So uhm... I'm a little confused about when things would be called abuse or simply a parent correcting their kid. Or when you would call something s.xual abuse or not. It's not always that crystal clear, atleast not to me.
It bothers me though so here I am. I kinda feel bad about it though.

Like when I was younger my parents would put me over their knee for things like not listening or dropping a full glass or a bad grade at school. Except I thought it was normal but maybe it isn't, or atleast not as many parents spank their kids as I thought. But I guess I deserved that though. It would just make it hard to sit still for the next few days.
Sometimes when I really make him mad he will take out his belt though and then he makes me take of my shirt and hold on to something and I have to try and not make any sound or he will just get madder. But I guess I just shouldnt have made him mad in the first place.

He's pretty strict but only because i keep dissapointing him.
At the end of the day on saturday or sunday he makes up the balance, that's what he calls it, and depending on the outcome he will punish me again.
It's pretty embarassing but he still spanks me sometimes. Usually he will just use the belt or something though but he always makes me do some other stuff too like s.xual stuff. I feel very embarassed about that

[blueredgrey]

Dear CasColours, how old are you?? Are you an adult or a still a child.

Please have NO doubt....you are being abused. You are being forced to do sexual stuff by someone who holds the power position (anyone older than you - in this case, your caretakers). You are being beaten with a belt. EVERYONE needs unconditional love and acceptance.

Your caretakers are abusing you and giving a pathetic excuse that "you are provoking them to do this.".......a classic line ALL abusers use to live in the delusion that they are not at fault, they are being MADE to do all this, because the victim is behaving "poorly".

If you are a child, please call the abuse helpline in your country. A quick search revealed - Advies- en Meldpunten Kindermishandeling, AMK.....or maybe COPS?

If you are unable to call anyone, please tell your school - a teacher you trust, your principal, school counselor?? If not, tell your neighbor. If not, tell your uncle or aunt you trust.

Tell anyone you can....but DON'T suffer in silence. I never told anyone and it has left some terrible mental pains. Stop it when you can and TALK. Your abuser may also need help and by telling and getting help (from authorities), you will not only help yourself, you will also help the abuser.

TALK NOW. Earlier, the better.

If you are an adult....run away from where you are and call the COPS. Get help with a therapist. Stuff like these leave trauma for a lifetime. Work with a therapist to heal the wounds and gain control of your life.

Good luck! We are here to help!

Thanks for the reply. I'm 13.
If your parents hit you for something you done wrong, it don't mean they don't love you, right.
I mean all parents have to discipline their
kids sometimes. I guess not everyone choses physical discipline I guess, but still.
I don't want to go live with strangers or something, so I don't really want to tell anyone. And if dad fonds out id be in so much trouble.
Its just... Idk... Its hard to live up to his expectations.
Makes me nervous all the time.
And i feel sick to my stomach when I have to do the other stuff. But i dont want to dissapoint him so i just do what he says anyways. It's my fault mom's sick a lot so then i have to do stuff for him.

[nicoleflynn]

You should talk to a school counselor. NO ONE should ever be hit for ANY reason. That is abuse. Read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. It is NOT your fault your mom is sick....you can't cause anyone to be ill. What is he making you do? Is he molesting you? Forcing you to do sexual things? I hope you will speak to someone in school; they are trained to help kids who are being abused. It won't stop, unless you get help. let us know.

All hitting isnt immedeatly abuse i think ..
My mom almost died when she tried to save me from a car that was speeding, I wasnt supposed to run ahead but I did anyways and then she got me out of the way of the car but got hit too and well I had some minor stuff like broken leg, but she had to be helicoptered to the hospital. She's never been the same since. I was 7 then.
I still get nightmares of it sometimes.
My father taught me how to give him a hj first he put my hands on his pn.s and then later I had to take it in my mouth and then one time when he was really mad he told me to lay down on my stomach and i thought he was going to hit me but he went inside me instead it hurted a lot but he told me to stop crying, if I hadn't run infront the car it wouldnt have been necesarry.
I had to show 2 bad test results to him today so he hit me with the belt again.
And i had to give him a bj since mom's in bed with migraine again. :/
So it's my own fault

[blueredgrey]

Dear,

I am so sorry for all that you are going thru.

