[Ardmore]

But I can't, it seems everytime I turn around I'm being yelled at, judged, or being beaten.

I was emotional abused by my mom, and physical and emotional abused by my so-called-brother.

But I think my brother was the worst, he would choke me till I almost passed out, beat me till I could hardly walk and he would just laugh about it and say "Its what brothers do".

Yea ****ing right, my friends brother wasn't abusive to him at all and many others I see with brother who don't beraided them.

And when ever I fought back he would "punish" me for talking back, he would threaten to beat the **** out of me if I didn't do something right.

He judges me on what I wear, what I do, and what I say.

If I swear, he'll beat me up
If I talk to someone, he'll shut me up
If I try to be myself, he'll critisizes(sp) me

Just yesterday, he got pissed over something unimportant, so he choked me till I almost passed out, I screamed stop so many times but he just ****ed laugh then he let go and he yelled because I sat on his cigarette.

He then called me a ****in idiot for wearing two sweaters, he then said "all the chicks you hang out with are fat and gross"

Then as I was leaving, he yelled, "you got 5 sec to get back here or I'll beat the **** out of you"

I CAN'T ****IN TAKE IT ANYMORE, HE ACTS LIKE HE CAN CONTORL MY ****IN LIFE AND I TAKE LIVE THIS WAY ANY ****ING MORE!!!

[lynn P.]

((Ardmore)) - I'm very sorry this is going on and I'm worried about you. Does your mother know your brother does this?? Is there anyone else in your family like an aunt or uncle who would sympathize with you? If not, you need to tell a counselor or teacher or principal at school.

It's not normal for siblings to be violent with each other at all. I would even say, you should call the police on him. This is a serious situation, that needs to be stopped. Please tell a trusted adult who can help you and I pray it get better for you.

[Ardmore]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

((Ardmore)) - I'm very sorry this is going on and I'm worried about you. Does your mother know your brother does this?? Is there anyone else in your family like an aunt or uncle who would sympathize with you? If not, you need to tell a counselor or teacher or principal at school.

It's not normal for siblings to be violent with each other at all. I would even say, you should call the police on him. This is a serious situation, that needs to be stopped. Please tell a trusted adult who can help you and I pray it get better for you.

Both of my parents know about this but nothing has been done, I can't tell anyone because last time I did, the beatings got worst so I can't as much as I want to

[Sannah]

Your brother is sick. (and I don't mean he is sick and we need to feel sorry for him). Is he an adult? You live with him?

[SoupDragon]

Not only does this sound abusive, but very dangerous - I am from the UK we have helplines that can be used to report this kind of thing, wonder if you have any where you live? I really hope you can tell someone, teacher, counsellor, police, friend's parent - this is not what brothers do (I have one) - you don't need or deserve to put up with this. How old is he?

[Ardmore]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Your brother is sick. (and I don't mean he is sick and we need to feel sorry for him). Is he an adult? You live with him?

He is 18, he does from time to time and the times he is around, its just all abuse

[lynn P.]

I think you would be better in a foster family if your parents won't protect you. Here's a number you can call 1-800-4 A CHILD

[Ardmore]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I think you would be better in a foster family if your parents won't protect you. Here's a number you can call 1-800-4 A CHILD

I understand that you're concern but I can't, I really can't

[SoupDragon]

I understand that it can feel scarey to talk to people outside the family about this kind of thing - although I never suffered physical abuse, I did suffer other types, even now it is hard to accept that my family could ever have been anything but nice to me. It just sounds really worrying and dangerous that your brother can put his hands round your neck to the point of unconsciousness. This is a site that cares about each other and I care about what happens to you - I wonder what options you can think of that may help to keep you safe?

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by Ardmore

I understand that you're concern but I can't, I really can't

Don't worry Ardmore...I understand if you can't and I know it's all so scarey when you're young. I hope in a few yrs you'll be able to move on your own. As a mother, I just worry when I see a young person hurt like you're experiencing. We're here to listen.

[Sannah]

Can you go talk to the police about this? Maybe you can get some type of restraining order?

[*doodles*]

I'm so sorry this is happening. It is definitely not right. Your brother has some serious issues. I wish there was something you could do.
What happened last time you told someone??? There has got to be away to keep him away from you!
How old are you?? Is there anyone else in your family you can go live with?? Or even just spend some time there when your brother is around?
I'm thinking of you, and I hope you can find away to escape all this pain. Big hugs sent your way.

[Can't Stop Crying]

You don't deserve any of this! I wish you could come and live with me - I would take you in a heartbeat! Don't let him destroy your golden heart and thoughtful spirit. You are amazing with all the things that life has thrown at you and you keep on fighting through. I am so sorry this is happening! I wish I had better words - remind yourself that he is the problem - not you! Can you try to avoid him as much as possible when he is there? I want you to feel safe. It is not fair that this is happening! Sending all the safe vibes I can your way!

