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  #126  
Old Jan 30, 2024, 12:04 AM
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LadyShadow LadyShadow is offline
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Yes I agree @Tart Cherry Jam that it's great that we are all posting here together, keeping track of one another. Thank you so much for this thread. Thanks too @SquarePegGuy for checking out my blog, I will respond to your comment tonight, I really appreciate the support.

I am really struggling you guys. This thing with my husband is wrecking and tormenting my soul. I keep thinking back to the man that he used to be, and I know that he is mentally unwell, and it just brings guilt, shame and remorse on my spirit.

I was robbed of sleep again last night. I didn't even use my CPAP at ALL. That was the first time in a long time I haven't used my machine. My husband called me and told me I have to send him my bank cards because I am an imposter, and I am not who I say I am. It hurts so bad. I know I have to cut him off completely. I know it's his delusions talking, but it's robbing me of sleep and peace of mind. I napped today a couple of times, but I am really struggling. Praying that I get sleep tonight. Hope I don't get in too much trouble with the insurance company for skipping my machine last night, I know they are funny about that.
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  #127  
Old Jan 30, 2024, 01:18 AM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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The insurance companies require 80% compliance rate, I believe. They cannot require 100% compliance. What if you have the flu and cannot breathe with the CPAP on die to a stuffy nose? What if you are traveling and found that taking the CPAP with you was impractical? And there might be other reasons. Do not worry but just get back on track.

How cruel of your husband to call you an impostor. Pray do not send him bank carda.
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Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
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  #128  
Old Jan 30, 2024, 01:18 AM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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10:20 pm going to bed
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Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
  #129  
Old Jan 30, 2024, 10:37 AM
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LadyShadow LadyShadow is offline
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@Tart Cherry Jam - He can be very cruel, but I always make excuses for his illness when he is like that, and I NEED to stop doing that for the sake of my own mental health and peace of mind.

Thanks for letting me know that about the compliance piece. I didn't sleep with my machine AGAIN last night, and I don't really have a reason for it, other than I had a bad episode and just ripped off the mask and rolled over and went to sleep. I slept HORRIBLY and woke up with my head in a total fog.

Really suffering these days. I went to bed at 1am and woke up at 4am then finally at 6am. I will try again with the CPAP tonight- I just need to get in a peaceful place to be comfortable enough to sleep with it.
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  #130  
Old Jan 30, 2024, 10:54 PM
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SquarePegGuy SquarePegGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam View Post
The insurance companies require 80% compliance rate, I believe. They cannot require 100% compliance. What if you have the flu and cannot breathe with the CPAP on die to a stuffy nose? What if you are traveling and found that taking the CPAP with you was impractical? And there might be other reasons. Do not worry but just get back on track.

How cruel of your husband to call you an impostor. Pray do not send him bank carda.
Didn't know about the minimum compliance part of it - thank you! I've had to keep the mask off due to irritation on the bridge of the nose that got infected. But that was way back in 2006 or 2007.

But the real reason the insurance company refused to pay for my replacement machine was because I could not demonstrate any compliance -- I could not get at the data. This machine required a special cable. Plus the sleep doctor wanted to increase the pressure settings, but he couldn't -- the front panel didn't work either.
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  #131  
Old Jan 30, 2024, 10:58 PM
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SquarePegGuy SquarePegGuy is offline
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Hope everything improves for you very soon @LadyShadow!
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Nuvigil 50mg 150mg; Wellbutrin 150mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol
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Thanks for this!
Tart Cherry Jam
  #132  
Old Jan 30, 2024, 11:18 PM
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LadyShadow LadyShadow is offline
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Thanks so much @SquarePegGuy I am feeling a bit better right now.

I took a three-hour nap around noon and now I am wide awake. Will attempt to take my meds and sleep before I have to get up at 6am - I have a long day tomorrow.

It's currently 11:17pm and I will attempt to go to bed now. Good seeing you guys, hopefully @Tart Cherry Jam makes an appearance tonight!
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  #133  
Old Jan 31, 2024, 12:38 AM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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Here I am! I ended up not taking a nap today but for that, I had to take another 2.5 mg of Dezedrone after lunch. It did not kick in eight but ultimately it did, allowing me to enjoy a team dinner. Doe a short while, Dexedrine kicked in too much, making me feel as id my heart was about to jump out of my chest, but that unpleasant feeling went away soon.

Now I need to take my nighttime meds, change the filter, change the nasal piece, and go to bed. I need to be up at 7:30 tomorrow which for me is early.

