SUPER triggery question

has anyone here been SA by more than one person? Like, at totally different times, in unrelated circumstances? As a child?

I need so so so so so badly to know I'm not the only one.

dear, i was. by totally unrelated people and circumstances. dont feel alone. ((treehouse))

~Scri

(((((((((((( treehouse ))))))))))))))

You are so not alone.....

I too have had multiple situations at different times with different people. I'm sorry it's been the same for you or anyone else.


sabby

Yes, Treehouse!! Unfortunately I have experienced multiple SA at different times with totally different people.

You are not alone sweetie!! We are all here with you and for you, whenever you need us.

Safe hug if it's okay....

I am having a hard time understanding how it could happen more than once, with different people, in different states, at different ages. Like.....WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I can't even say anymore right now.

i ask myself that very question everyday...((((((treehouse))))))

still here with you..~scri

There is NOTHING wrong with you....

It is the abuser's who are sick and disgusting. They prey on innocence, trust, and vulnerability. They are COWARDS. They attempt to destroy all that is precious. And every time we think to ourselves...."what is wrong with us", we are giving in to their hate.

You did nothing wrong. You didn't deserve any of it!!!

The thing is...I know exactly what you mean...because as I write this to you, I hear the same questions in my head. I tell myself...maybe if I had just worn a different pair of pajamas that night...maybe if I had just quit my job a few days earlier and not shared my dreams with a sick pervert.

It doesn't make sense to me either!!!

I am here with you!!

Be good to yourself!!

No, o' course you're not the only one, hun. Perps themselves often have multiple victims. For instance I know of at least 5 other children that my main perp abused, and I know for sure that he abused more. Another one of my perps also abused my mother and aunt when they were children, as well as many of my cousins. Another perp abused my siblings and me together.

The thing is... abusing children isn't about the child. It's about the perp. THEY have a desire to have sexual contact with children. They know it's wrong. They know it's against the law. And they do it anyway, to any child they can manipulate into a) a situation with them alone b) not telling.

Another question to ask instead of "what is wrong with me" might be "What the h*** is wrong with THEM?"
What is it in their minds that makes them think it's okay to be sexual with a child? Can YOU imagine doing that? Could your husband?? If you knew a child now who had recently been sa'ed, would you ever think to ask them "What is wrong with you?" Why not?

All I can tell you with absolute certainty is: It ain't ever about the kid. It's about perps wanting to satisfy their own needs, and not giving a damn about anyone else in the process.

You are not alone and it was never about you, it was always about the perps. Yes, they have a sick gift for picking and choosing children least likely to tell and very often these are children who have been abused by others and are fearful, have been forced into a fearful place and vulnerable. But it is still always about the choices the perpeTRAITORS make.
My list: grandfather, father, mother, brothers, brother's friend, cousin, janitor in school, suspect others.
IT WAS NOT MY FAULT AND NOR WAS IT YOURS! I hope you can believe that even if just a little bit. It takes time and hearing it over and over again - it wasn't your fault and it was nothing you did. if safe

I was raised in a physically/emotionally abusive alcoholic household and there was NO WAY I could have/would have told.

The first time, I was 3 and 4 (same person, ongoing)and I didn't even know it was wrong. He said he was my friend and it was our secret. Like a fun game.

Later, with others, I KNEW it was wrong, but couldn't tell.

I want to believe it wasn't ME. Not there yet. Someday, I hope, I hope, I hope.

Thanks for the support. It breaks my heart that others went through it, but it also feels like *I* might not be this uniquely horrible person that I suspect I am.

Yeah, this is happened to us many times. From the age of 4 to 8 we were in a ring of abusers. Some abusers where regular abusers for us. Some we only saw once. Bad situation and long story. Then when we were able to get away from that situation where we thought we were safe we were again abused. That went on until we were 13 when that abuser died. Always felt like there was a target on our forehead. There was something that happened to us again when we were 17. That target seems to shine sometimes.

I know what you mean… my mother physically abused me before I was even two years old. Because of what she did I had to go and live with my godparents. They were both perverts, they had friends who were also perverts. I stayed in their home until I was nearly 5. When I was 12, a complete stranger managed to corner and grope me and then when I was 15 my step father molested me.
I asked my therapist about it once, is there a target on me? Do I just look easy? She said it was mostly that I was in the wrong place with the wrong people… but having been abused made me more vulnerable to abuse. She says that was not my fault and that I am learning to be strong. I don’t believe I would be as easily coerced now but it has been a lot of hard work to get here and I am not done yet.
I know it is hard when there are so many people in your life who had taken advantage of you but you have to learn to know that you were innocent. The abusers are guilty and perverts. You have already come so far. I am sure you will make it all the way to health.

As you can see, you are not alone....and I am adding to the list.

When I was a very young girl, I "believe" I "may" have been SA...I remember bits and pieces, but I can't tell if it's real or not. I haven't been able to delve into that in T yet.

Then, when I was 14, I was SA by my boss, at knifepoint, in a locked warehouse.

Then, when I was a little older than that, I was pulled into a school bathroom and SA in the stall.

Then, a few months ago, my husband and neighbor....well, let's not go there.

Anyway, you are not alone...and I too struggle with the "how could that have happened to me so many times in so many different ways with so many different people!"......Part of me knows that it's not ME....but then there's another part of me that feels like I could've done something to prevent it. I know I could have prevented the last two situations, had I had the courage to fight back.

You are not alone.

nope, not alone...happened with brothers, sisters and their friends and my peers that did not care what the words no and stop meant. i am still dealing with this.

No, you aren't the only one. I had two childhood sexual abusers, at separate times and places. Actually I find that many of us, especially those of us who were sexually abused starting a very young age, ended up with more abusers. Pedophiles are master manipulators and predators - very sharp at spotting the "vulnerable" child. So it's no surprise really, that it can happen by more than one pedophile and at different ages, to a child.

No, you are not alone. I had three abusers at three different ages, places, times, starting at 5 and ending at 18. I totally understand how it feels that something must be wrong with me, but I'm learning that the problem was with them. The early abuse set me up for the later abuse.

Hi there Treehouse,

I am here to say the answer. Yes, I had more than one abuser and many in different times and places. My grandfather was into satanism and there was freakin creepy stuff that happened.

My grandfather, uncle, brothers, mother, first pastor, dentist, teen age boy when i was 9, 4th grade teacher the same year. other members of the coven, a satanist raped me when I was 19 and I will quit there.

Those who abused me are inexcusable and not one was held responsible in this life for hurting me. All the shame and All the blame go on them. Abuse began for me in my crib as an infant. I too felt like I had a target painted on my back that only abusers could see. I felt like a "member of the club NO ONE wanted to join." In all they forced me to do I was innocent and coerced and performed to survive. Shame on them!

It has taken me a long time to get to where I am today and I still have a long way to go. I deserve the help I am getting and I am worth all their efforts to help me help myself. I was victimized BUT, I am NOT a victim. I survived and I am a valuable person