First of all, you are in NO WAY responsible for what happened to your mother. You were 7!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was just an accident. Don't be hard on yourself. Please tell me....is your mother disabled? Is she aware of what your father is doing to you?

Now, I don't agree with your thoughts on discipline. Hitting a child, for whatever reason, NEVER works. It scares child to death and instead of being open with parent, child learns to hide things and show their "best face" to parents. It robs open communication between parents. Life becomes a list of "dos and donts" for the child, instead of exploring who they really are.

Children deserve a secure home where they will not face any threat of any kind, where they can be open about what they feel. A child deserves unconditional love, no matter what.

There's NO justifying physical abuse.

In your case, your father should have, every single day, told you that you are NOT RESPONSIBLE for your mother's accident. A good father, when mother is ill, should play the role of a mother as well. You are just a child and should only play the role of a child.

Your father is violating you by involving you sexually. You are in no way responsible and you don't have to do ANYTHING......it's NOT your fault.

If there is ANYONE at fault here - it's your father. Your father is physically and sexually abusing you. There is NO EXCUSE for what he's doing.

---------------------------------------

Before I advice you anything, I want to tell you my story.

When I was 13, my father started molesting me. I didn't tell anyone, thinking it would break apart my family. I remained silent. Slowly, my grades dropped. I got into the habit of maladaptive daydreaming, and I have still been unable to get rid of it.
I got into a bad college. Then my father suffered stroke. He survived, but was bed ridden. I got into a job, but it didn't last long - main reason being, I couldn't gel with anyone. My father died some time later. I fell into deep depression.....and have been unemployed for the last 5 yrs. I have no job, no friends, no relationships. My relationship with my family was ruined...I daydreamed most of my life away. I have no social skills. It didn't end there - I am obese, I have hypertension and host of hormonal problems.

It was very tough to come out of this situation and everyday, I had to struggle a lot....but I am recovering.

Point being - my life, for a large part sucked and it all stemmed from the fact that I was molested. I lost my childhood.

I am 29 yrs old now. EVERY SINGLE DAY, I regretted not telling anyone.
If I had told someone - I could have received therapy at the right time and recovered. My father could have received therapy and maybe recovered. My mom's marriage may not have been a lie. My brother may not have faced abuse of his own.

I love my father very much and yet, if I could go back in time, I would have definitely reported him to authorities and got him arrested for all the wrongs he did.
----------------------------

You may think all this won't effect you, but it does. Please read the wikipedia page for "child sex abuse" and "incest". I am copy pasting - A study of victims of father–daughter incest in the 1970s showed that there were "common features" within families before the occurrence of incest: estrangement between the mother and the daughter, extreme paternal dominance, and reassignment of some of the mother's traditional major family responsibility to the daughter. Oldest and only daughters were more likely to be the victims of incest. It was also stated that the incest experience was psychologically harmful to the woman in later life, frequently leading to feelings of low self-esteem, unhealthy sexual activity, contempt for other women, and other emotional problems. Adults who as children were incestuously victimized by adults often suffer from low self-esteem, difficulties in interpersonal relationships, and sexual dysfunction, and are at an extremely high risk of many mental disorders, including depression, anxiety, phobic avoidance reactions, somatoform disorder, substance abuse, borderline personality disorder, and complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

As a child you may only think of not wanting to live with strangers or not wanting to report your father and protecting your mother.....but there's a reason adults are incharge of the world. Please take it from many adults who have been in similar situations, if not the same. You NEED to tell someone about it - either child protection service or your school counselor, or teacher you trust. DON'T suffer abuse in silence. You may think you can survive it, but it will leave scars for a lifetime, affecting EVERY aspect of your life if you don't tell now.

