 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Dec 08, 2011, 12:05 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Can't stop thinking about sui, any aspect of it. Need to study, but my mind is distracting me quite a bit. I hate this... what more can I do?
Few minutes later I did study, I just hope i do well on my final. I will try to stay around people today/in public places, other than that I don't know what more I can do. I will exercise after lab, to see if that will help. Any other suggestions are greatly appreciated. Last edited by puzzclar; Dec 08, 2011 at 12:31 PM. Reason: time |
|
#2
Dec 08, 2011, 12:55 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You know what im going to say puzzlecar. First of all, hugs if thats ok. Second call T or pdoc if you have one. Third call suicide hotline or drive to er if you are in immediate danger. Please stay safe. I like you are staying around people too. Tell a friend. Friend could
take you to T or er. The suicide hotline i found is 1-800-273-8255 |
|
#3
Dec 08, 2011, 03:54 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm tempted, thats all. If things get worse then I'll call a friend, but I still have work to get thorugh, Finals are next week. I have to be here for them. and no I haven't called my T or pdoc, but I did take my meds today.
The cause of the thoughts is simple I wrote a paper on suicide prevention, it was tough, and I am feeling everyone elses stress, which doesn't help me at all. And I'm afraid of the sememster ending, and life changing once again. I know this is all fear. It's been fear that has driven me to si or sui, or to stay away from relationships. I'm afraid. |
|
#4
Dec 08, 2011, 06:03 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Sorry, puzzlecar. But isnt there always another semester? There's always something ahead.
|
|
#5
Dec 08, 2011, 09:00 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
There are always another, but I have to finish the one I'm on. I want to do well, but still the desire for sui is still there. I know where I should be, but I have to finish this semester.
I did contact someone. I'll be with someone tonight, but I'm so scared. Last edited by puzzclar; Dec 08, 2011 at 09:50 PM. Reason: time |
|
#6
Dec 08, 2011, 10:46 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Puzzlcar, im proud of you. (((Puzzcar)))
|
|
#7
Dec 09, 2011, 12:27 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
We talked for awhile last night. It kind of helped. But I hate having my head in a fog. It makes learning very difficult. I'm still scared of the days to come. I'm scared that SI may be the only way to get my mind back. I'll try exercise again, and see if that helps for the rest of the day. I should be writing a paper right now, but I have no desire to do so.
|
|
#8
Dec 10, 2011, 02:02 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Exercize is good alternative to si, they both release endorphins. I wish i had all the answers for you.
|
|
#9
Dec 10, 2011, 03:17 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
me too. I do have a friend that is definately concerned. I don't want to go back to the mental hospital. I just can't go back around Christmas again. I've been there, and all I wanted was to be with my family, not there. I can't deal with that right now. people need me, that's one thing that is keeping me. Great reason right? I'm trying to get away from the thoughts, but they just keep coming. I may have talked myself out of it this time.... but I'm still scared of the future. and I want to hide this from my family, they don't need this right now. Only two people that are close to me know about what's going on. and I intend to keep it that way. I hate telling people. well got to try to write a paper.
|
 Anonymous324956
|
|
#10
Dec 11, 2011, 01:27 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((Puzzlcar))))
|
|
#11
Dec 11, 2011, 02:16 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Puzzclar - Really hoping you are doing ok. I can relate to not wanting to be in the hospital at Christmas. I was last year, and it's not fun for you or your family, but worse for everyone would be if you acted on the sui thoughts (I know, easy for me to say, and I totally feel like a hypocrite for saying it when I have a hard time with it myself, but it's really the truth of it)
|
| puzzclar
|
 puzzclar
|
|
#12
Dec 11, 2011, 06:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Very true, I haven't acted on them, but I did research the plan a bit, and decided I don't want that much pain if someone where to find me. I"m okay for now, I do have a few people that know, but its still hard.
