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  #1  
Old Oct 26, 2008, 08:09 PM
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dance59326 dance59326 is offline
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I've been in a sticky situation, but don't know what or how to manage anything anymore. I'm totally relapsing, but don't know how to fix it. Currently, I'm about to go back to my old school, the one I left after having an extreme crisis. I went to the hospital after a serious phone call to my T then went to a psychiatric center and currently at a day treatment center. I really don't know what to do. I want to hide everything from my therapist so i can just be normal and back at my regular school. There are serious behavioral problems where I'm afraid to go the the day treatment center because I'm afraid of my safety from the other people in my classes. Overall, there are so many things I'm looking forward to if I go back to my old school. I'd regain my old T who I really bonded to (I've been switched to 2 different therapists and 3 different psychologists within 9 months and have an attachment disorder) I can't seem to work with anyone of my T or Psychiatrists. I keep on hiding everything from everyone because everyone says that 100% I'm ready to return back into my old school and just start over. In the meantime, I'm having horrific dreams that are so triggering and am now tending to bite myself for the sake of personal comfort. It's not considered SI because I don't do any damage to myself. I haven't SI in over 8 months and am now worried that it might start again. I need some advice and comforting support badly. I feel like I'm treading water so I don't drown in relapse, but am hiding my internal injuries of mental health for psysical health's sake.
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"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown

"To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"
Thich Nhat Hanh


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  #2  
Old Oct 26, 2008, 08:46 PM
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bipolar_bear bipolar_bear is offline
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(((((((((((((((((((((((dance)))))))))))))))))))))))) can you talk to the t you are going back to and see if they can help? I am sorry you are feeling so badly. Please let someone know if you feel unsafe where you are. know I am here.

BB
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I don't know what to do!!!  I'm stuck:(


  #3  
Old Oct 26, 2008, 08:47 PM
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free2beme free2beme is offline
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(((dance)))

it will be ok. your family, friends, and therapist will be there for you.

do you think you might be getting anxious about your return to your school?
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Life shouldn't be this hard
.I don't know what to do!!!  I'm stuck:(
  #4  
Old Oct 27, 2008, 05:06 AM
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darkrunner darkrunner is offline
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(((((((((((((((((dance))))))))))))))))))))))
I read your post - I am sorry it is so hard for you right now.

I have been having really bad dreams lately too, and I know how badly they can affect you during the day. Makes it so much more difficult to cope.....they really just stay with you.

It sounds like there are really good reasons to return to your old school - are there any reason not to?
If this is a decision that is hard for you, could you write it out and make a list of pros and cons for each option? That is often a good way to make things clearer and help you decide.

Please don't hurt yourself--
feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
I am here for you.....
ktgirl
  #5  
Old Oct 27, 2008, 09:42 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dance59326 View Post
I want to hide everything from my therapist so i can just be normal and back at my regular school.

There are serious behavioral problems where I'm afraid to go the the day treatment center because I'm afraid of my safety from the other people in my classes.

I'd regain my old T who I really bonded to (I've been switched to 2 different therapists and 3 different psychologists within 9 months and have an attachment disorder)

I can't seem to work with anyone of my T or Psychiatrists.

I keep on hiding everything from everyone because everyone says that 100% I'm ready to return back into my old school and just start over.

I'm having horrific dreams that are so triggering.
What is going on at the treatment center that is unsafe?

Why can't you talk to the new T's?

Not talking about your issues is not a good idea....

Talking about these dreams with a T would help?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #6  
Old Oct 27, 2008, 03:39 PM
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dance59326 dance59326 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bipolar_bear View Post
(((((((((((((((((((((((dance)))))))))))))))))))))))) can you talk to the t you are going back to and see if they can help? I am sorry you are feeling so badly. Please let someone know if you feel unsafe where you are. know I am here.

BB
hi bipolar_bear, I can talk to my old therapist, but am not sure if she can help. I'm so nervous to see her again. I can't let anyone know if I'm feeling unsafe. (((((((((((((((bipolar_bear))))))))))))))))
thanks for your support,
~dance59326
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown

"To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"
Thich Nhat Hanh

  #7  
Old Oct 27, 2008, 04:22 PM
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dance59326 dance59326 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
What is going on at the treatment center that is unsafe?

Why can't you talk to the new T's?

Not talking about your issues is not a good idea....

Talking about these dreams with a T would help?
At the treatment center, we have serious agressive issues with very big both in weight and height, but I'm very small, causing me to feel that they want to target me. We've had 1 person go to a long term psychiatric hospital, 1 person who is at the hospital and has been gone for the past week (she was rushed in an ambulance and escorted by 4 police officers), 1 person who has just moved as of today to a more intense psychiatric center that is longterm, along with a very aggresive person in class too.

I cant talk to my new therapists because I cant adjust to them. I don't do well with switching to other people due to an attachment disorder. Once I find a person who I'm very compatible with, I can't work with anyone else.

I'm so worried about my school issues at both schools and my thoughts that I can't think straight enough to get help for my internal thoughts that are slowly and quietly tearing me apart.
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown

"To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"
Thich Nhat Hanh

  #8  
Old Oct 28, 2008, 08:50 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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One solution here seems to be to talk to your old therapist. You are holding back because you are not sure that she can help????? Don't back yourself into a corner. Why are you nervous to talk with her? You can still be nervous and do it anyway. We all have to do stuff like this.....
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #9  
Old Oct 29, 2008, 07:01 AM
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dance59326 dance59326 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
One solution here seems to be to talk to your old therapist. You are holding back because you are not sure that she can help????? Don't back yourself into a corner. Why are you nervous to talk with her? You can still be nervous and do it anyway. We all have to do stuff like this.....
I'm not allowed to communicate with my old therapist until I'm back in my old school. I'm so nervous to talk with her because she is very intense and sometimes scares the living day lights out of me. Our last talk back in Decemver was so scary and after that, I went to the hospital and then a long-term psychiatric hospital. I've just seen her about 2 weeks ago and I'm worried that she will not forget about what happened. She knows that the thoughts are there, but will poke and prod there until I crash and burn. I'm so scared.
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown

"To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"
Thich Nhat Hanh

  #10  
Old Oct 29, 2008, 10:22 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Can you explain this to the therapist? - That she needs to take it easy and not stir up too much because then you can't cope....
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #11  
Old Oct 29, 2008, 05:17 PM
dance59326's Avatar
dance59326 dance59326 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Can you explain this to the therapist? - That she needs to take it easy and not stir up too much because then you can't cope....
No, because I will not be discharged from my Day Treatment program which is supposed to be 2.5 weeks. I don't need my discharge date to get in my way. Thanks for posting.
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown

"To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"
Thich Nhat Hanh

  #12  
Old Oct 30, 2008, 08:27 AM
Sannah's Avatar
Sannah Sannah is offline
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So if you speak out for your needs you will get punished?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #13  
Old Nov 02, 2008, 04:16 PM
dance59326's Avatar
dance59326 dance59326 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Can you explain this to the therapist? - That she needs to take it easy and not stir up too much because then you can't cope....
My one @ the DT center or the oe who I will be going back to??? Which one???
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown

"To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"
Thich Nhat Hanh

  #14  
Old Nov 03, 2008, 10:28 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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You said that the one that you will be going back to goes too fast. You should be able to tell any therapist when there is a problem though....
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
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