Last night I woke up hungry. I ate tuna and eggs salad, on whole rye crackers and drank milk. I probably woke up hungry because I had had a light supper. So eight now, even though I am not hungry, I will eat preemptively, hoping to then not need to eat in the middle of the night.
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Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
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  #134  
Old Jan 31, 2024, 02:12 AM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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I cannot believe what just happened. Wow! I cannot wait to tell you guys but not now.

11:10 PM going to bed, all ready to sleep
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
Hugs from:
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  #135  
Old Jan 31, 2024, 10:20 PM
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SquarePegGuy SquarePegGuy is offline
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I can't wait to hear! It's 10:20 over here -- way too late because of this bank account business again. Yaaawn. Goodnight, toodles!
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Nuvigil 50mg 150mg; Wellbutrin 150mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol
Thanks for this!
LadyShadow, Tart Cherry Jam
  #136  
Old Jan 31, 2024, 11:13 PM
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LadyShadow LadyShadow is offline
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Can't wait to hear the story too! I am officially exhausted. Going to take a nice warm shower before bed, I had such a long day today I couldn't even nap once.

Woke up at 6am this morning after only getting about 5 hours of sleep. I should sleep a full night's sleep tonight. Calling a night around midnight tonight. Good seeing you guys, sweet dreams!
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Thanks for this!
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  #137  
Old Feb 01, 2024, 12:59 AM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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Sweet dreams! Completely exhausted even though had 8 hrs 25 minutes of net sleep (not time in bed but net sleep per Oura) in the last 24 hours. Have to go to bed. 10 PM good night!
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
Hugs from:
LadyShadow
Thanks for this!
LadyShadow
  #138  
Old Feb 02, 2024, 01:21 AM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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10:19 PM
night-night

very tired

off Dexedrine for two days

hypersomnia is ongoing

had to stop Dexedrine because of physical side effects

agreed with the pdoc today that I would wait until Dexedrine washes out of my symptom (meaning: the side effects go away) before we start experimenting with anything new
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
Hugs from:
LadyShadow, SquarePegGuy
Thanks for this!
LadyShadow
  #139  
Old Feb 02, 2024, 04:45 PM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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I need a nap to be able to function in the late afternoon and evening.
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
Hugs from:
LadyShadow, SquarePegGuy
Thanks for this!
LadyShadow
  #140  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 01:12 AM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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10: 45 PM going to bed.
Wish me luck not having hunger pangs at night: I have a fasting blood test tomorrow morning. Ate a lot during supper, finishing eating at 9. Ate more than I wanted to, hoping to be preemptive with it.
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38

Last edited by Tart Cherry Jam; Feb 03, 2024 at 01:45 AM.
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  #141  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 01:57 AM
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LadyShadow LadyShadow is offline
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Late night tonight, its almost 2am and I'm not in bed yet. Spoke to my husband, and he is still very much in love with me. Somehow, I need that kind of validation for me to be able to rest. I think that's beyond dysfunction, but you know what, whatever I need to get to sleep, I don't care. Not talking to him, and avoiding him, has caused me immeasurable unrest and pain.

I did sleep 8 and a half hours last night, YAY! But I think that was from total exhaustion.

Got some bad news tonight too which kept me up - my insurance didn't pay for my CPAP supplies. I have a $400 deductible, so they will be taking $258.00 from me next week to pay for it because I haven't met that stupid deductible yet. I just can't catch a break.

@Tart Cherry Jam - I totally get sleeping over 8 hours and still being sleeping. With all the sleep I had last night, I was falling asleep at work today, (irony that I am wide awake now), but also, if I am really hungry it wakes me up at night too, I understand that struggle.

I like that we are trying to go to bed at the same time every night, it's really a good routine. Hope @SquarePegGuy has been sleeping well too.

Sweet dreams!
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  #142  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 09:00 AM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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So you, too, are woken up by hunger in the middle of the night...
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
  #143  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 10:58 AM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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I did not need to eat at night. I will be able to show up for my fasting blood draw now. Success.
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
  #144  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 03:36 PM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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Success! I can't believe my luck. I made it to the blood draw appointment on time, then had to wait and the blood was drawn at 9:30 am. Last night I finished eating supper at 8:30 pm. So 13 hours without food. For me it is a lot.

Was alert and happy, went to a fitness session and then to my manicurist. Started feeling drowsy as she was working on my nails.