Even if you are put in with strangers, believe me, it's for your own good.

Pls talk and talk now. Someday you'd thank yourself for telling. If you have difficulty talking about it, please write all that you've written above on a paper and give it to school counselor.

But pls TELL someone. Talk to someone for you, for your mother, for your father's past victims, to protect future victims and also for your father (sometimes abusers want to stop abusing themselves, but are unable to do so. Oprah Winfrey, interviewed some arrested child abusers - in one case, a father who abused his daughter, the father said that he was proud of his daughter for reporting).

Your father maybe mad at you for a while (even if he has NO RIGHT to get mad, since he's the one at FAULT here - you have every RIGHT and REASON to be mad at your father...you are the one being abused and violated by your father). What he's doing is grossly wrong.

Pls DO talk to your school counselor, or child support in your country. Pls DON'T suffer physical and sexual abuse in silence.

My mom is in wheelchair, though she can stand and walk two steps to the bathroom or something as long as she can hold info something. It took over a year before she got that far though.
I forgot to mention I have 3 older brothers, the,
y are a triplet, but they don't know about the sexual stuff. They get hit with belt too sometimes but not as much. Mom don't know about the sexual stuff either.
Dad says its my fault what happened to her and when mom is sick she blames me too sometimes. Dad said he wished she wouldnt have saved me that day sometimes. I knew i shoulnt have run ahead and cross the street, i was 7 not a baby.

[blueredgrey]

Dear CasColours,

I pretty much guessed that your mother might not be aware of how your father is abusing you.

I can't reiterate this enough - you are NOT responsible for your mother's accident because you did not cause it and you didn't know such a thing would happen!!!!! Doesn't matter if you were 7 months old or 7 yrs old or 17 yrs old or 27 yrs old 37 yrs old or 47 yrs old.
Whatever happened was an accident......irrespective of what your family says! It's very cruel of your father to not only blame a 7 yr old baby for it......but actually say he wished your mother hadn't saved you.

What your father has done is make you feel guilty for it and extract something he wants by exploiting you. Your father needs immediate help with mental health professional.

Even for a minute if a accept (just for argument sake), that your mother's accident was your fault - does it justify your father to sexually abuse you for it?? And if you were really responsible for your mother's accident - why are your brother's being physically abused as well?? And if he felt so "justified" in punishing you se.ually for it.....why would he keep it a secret from the entire family and put the big burden of secrecy on you as well.

None of what you believe and have been told by him is true. You are NOT responsible for your mother's condition.....it was an accident. Your father is making you feel guilty for it.....so that he can abuse you. He takes out his anger on all of you and that is just UNACCEPTABLE.

Please tell your mother and brothers about what your father is doing to you, in his absence. If you are not comfortable on how to tell to your family - pls meet a counselor and they'd guide you.

But please do tell someone - not only for you, but now, for your brothers as well - they are being physically abused too and it's not a safe place to grow for you or your brothers.

Pls meet counsellor or call child support.

We are here to help you!!!

I dont want to be the one to rip the family apart again.
He says i shouldnt tell mom because she would just be sad aNd upset he needs me for that now.
I dont want that. And idk why anyone would believe me anyways.
He always used to drink and get mad because of it but it got much worse after the accident. He lost his job because of it and later got a new one but it dont nearly pay as much. So no food sometimes. He just drinks and make me do disgusting stuff. Sorry

[blueredgrey]

Dear CasColours,

I understand your feeling that you don't want to be the one to rip your family apart. But you are not the one ripping your family apart.

If there is anyone is ripping apart your family, it is your father. He is physically abusing you and your brothers, which can leave a harm for a lifetime. He is sexually abusing you, which can leave a harm for a lifetime. He is cheating his wife, which is sure to leave her doubly shattered - not only because he backstabbed her, but he hurt her daughter in this process.

Your father is an alcoholic abuser and he is not going to mend his ways, unless something drastic happens.