I've learned the art of faking how you really are doing, and I do it very well. No one knows what really is going on except those that I have told. 4 people know who are irl and around me. nicole, I've also been in a MH around Christmas, actually I got out on Christmas eve. and I don't want that again, especially this close to Christmas. I've actually driven by the one I was in earlier this year. I have told myself several times that I won't be going back. Don't know if that is a good thing or not. Just have to wait and see. But I'll try to stay focused on other things. I can do this.... I have to do this... I must keep it from some people. I can do this. |
|
#13
Dec 11, 2011, 10:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Puzzlcar, just stay safe and know you are valuable and loved. You also deserve to live.
|
|
#14
Dec 12, 2011, 11:33 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#15
Dec 12, 2011, 12:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thank you, both. I've got finals this week that I'm attempting to study for. But it's harder with what's going on. I have told 2 more people, and there's a part of me that is scared to tell more... okay a big part of me. I just.... the main thing that is keeping me here is for other people, not myself at all. I hate this type of thinking, and I especially hate it when it hurts those around me. I guess this is a good thing, but for me it's a burden. I'm scared, and I really don't know why this type of thinking has come from. But it is getting harder to resist si. Since I can't have sui I'll take si instead, just to get rid of at least part of the pain. Not the best coping skill, but what else can I do?
|
|
#16
Dec 12, 2011, 12:23 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Do you think a big burden will be lifted after finals this week?
SI ing to keep from SU is not a bad choice.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#17
Dec 12, 2011, 12:39 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I have SI'd before to keep from sui. I figured it was better than what I could do. Still not a good option, but better than your other choice.
If you do SI as an alternative, please, be safe (as safe as you can while si'ing). I'm sure you already know what is safer. Please, keep yourself safe. I am trying to do the same. We can get through this together! |
|
#18
Dec 12, 2011, 01:01 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Sannah, no I don't think it will go away after finals. The bigger burden is the sui thoughts. I honestly hate them.
The only problem with si is the method would have to change. the current method just is not enough anymore. And that's one thing I have to consider. All I can say is I'm trying to stay safe. Meaning I'm in a public place, or with at least one person. But my thoughts are the bigger problem. I'm trying to control them so I can think straight to do well on my finals. I have one in an hour and a half. I've been studying for it, I just hope it's enough, and I can get my mind back before, or at least zone in on the test and not the sui or si thoughts. |
|
#19
Dec 12, 2011, 01:27 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Good luck on your tests and stay safe.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| puzzclar
|
|
#20
Dec 12, 2011, 03:54 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
One final down... yea. Now I just have Chemistry and Physics. Back to Back. Haven't Si'ed yet, and being around others helps that.... but what will come tomorrow when I have time alone.... I just hope I'm strong enough to stay away from it.
This is my mind right now....   
|
| Sannah
|
|
#21
Dec 13, 2011, 01:10 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Congrats on your finals!!! That is huge, and you are strong.
|
|
#22
Dec 13, 2011, 01:51 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The bigger issue is when I get home tonight, I'll be alone again. and I'm scared. I'll most likely be on here, for most of the night, along with trying to study, to try and keep my mind in a better position then what it is in now. If I need to, I do have a safety net, but I also know he is trying to study as well, I can't bare to take him away from his studies. and that's the problem, I feel like I need a friend, but don't want to distract them from doing what they need to do.
If I can, I"ll try and stay on campus with people around me for most of the day, It's going to be hard to stay in one place all day long. |
| Sannah
|
|
#23
Dec 14, 2011, 01:01 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Puzzlcar, just do what you have to so you stay safe. You are numbet one proirity right now. Everything else is 2nd or 3rd or 4th or
5th- you get the idea.:-) |
|
#24
Dec 14, 2011, 09:53 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
All finals are done... now to work tomorrow morning. (2:40am) no, it's not early at all. Please let there be NO snow....
Other than that, Finals distracted me a lot. Now that it's gone, I'm not sure what to do with my time, which for me is a big problem. I have tried sticking to a schedule, but can't do it. I've tried, but something always gets in my plan that is totally different then planned. Not to mention, I hate getting up on time for anything but work. (not even school) The sui thoughts have decreased, no si has happened (no opportunity), and distractions are high. |
|
#25
Dec 15, 2011, 12:50 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Glad. I hope worst is over for you. Plse keep taking good care of yourself
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
