I don't really understand why...

I'm so incredibly stressed lately.
My physical health is going down the toilet, which is causing my mental health to do the same.
I'm trying to not do anything stupid, because I have to keep going back to doctors and I can't let them see anything.
But I'm afraid once I get cleared, which is on Feb. 6th that I will start again because I won't have to hide it because swim team will be over 3 days after that.
sgljksdhfhsidjf idk what to do.

Have you talked to your T about it? Sorry i dont know if you are seeing one. It sounds like there is turmoil inside or at least fatigue. Maybe you can do something in your life to remove some stress. Thinking of ya.

Sign up for something after swim team?

If you're having physical problems, that causes stress right there. It's a bad cycle. You either have to relax about yoru physical/mental problems or work hard on taking care of them (and that will relieve the stress).

Sorry you're having a heck of a time, don't think SI is the answer though at any time?

No, I don't have a T.

(((((((mandazzle)))))))))))))

Take it one day at a time... there's still a while until the 6th. If you think you wont do anything before then, then that is really good! After that, (since I just saw you dont have a T) is there anyone you can talk to about this? Someone who can help you out IRL? Or another activity to occupy your time?

I wish you much luck and

(manda)

love you chick it will be ok, theyll have to find out what it is

<center><size=6>Never ... never ... never ... EVER give up!</center></size>

You have friends here who will help you ANYTIME you need us. We're here whether it's -10 outside (as it is here in South Dakota) or 85 (as it is where my adopted daughter, Dani, lives in Buenos Aires) ... whether we're happy (as I am) or sad ourselves. Your friends here have more strength than can even imagine and we <u>want</u> to help you!

Remember ... when you share your troubles, you let others help carry your burden!

GoodMama

Christina: I have my best friend who I talk to about everything, but I just haven't told her about the SI yet. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to...

Dazzle Buddy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??????? You can talk to a few here who S I and Then there is always last resort ,,,, > ME < LOL.....

Darnit , a few Friends here have just now let me know more than I did 24 hrs ago.

Just a thought ...

My daughter says she didn't know how to tell me either. Even though we'd built a good relationship over the year, she still thought if she told me, I'd run away like other people did. She came to visit me and was here on the forums, on my computer, quite a bit. I'd come in the room and she'd tell me a little about what she was reading here. Then she showed me the SI forum.

Maybe because I'd heard of SI before, maybe because she really trusted me more than she thought she did, maybe because she wanted to tell me the last of her deep dark secrets ... I don't know. Whatever lent her the courage (I personally believe God had a hand in it) to tell me, I am grateful.

I think I know how hard it is for you to tell your best friend, Mandazzle. You probably worry that she will run away screaming and that will be the end of the friendship? I wish I could guarantee that wouldn't happen ... but I don't think it will. Try putting yourself in HER shoes for a minute. Would YOU run? Of course not!

I came to these forums to learn all I could about SI so I could help my daughter, not so I could run away feeling superior to her because I can handle my depression in another way! You SI because YOU HURT, <u>not</u> because you want to hurt other people. You come to these forums because there are people here who understand how much YOU HURT to SI. Try trusting your friend, Honey. I hope, if you do, it will begin to uncover some of the reasons you started to SI in the first place ... and by doing that, you will help yourself heal. It's working with my daughter. I'll pray it works for you!

Remember, too, that you always have friends here! People who understand, people who are trying to understand, people who will never desert you. Surround yourself with the love and comfort they offer and take a chance.

I'm sending you lots of warm, gentle hugs!

Good Mama

Well here's the thing.
I know she won't run away because I've told her other things before, and I just know her. She won't run away.
But as soon as I tell her she has to tell my mom... and I don't think I'm ready for that.

i know how hard it is to tell secrets... and i also know how important it is to find safe people to tell them too... if your not ready for your friend to tell your mom then you need to find someone to talk with...here on the board is a great start...but it was really important for me to find someone in real life to tell...when i tried to tell my closest friend she kind of freaked out... so i haven't told her again... i know that the reason she did was because of her concern for me...sometimes it's really hard for people who care about you not too...you know? is there a councilor at your school? sometimes there are local programs... you can check with the crisis center in your area...they can put you in contact with a t in your area that understands si... i know for me my t has been my safe person to tell my secrets...and i know that what is said to him will stay there... that is really important to me... but i also know and need him to hold me accountable when i am unable to do that for myself... i do the same thing as you do... i know i can't cut within a certain window of time between doctors appointments... i don't want my med doc to know about my si... stay safe...and take gentle care of yourself...lyn

I am definitely not telling my mom. It's just out of the question to tell her... idk I just can't.

i understand how hard it is...but if you can't tell your mom...try and find someone you can trust... this is a lot to carry on your own... i will be really honest with you... i never told my mom... and i don't know if it would have made it better if i had (back then they looked at it really differently)... the only person i have ever been honest with is my t... i don't know what your family situation is like so all i can do is tell you from my heart... that as hard as it would be to hear... i wouldn't want my child to be struggling with this on her own... if she couldn't tell me...then i would want her to find someone safe she could...take gentle care of yourself... and be safe... lyn