All talks about salary, work, pay, your mother's condition, "needs" is pure BS. He had a temper before your mother's accident....which indicates that he would have abused you no matter what.....he just wanted an excuse. Everything your father says to continue the abuse is null and void and this "logic" of "needs" is best flushed inside the toilet.

There are fathers who are put in much tougher conditions, they don't go on to abuse. Instead, they protect their children so that they are not affected by the tough conditions.

I read a news in my country where a Vice President of BIIIIIG bank made his daughter sleep with his boss for promotion. And at the other end of it - I read a news where a father sold his kidney in black market so that his kids can have something to eat.

So all tough situation, no money is just a pathetic excuse to carry out abuse. Narcissistic men who see their needs (no matter how trivial) more important than the needs (no matter how vital of others), will find any excuse to do what they want to do.

Not only is your father using this excuse to sexually abuse you and physically abuse you and your brothers - he is blaming you as the root cause of it
Does he even realise how much he is harming you? Does he realise how much he is harming his sons?
There's not enough money for food....but there's always enough for his alcohol right??

(will continue)

Thanks for the reply. I don't know what to say right now except maybe point out I'm not a girl
Sorry didnt realise my username might confuse. Its short for Casper.

[blueredgrey]

Dear CasColours,

I am really sorry for misunderstanding . I guess I thought so because generally when you hear of a father sexually abusing their child, generally the picture that comes to mind is of a father exploiting his daughter.

Not to say that father sexually abusing son does not happen.....it does happen, unfortunately, in millions of homes across the world and it is heavily under-reported.

I'm genuinely sorry if you were hurt by any of such silly assumption and jumping to conclusion...I shdn't have done that!

But to continue from where I left....you earlier talked about parent disciplining their child. While I am completely against physically hitting child, I agree that anyone who does anything wrong should be disciplined. Your father is doing something grossly wrong. Who will discipline him??

Your father blames you for your mother's condition, which was unintentionally caused by someone else.....when you were a 7yr child! What about your father? He is intentionally hurting you and your brothers and he's an adult!

Please stop listening to all BS your father says to carry on with the abuse.

You need an adult with knowledge of the situation to intervene. That's why, please talk to your school counselor. If your school does not have a school counselor, please call or email child support in your country. These people are trained to handle the situation....since they may be dealing with 100s of such cases in a month. They'd even help you on how to tell your family. Sometimes family is supportive, sometimes, they are initially not supportive....but that doesn't mean victims should hide the truth to protect the abuser. I'd again reiterate - you will not be hurting the family by telling the truth about abuse. But your father is hurting the family by abusing you and your brothers.

Please don't contemplate on whether you should or shouldn't talk....you need to talk to someone who can help. Nothing good will come out by tolerating the abuse silently....but something good will definitely come by talking to either your counselor or people from child support.

I know it sounds very tough to do......but the first step will be the toughest. Pls take that first step.

Please do share any fears or thoughts you have. We are here to help you.

Thx again. I'm not hurt by your assumption, no worries. I asked a moderater a while ago if i could change my name, but no reply yet.
Anyways.... Idk. I mean it doet of Makes sense what you say, but it doesn't... If that makes sense, hah.
I'm just... Scared i guess and not sure what i think of all this. And i dont want to hurt mom.
And idk if anyone would believe me aNyways... And just the idea if talking scares the hell out of me.. im almost 14. I can move out in 3,5 years when Ill be finished with highschool... A few more years wont hurt not after all this time..

[rothfan6]

Originally Posted by CasColours

A few more years wont hurt not after all this time..

I've been where your at now. A few more years will hurt. My dad starting abusing me around 10 or 11 and i'm 25 now. Like you I didnt say anything and my mom didnt know what was going on either. Keeping a secret like this is a very heavy burden to carry on your own. Talking about it will help. You wont have to spend the next few years wondering and waiting for the next time he abuses you. I know its scary. And it feels like speaking up would make you responsible for getting him in trouble but thats not true. Your father is the one hurting you and your family not you. By talking about it and getting help you are protecting yourself and your brothers and there is absolutely nothing wrong about that. I hope you get help. Dont spend the next few years silently trying to survive his abuse. Your worth more and deserve better than that.