Now I will go grocery shopping, then eat lunch quickly, then take a nap.
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
  #145  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 05:23 PM
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SquarePegGuy SquarePegGuy is offline
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I think the deductible on the plan my wife and I share is $750 for each of us, so I know the feeling, @LadyShadow. But I'm lucky in that my employer allows me to use a Flexible Spending Account, which they fund by deducting from my paycheck. It provides a lot of "cushion" because I can withdraw more than I've paid into it, up to the annual limit.

I went to bed at 11pm last night. I didn't fall asleep immediately even though I skipped my dose of Effexor. When I woke up at about 4:15am, I decided to feed the cats as I used to do. Then I went back to bed at 5pm, but I had the chills and had trouble falling back to sleep. The next thing I know I wake up from a vivid dream and, whoa, it's 8am!
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  #146  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 08:58 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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My GI says I have to eat three hours before bed. But he mentioned not just before sleeping but before laying down/reclining (I like to lay down an hour before actual sleeping and read or watch something). Do I literally have to eat before I even get home from work? I have long commute. Should I eat in a car? Lol Doesn’t even make sense.
  #147  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 09:05 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShadow View Post
Yes I agree @Tart Cherry Jam that it's great that we are all posting here together, keeping track of one another. Thank you so much for this thread. Thanks too @SquarePegGuy for checking out my blog, I will respond to your comment tonight, I really appreciate the support.

I am really struggling you guys. This thing with my husband is wrecking and tormenting my soul. I keep thinking back to the man that he used to be, and I know that he is mentally unwell, and it just brings guilt, shame and remorse on my spirit.

I was robbed of sleep again last night. I didn't even use my CPAP at ALL. That was the first time in a long time I haven't used my machine. My husband called me and told me I have to send him my bank cards because I am an imposter, and I am not who I say I am. It hurts so bad. I know I have to cut him off completely. I know it's his delusions talking, but it's robbing me of sleep and peace of mind. I napped today a couple of times, but I am really struggling. Praying that I get sleep tonight. Hope I don't get in too much trouble with the insurance company for skipping my machine last night, I know they are funny about that.
It’s ok to skip some nights. It happens. My husband sleeps with cpap and there’ve been times when we lost power and it was too late to go to a hotel etc so no CPAP or something else happened. They understand that.
Thanks for this!
Tart Cherry Jam
  #148  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 09:19 PM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SquarePegGuy View Post
I think the deductible on the plan my wife and I share is $750 for each of us, so I know the feeling, @LadyShadow. But I'm lucky in that my employer allows me to use a Flexible Spending Account, which they fund by deducting from my paycheck. It provides a lot of "cushion" because I can withdraw more than I've paid into it, up to the annual limit.
I did it for the first time in 2023. Withdrew a little more than I paid into it. That sure felt pleasant. I am again putting money into the FSA this year, up to the annual limit.
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
  #149  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 09:20 PM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2021
Location: California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
My GI says I have to eat three hours before bed. But he mentioned not just before sleeping but before laying down/reclining (I like to lay down an hour before actual sleeping and read or watch something). Do I literally have to eat before I even get home from work? I have long commute. Should I eat in a car? Lol Doesn’t even make sense.
Does not make any sense. A common but completely unrealistic recommendation.
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
  #150  
Old Feb 03, 2024, 09:23 PM
Tart Cherry Jam Tart Cherry Jam is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam View Post
Success! I can't believe my luck. I made it to the blood draw appointment on time, then had to wait and the blood was drawn at 9:30 am. Last night I finished eating supper at 8:30 pm. So 13 hours without food. For me it is a lot.

Was alert and happy, went to a fitness session and then to my manicurist. Started feeling drowsy as she was working on my nails.

Now I will go grocery shopping, then eat lunch quickly, then take a nap.
The price for this productive and alert morning and afternoon was a super long nap. 3 hours in bed, of which 2 hrs 20 minutes of net sleep, with a lot of deep sleep, more than during this past night. I actually still feel somewhat out of it, probably because the sleep was so deep.

I need to listen to recordings of a 2023 conference on youtube. I have already listened to a lot, but there are more, as the whole conference, which I did not attend, lasted two full days. In an attempt to break through this fog, I will go row (slowly!) on a rowing machine while listening to recordings. It is not as good as watching them because I will miss slides, but it is better than nothing.

Normally this does not happen to me. Normally when I take naps and even late naps, I wake up alert. I guess today is different.
__________________
Bipolar I w/psychotic features
Last inpatient stay in 2018

Lybalvi 10 mg
Naltrexone 75 mg


Gabapentin 1500 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects)

Long-term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued:
- Hypothyroidism
- Obesity BMI ~ 38
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