this not happening again. You can do this!

I remember going through school, the faculty would falsely accuse every student in the class of all kinds of violations, just to test how professional they could be in the face of adversity. Bugger the ivory towers!

Gotcha, appreciate the clarification!

Oh, what'll probably happen is they'll scare the heck out of you and rub it in your face, trying to get you to explode right there in the room. They might raise their voices or something. Just stay on point and don't let their emotions get to you. Pretend they are your future clients and keep a wise mind. If they accept your apology, they'll probably want to exert some kind of "action plan" or other stuff, "so (from their perspective) this doesn't happen again". It might be helpful to think about things to say when they ask about this not happening again. You can do this!

I remember going through school, the faculty would falsely accuse every student in the class of all kinds of violations, just to test how professional they could be in the face of adversity. Bugger the ivory towers!

I think thats tautological.