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  #1  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 01:26 PM
pinksoil
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Would you mind sharing your reasons as to why you did?

I can't find a reason to stop that overshadows the vastness of the SI itself. No consequence is big enough, it seems.

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  #2  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 02:17 PM
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I haven't stopped 'altogether,' but I did manage to stop myself the other night. I was in a pretty bad way and was going to SI when I thought "what's the point? It will only make me feel good for a few hours then I'll just feel worse then I already was in the first place!"

Not that its that easy or anything, but next time you wanna SI just bare it in mind that in the end, its not actually going to make you feel any better! Just a thought...

much love, babyg xxx

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  #3  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 03:45 PM
SweetSunshine SweetSunshine is offline
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Pink~

Its hard to stop.. and to do it for the right reasons is harder. And I cant say that I havent slipped up and cut in between. But its not an everyday thing anymore for me. I think the biggest change for me is that I found more positive ways to let go of the pain and anger inside and towards myself and others. Again.. I think going into this process is like not taking a drink or using drugs. You just gotta take it minute by minute.. hour by hour . day by day. Do the best you can for you. Find alternative ways to keep your mind off of hurting yourself by keeping your hands busy with crafts , writing and such. Hope this helps ya out.

Hugz
Beth
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  #4  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 04:22 PM
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I stopped awhile ago. It was very hard to let go and not give in to the rush of it all - but I got tired of all the scars and the constant blood. I still have the urges sometimes, but I know that I will get thru it.

Mary Alice
  #5  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 05:36 PM
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I finally stopped about 3 years ago and have only had one slip since then when I was badly depressed. I was starting to have obssessive thoughts about seriously injuring myself and so I started to be afraid of what I might do to myself if I started. I also got a lot of emotional support and alternative coping suggestions from the bodies under siege web board.

Unfortunately I replaced my si by drinking more which caused even more problems in my life, but now I can say I'm sober and si free.

It's hard work but it is possible to stop.

--splitimage
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  #6  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 07:26 PM
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Well,

I admit - the first time I "quit" was because of a friend of mine. I was trying to "people-please" and thought it would make him happy if I just "quit".

Then he left... and I relapsed.

So I went into therapy (again) and had to decide to quit for myself, and not for anyone else ... even though somedays I hang on because my friends ask me to.

I quit mostly because I know it's bad for me, I know I have an addictive personality... and I know if given the opportunity, I could do some serious damage to myself that would be irreparable, in a very severe sense. I dont want to lie, I dont want to try to hide my scars...

And mostly, I just want to *try* to love myself as people around me seem to love me. And this seems to be a good way to go.

(Not by any means "cured" either.... I switch bad behaviours whenever I'm in a bad mood... and my coping mechanisms aren't fully developped to be completely useful, and for me to be self-sufficient. In time, I hope!)
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  #7  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 08:09 PM
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that is a good model to follow.... i would like to one day.
thanks for telling us that!
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  #8  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 08:13 PM
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the fear of people finding out
  #9  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 10:50 PM
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Well... once people who I loved found out it just hurt me more to see them so worried about me. So that was one reason. Another was being scared of other people finding out. I also had a good dose of cognitive dissonance going on, and so in order for me to believe i could get better one day, i needed to stop behaving in these ways.

that doesn't mean i don't think about it a lot though. I think it's hard to find one specific reason to stop doing it... and in the end, it has to come from within yourself. you have to WANT to stop. Intrinsic motivation all the way...
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  #10  
Old Mar 18, 2008, 11:50 PM
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i haven't stopped for the right reason... since dec 8th i have only cut 1 time... but right now...tonight the only thing stopping me is having to face my t and knowing he will ask...lyn
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  #11  
Old Mar 19, 2008, 01:51 AM
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=(

(((((((( lyn )))))))
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  #12  
Old Mar 19, 2008, 08:02 AM
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I stopped but started again due to overwhelming stress..

The reason I stopped was just that I did not need to do it anymore.. Life was stable.. And I found other ways of channeling stress. I just "dealt" with it. I don't know. I just didn't get the urges to do it. I kinda got over it.

Now, I'm doing it again because I can't seem to unload my burden any other way. It makes the pain physical, not mental, and it's better to have physical pain. Things that can't seem to get resolved get better when there's physical pain.

