[Perna]

Hmm. Have to deconstruct the problem first before one can solve it.

1. What does self-confidence and assertiveness mean to you?

2. Do you see a difference between assertive and aggressive?

3. Why (When) do you not feel self-confident?

4. Who is/can be your self-confident "model"?

5. What are some baby steps you can take to begin being more self-confident and assertive?



1. Not being afraid to speak up when I believe I have something to say.

2. Assertive is making sure I'm not stepped on whereas aggressive is trying to push my beliefs and truths onto someone else.

3. I feel least self-confident (you mean there's degrees of self-confidence????) when I believe/feel someone else is being aggressive.

4. My husband can be/is my self-confident model.

5. Pay attention when my husband is acting self-confident, when things start feeling scary and I want to "run" and just watch what he says and does instead of trying to get away or smooth things over, etc. Watch others as a "scientist" to see how others do things that are difficult for me. At the same time, acknowledge my own feelings and see if I can see what triggers them, do "logical progression" to worst case scenario to help calm about anything "bad" happening.

I'll have to think about your questions. They are very good. The one where you said your husband could be a model for you struck me. My husband is very self-confident & I get angry that he feels so good about himself while I feel lousy about myself. I often think I would like to say something to "bring him down a peg or two." I know that is an awful way to be about your spouse. It's not his fault that he feels good & I feel like crap. I'm just jealous of his security in himself.--Suzy

[Fuzzybear]

[(JD)]

How are you doing on these Perna? (((hugs)))