[Halen]

wow..i'm sorry for what you're going through man.... i understand the feeling of wanting to tell yet being scared of the outcome for doing so... look im 21 and my dad still beats the crap out of me... it's not going to change unless you tell someone that you need help....getting older and stronger doesn't mean that the abuse stops, it just means that it gets humiliating to actually admit to yourself that you're actually let it go on and accept it.... you're young ardmore, you need to try and find help...you're brother is in the wrong for doing what he is doing to you man...i mean he could actually kill you if he leaves his hands on your neck for too long... look i know it's scary and well emberrasing but you really need to find help ardmore... the abuse is not going to go away..no matter how old you get..you guys are close in age so that's why i say that... go to someone you trust ... please ardmore... you don't deserve to be going through that type of abuse...tell someone...

[Can't Stop Crying]

Are you doing any better today Ardmore?

[Ardmore]

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

Are you doing any better today Ardmore?

I'am, thank you for asking

Originally Posted by doodle3609

I'm so sorry this is happening. It is definitely not right. Your brother has some serious issues. I wish there was something you could do.
What happened last time you told someone??? There has got to be away to keep him away from you!
How old are you?? Is there anyone else in your family you can go live with?? Or even just spend some time there when your brother is around?
I'm thinking of you, and I hope you can find away to escape all this pain. Big hugs sent your way.

The last time it happed, he called me a ****ing snitch and he would beat the **** out of me even worst.(I'm 16)

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Don't worry Ardmore...I understand if you can't and I know it's all so scarey when you're young. I hope in a few yrs you'll be able to move on your own. As a mother, I just worry when I see a young person hurt like you're experiencing. We're here to listen.

Thank you

Originally Posted by Halen

wow..i'm sorry for what you're going through man.... i understand the feeling of wanting to tell yet being scared of the outcome for doing so... look im 21 and my dad still beats the crap out of me... it's not going to change unless you tell someone that you need help....getting older and stronger doesn't mean that the abuse stops, it just means that it gets humiliating to actually admit to yourself that you're actually let it go on and accept it.... you're young ardmore, you need to try and find help...you're brother is in the wrong for doing what he is doing to you man...i mean he could actually kill you if he leaves his hands on your neck for too long... look i know it's scary and well emberrasing but you really need to find help ardmore... the abuse is not going to go away..no matter how old you get..you guys are close in age so that's why i say that... go to someone you trust ... please ardmore... you don't deserve to be going through that type of abuse...tell someone...

I'll think about, but thank you all the same

[Open Eyes]

Are you in School? Can you go talk to a guidance coucelor and convey your concerns about your safety? You have to tell someone, your in a very unhealthy situation here. You cant not tell from fear, you have to find someone who can really help you where you wont be threatened. It can feel like your taking a chance here, but you are probably taking a bigger chance by allowing this treatment to continue.

Try to at least find ways to be other places where your not around him. Stay with friends more, find activities after school. Find a local horse farm, offer to help, that way you can be around kind animals and good people and away from him. That is what saved my life.
You have to be resouseful, thats what I did. I really planned ways for me to not be alone with the person as much as possible, the less access they have to you and the more people are around to witness, like being sure your parents are there when you are home. It will be better for you.

Open Eyes

[Ardmore]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Are you in School? Can you go talk to a guidance coucelor and convey your concerns about your safety? You have to tell someone, your in a very unhealthy situation here. You cant not tell from fear, you have to find someone who can really help you where you wont be threatened. It can feel like your taking a chance here, but you are probably taking a bigger chance by allowing this treatment to continue.

Try to at least find ways to be other places where your not around him. Stay with friends more, find activities after school. Find a local horse farm, offer to help, that way you can be around kind animals and good people and away from him. That is what saved my life.
You have to be resouseful, thats what I did. I really planned ways for me to not be alone with the person as much as possible, the less access they have to you and the more people are around to witness, like being sure your parents are there when you are home. It will be better for you.

Open Eyes

I'm still in high school but I won't talk to anyone about because what I'm afraid of is that if I do, he'll be sent to jail, everyone will hate me because I did that to him, and that once he gets out he'll try to kill me.

Just thinking about it makes me feel so helpless and scared, I feel like a worthless child

[geez]

Originally Posted by Ardmore

I'm still in high school but I won't talk to anyone about because what I'm afraid of is that if I do, he'll be sent to jail, everyone will hate me because I did that to him, and that once he gets out he'll try to kill me.

Just thinking about it makes me feel so helpless and scared, I feel like a worthless child

(((Ardmore))) I am crying as I type this and if my words come across as being strong please know that I only wish you to be better.
The fact that he is choking you is crazy and I'm afraid for YOUR LIFE. If you say something to authorities he could try to go after you but if he's in jail he can't touch you. I would think you would be better off than where you are now? Now he has physical contact with you anytime he feels like it and one of these times I'm afraid he will choke you and you won't wake up.

Right now you aren't living you are surviving and I want you to live. Please seek help from a shelter or the police. I would think that if you told them that he beat you worse the last time you spoke to someone that would make even more of a difference as to what he is capable of doing.

I'm very scared for you. Please keep posting. I'm sending you many hugs and comfort.