[Switch]

Cas,
I'm going to be really strait up with you. If you tell someone you will not just be saving you but your brothers as well. They don't know about the sexual stuff with you, so it stands to reason that you might not know if there is any sexual stuff happening to them. Your father sounds like a terrible person and I wouldn't put it past him to scare them into silence too.

It takes a lot of courage to say something, but the louder you are about it, and the sooner you do it, the less people will be mad at you. Because this will come out one day, it always does.

But essentially, if it's happening to you it, or something similar, could be happening your brothers too. Or maybe your mom.

[blueredgrey]

Dear CasColours,

I completely understand when you say that "it makes sense, yet it doesn't". All Survivors of Abuse have been in that boat.

But I would again say - you will not hurt your mother with the truth, but your father is hurting everyone in your family with abuse and his alcohol addiction. Nothing good will come out by keeping his disgusting activities as a secret....hear it from ALL people who kept it a secret and heavily regretted it as adults.

I bet if someone described a similar problem - of physical and sexual abuse to you - you'd advise them to call child support. Yet, that's not something you want to do for yourself. Why?? I have a simple rule in life. Don't treat others the way you don't want to be treated AND Don't treat yourself the way you wouldn't treat others. Would you advice anyone else in a similar situation to stick it out and tolerate the abuse for a few more years, till you get out of the house???

Can I ask you....what do you plan to do once you get out of the house??? How will that help you???

I agree with Switch here - your father may be hurting your brothers sexually as well....but you may not be aware of it.

Your mother may be hurt for a little while with how her husband could do such a thing - but eventually, time will heal that feeling and she'd accept it. She may already be in deep pain that your father is physically hurting you all. NO GOOD MOTHER can really feel at peace when her kids are being hit.

She did not risk her life to save you - only to be destroyed by your father.

You may think a few more years of abuse will not hurt. THAT'S NOT AT ALL TRUE. 5 years is a very long and crucial time in the life of a teenager - which would pave way for a healthy adulthood. The longer you face abuse, more are the repercussions. You will not realise it now, but abuse leaves your mind battered - which would affect every aspect of your life - job, relationships with friends, family, spouse, kids......unless you stop the abuse and seek help - and that would only happen if you talk to someone. The longer you take to seek therapy, the more difficult it would be to deal with the wounds.

You may think that once you get out of the house, your suffering will end. That is again NOT TRUE AT ALL. You may leave an abusive home, but the effects of abuse never leave you. I was molested only for 6 months, yet, even after 17 yrs, it's still affecting me. It took me 13 yrs to admit that all that happened...with a deep regret of tolerating it all and not telling my mother. When I was being abused, I saw entering a job as my salvation. Didn't work. I was bullied at my work place, which left me in depression, esp after my father's death.

Dear, you can't treat fever with headache pill. Similarly, you can't cure the pains of abuse, by simply getting out of the abusive home and throwing the perpetrator out of your life. The effects of abuse grows like a toxic tree in your mind. The earlier you uproot it, the better.

Effects of sexual abuse are deep. It can cause -

Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, substance abuse, sexual addiction (which brings it's own host of other problems), self-esteem issues, anger issues, poor body image, problems with intimacy, emotional eating, attention deficit disorder, ocd, health problems like hypertension, high cholesterol, obesity, etc.

It would stand in the way of a healthy, happy living. That's too much pain to carry for someone who was wronged.

And though you are in an abusive home, you are still shielded from the society. You'd only see all this when you enter the society as an adult.

You are not responsible for your mother's condition. You are not responsible for the abuse. You don't have to comply to the abuse. You will not be hurting your mother by speaking the truth. Don't take up pains you don't deserve. Don't think people will not believe you. Don't think that telling the truth will rip apart your family - whatever happens will be for the best for you and your brothers.

