New Here, Just Thoughts...

I am new, reading thru the boards, my primary probs are depression, anxiety, when I was a teen though, I cut and burned. At the time I had no idea anybody else did those things, I just needed ways to release the pain and to feel real. I was very surprised to learn later that this is fairly common behavior. I did not cut for years, thought grown ups do not handle things this way. Denied that I even felt the urge, said it was ridiculous for a 30some year old woman to feel the need. However, in the last year I had two episodes where I felt overwhelmed and cut myself. I justified it to myself by saying "why is it so bad, it's my coping tool?" But I can't let my husband or my children know, so I know it's not really okay to my mind. I also have learned in the last two yrs. that my middle daughter has had cutting episodes. I did talk to her, she knows that I cut as a teen and I try to understand, but I will never let her know that it is still going on. Is that right or wrong? This is a hard topic for me because I've never been able to feel like this is really a serious problem. I am not suicidal and have never caused myself serious harm, nor has my daughter. I have always felt like, "Well, you do what gets you through the day, and if it works.." Thoughts??

(((((((((((((((((jenn and daughter)))))))))))))))))))) Welcome to PC. Who to share your SI with is a very personal decision and I think you will come to what is right for you. SI is a destructive coping mechanism but yes it is a way to cope that all of us have used at times. Do you think it would be a good idea to have your daughter talk to someone about this? There are other ways to cope when under stress that are not so invasive on your body. At the same time it is so important to give her your love and understanding while she is healing. It is an such an isolating thing that knowing someone understands can be healing in itself. Just a thought.

BB

(((((((((((((Jenn)))))))))))
Here to be supportive =)

((((((((((((((Jenn))))))))))))))))

Welcome to PC.

I'm glad you're there to be a good support for your daughter. I'd say that BB has said it all.

Thanx to all, my daughter actually will not admit to me what she did. Excuses about scratches, other "accidental" hurts, I used them all too. But she knows that I know anyhow, and if she wants to talk to me, she should know she can. We sometimes have a strained relationship, but we try. I've been reading alot of your postings and you've got me thinking about some things. I tend to be very self- analytical. So I think this is good for me.

when you talked to your daughter about cutting... what did you tell her?... did you tell her it was ok?... it's my guess it isn't... sometimes if we look at it from that perspective... we can see the truth... my t has asked me how i would feel if it was my grandbaby cutting?... how would i feel?... what would i tell her?...even if you don't intend to do serious damage... it can still happen... i know that when i am in that place of disassociation... after i start... i am not always able to stop... and it gets deep without my meaning too...lyn