[Open Eyes]

Ok, Ardmore,

I lived through something so very similar, older brother too and I was afraid too and I understand how you feel.

You have to outsource in a way that takes you away from him. I did it with a pony, saved my life. I got home from school, quickly changed my clothes and hopped on my pony and took off.

So, my other suggestions were to make every possible effort to not be around him. Find a barn who needs help, someplace you can go to be away. I am not saying to be a great horse rider etc. But to find ways to not let yourself be around him. Oh, I hate to think of it but that is what I did.

Try to find friends where you can go hang out after school with, join stuff, anything to stay away from him. Try to scour the net and find some kind of summer overnight camp. Do it, someplace where you can find a haven away from him.

I only mentioned a barn as they ususally need help, especially after school. Often if you are good enough a trainer may find a way for you to get a ride. Some trainers can be a haven for young girls, they all talk about it, they know. And these places always need help. Wish you lived near me, I could use a hand on my farm.

Just try to make sure you pick safe and healthy places to be around other people who are normal and are enjoying life, that is a good way to become more normal.

You have to find ways to not be in a place where you can become a victim.

Open Eyes

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Ardmore

I won't talk to anyone about because what I'm afraid of is that if I do, he'll be sent to jail, everyone will hate me because I did that to him, and that once he gets out he'll try to kill me.

Just thinking about it makes me feel so helpless and scared, I feel like a worthless child

Everyone will hate you because he goes to jail? No one hates him for what he does to you?

If you tell the police and then tell them, like Geez said, that he has a history of beating you after telling, there will be incredible evidence. It would be worth talking to the police IMO.

Stand up and fight this terrible person. You can win with the authorities on your side.

Maybe even talk to child protection. Your parents have to protect you from harm and they obviously are not doing that.

[Ardmore]

Thank you all for the replies but maybe you're all right but I can't, and even if I wanted to it would go badly for me.

I can't, no maybe can't isn't the word for it.

I'm more afraid then I can't but it won't change anything


**** my life

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by Ardmore

Thank you all for the replies but maybe you're all right but I can't, and even if I wanted to it would go badly for me.

I can't, no maybe can't isn't the word for it.

I'm more afraid then I can't but it won't change anything


**** my life

Ardmore,

You have to understand that your brother is ill. What he is doing to you is only an example of what he will do to a wife or someone else.

You have to protect yourself. I know that you feel that he will hurt you even more if you do act. But, he will get worse he is in training for some kind disease and these people get worse.

Look I know that your afraid but you have to protect yourself. Are you old enough to drive? Maybe call a hot line and get advice and see what can be done. Not only for you but everyone that gets in his path. Everything he is doing with you, he is learning how to control a victim.
Often this happens and people don't talk, they are afraid just like you.
But then someone really gets hurt and its not fair to you or anyone in the future. His actions are not healthy.

You have to stand up for yourself and find resources that will help you.
Yes, your afraid and thats what he wants. But you have to learn to stand up for yourself, otherwise you will allow yourself to become a victim again.

I had given you suggestion on how to keep yourself away from him. But you do need help, he also needs help. It doesn't always end up with a prison sentence, but it will someday for him. He wont know how to stop and he will hurt someone. He will be tested and examined by professionals. A person who is violent like this has psychological issues and they have to be stopped.

Open Eyes

[Ardmore]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Ardmore,

You have to understand that your brother is ill. What he is doing to you is only an example of what he will do to a wife or someone else.

You have to protect yourself. I know that you feel that he will hurt you even more if you do act. But, he will get worse he is in training for some kind disease and these people get worse.

Look I know that your afraid but you have to protect yourself. Are you old enough to drive? Maybe call a hot line and get advice and see what can be done. Not only for you but everyone that gets in his path. Everything he is doing with you, he is learning how to control a victim.
Often this happens and people don't talk, they are afraid just like you.
But then someone really gets hurt and its not fair to you or anyone in the future. His actions are not healthy.

You have to stand up for yourself and find resources that will help you.
Yes, your afraid and thats what he wants. But you have to learn to stand up for yourself, otherwise you will allow yourself to become a victim again.

I had given you suggestion on how to keep yourself away from him. But you do need help, he also needs help. It doesn't always end up with a prison sentence, but it will someday for him. He wont know how to stop and he will hurt someone. He will be tested and examined by professionals. A person who is violent like this has psychological issues and they have to be stopped.

Open Eyes

I agree with you.
But I don't have any desire to learn to fight, I hate fighting so much but I'm at the point that I just want to end it
I can't trust anyone anymore because it always backfires in my face, it always has.....

[lynn P.]

I still think the best solution is to tell a responsible adult. I feel disappointed your parents are tolerating this. I understand for now you can't do what's been advised. This may sound silly but I know you're a young man - start making your body and self confidence strong. Start weight lifting and learn basic self defense. The YMCA teaches basic karate and self defense. I hesitate to say this, but I'm thinking you need to defend yourself - but do take this lightly as I don't want you to get more hurt. What a bully he is .......grrrrr.