Don't know if that makes any sense of anyone.. But that's how it is for me.
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  #13  
Old Mar 20, 2008, 12:24 AM
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katie - that makes plenty sense. it is hard sometimes to see our own internal pain - but we are all taught to treat physical pain.
I hope one day you can take care of you internal pain too in a different manner (hope that for all of us)

Hugs, Kiya
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  #14  
Old Mar 22, 2008, 12:50 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
Would you mind sharing your reasons as to why you did?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I reduced the pain and stress in my life so that I no longer needed to do it. (I went for what was causing the problem rather than just fighting the symptoms.) My SI was always caused by emotional pain. Since those days (over 20 years ago), I have had equivalent emotional pain, but somehow, I have managed to "outgrow" the coping response of cutting. It is associated with adolescence for me, and I am an adult now. Does that make sense? Now I use other ways to cope that maybe aren't that great (like withdrawing, avoiding) but at least I am not physically harming myself, and there are some who would say that is preferable.
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  #15  
Old Mar 22, 2008, 01:02 PM
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uhm
scars
lies
fear
frick i cant keep doing ot forever can i.
people
it
rules
me
control
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i miss you...

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'cuz the drugs dont work, they just make you worse, but i, know ill see your face again...'

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  #16  
Old Mar 22, 2008, 01:05 PM
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dot...you can do it... during the past 5 days... how often were the urges there... lots huh? well you got through all of those... you can keep on... just take it one urge at a time...lyn
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  #17  
Old Apr 03, 2008, 09:18 AM
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pink how are you today?...lyn
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lyn
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  #18  
Old Apr 03, 2008, 11:57 AM
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I visualized having a family intervention with all 8 of my nieces & nephews (ages 12 - 20)whom I love as my own, my parents & friends were there asking me heartfelt questions trying to understand. And they told me how bad they hurt or I had hurt them. It hit be so powerful it was as if I committed suicide & came back to answer their questions & feel their pain & anguish. This method really hit my core, my soul.
  #19  
Old Apr 03, 2008, 04:55 PM
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I stopped because of hiding. I can't hide my cuts and scars during prom and I really don't want my senior year full of bad memories. I can't stand for my friends and family to ask my what all of those cuts are from..I'm a miserable liar.
  #20  
Old Apr 08, 2008, 10:33 AM
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One thing that has motivated me to try to stop was that I recognize that I can't ask more of my clients than I am willing to try myself. My T used to cut, and I know that if she were still doing it, or if she started again, that would be an instant excuse for me to go into a total relapse. It would be really bad. She mentioned eating chocolate for breakfast, and I instantly jumped to, well, if it's good enough for you, then I'm glad to know that's an acceptable alternative and I won't feel bad when I do it too. I don't want to be a hypocrit, and I can't responsibly overlook that kind of negative coping in myself or my clients.

But you can't do it for someone else. As long as I use cutting, I won't learn how to cope in positive or helpful ways. Cutting keeps me from getting better. I never have learned how or what it is like to be happy and functional. I keep getting closer. Cutting will keep me from getting there.
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  #21  
Old Apr 08, 2008, 01:19 PM
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"I don't want to be a Hypocrite and I can't responsibly overlook that kind of negative coping in myself or my clients"

For those of you who stopped.... For those of you who stopped.... For those of you who stopped....
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  #22  
Old Apr 08, 2008, 01:22 PM
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(((((((( pink )))))))))

I haven't found "it" yet either For those of you who stopped....
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  #23  
Old Apr 08, 2008, 01:30 PM
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Self inflicted physical pain... better than the mental pain. I totally hear you For those of you who stopped....
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  #24  
Old Apr 10, 2008, 04:27 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Katie_Kaboom said:
I stopped but started again due to overwhelming stress..

The reason I stopped was just that I did not need to do it anymore.. Life was stable.. And I found other ways of channeling stress. I just "dealt" with it. I don't know. I just didn't get the urges to do it. I kinda got over it.

Now, I'm doing it again because I can't seem to unload my burden any other way. It makes the pain physical, not mental, and it's better to have physical pain. Things that can't seem to get resolved get better when there's physical pain.

Don't know if that makes any sense of anyone.. But that's how it is for me.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
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