Pls talk to a counselor or child protection service. You deserve to lead your life without being made to feel sick in the stomach. You deserve a loving home free from physical and sexual abuse. Please believe that someone out there will definitely believe you or you have to keep talking till you get the help required. Please believe that you CAN break this abuse cycle - you just have to talk.

I request you to read these articles. Some of them are women centric - but please ignore that part. Ultimately, it's about the abused and an abuser - and your situation is no different from a few examples given in these.

Your Online Counselor - Beth McHugh - Sadistic Narcissism: Margo's Story
Your Online Counselor - Beth McHugh - Sadistic Narcissism: Margo's Story
Your Online Counselor - Beth McHugh - Sadistic Narcissism: Margo's Story
Your Online Counselor - Beth McHugh - Sadistic Narcissism: Margo's Story
Your Online Counselor - Beth McHugh - Sadistic Narcissism: Margo's Story
Your Online Counselor - Beth McHugh - Sadistic Narcissism: Margo's Story
Your Online Counselor - Anger and Sexual Abuse
Your Online Counselor - Beth McHugh - Sadistic Narcissism: Margo's Story
Effects of Child Physical Abuse - HealthyPlace
Sexual abuse | Help and advice | NSPCC
Child Abuse & Neglect: Recognizing, Preventing and Reporting Child Abuse

Please also visit -

Chiworld - A Global Portal for Children

Child abuse policy - Youth Policy in the Netherlands

Sorry just lots of text to read and think about, not sure what to say.
I just idk.. i cant just do that. sorry.
I mean sometimes i wish i was braver and would just tell someone or something but then when i would have a chance i chicken out. It just idk just thinking about it and im close to a panickattack. Just sometimes when he is like today and dont even need a reason to hit me and im all sore everywhere and am scared for the evening because i know he will come up to my room again at some point... but then i think about telling someone and that panicks me even more.
My brothers dont really get hit anymore they back each other up and then its like 3 against 1 and my father is a big man but they are getting tall too and they are a little older nearly 16 so. But that means also i get most of the anger outburst.
Like today he was yelling at them but they just left and i was in the kitchen trying to cook and ignore them and he came in the kitchen and just started yelling at me and burned my arm and took his belt off and started hitting me and then he dragged me up to his room and well. So the food burned and when my mom came home she saw the food burning and noone in the kitchen and yelled at me too. So my father who had just jumped in the shower hit me again after he came out and dressed up and they ordered pizza but nothing for me. sigh.
I'm sorry i guess i make no sense i ntelling you this and then saying i cant tell on them but i just cant

[rothfan6]

It makes a lot of sense that you can tell us here but struggle to tell someone face to face. Your anonymous here. We are safe, we can't report your dad. Can you talk to your brothers and ask them to take you with them when they leave?

[AngstyLady]

Yeah, that sounds like classic child abuse. It'd be one thing for a light spanking here and there for misbehaving, but it sounds like what he's doing is beyond strict parenting- he's hiding under the guise of punishment when really he is systematically abusing you- and it's not only physical, it's emotional- as you feel ashamed and feel like it's your fault. It's not you're fault! I hope you eek help for this, child services need to get involved, perhaps you have another more loving family member that can take custody of you?

dont know my family that well. but yeh i guess its more then just discipline but still. idk if i want anything to change. i mean something would be nice but it would change eveyrthing else too

[blueredgrey]

Dear CasColours,

Do you cook for the family?? Why are you cooking when you are the youngest in your family and there are 5 more people in the house who are older than you?

I am so sorry.....not only you were blamed for a mistake that you didn't do, you suffered abuse and were punished for a mistake you didn't do with no dinner? *hugs*

Why are you suffering so much....when in return you are getting nothing out of it?? I'm sorry....not only is your father abusing you, but the remaining family members are turning a blind eye. You are the scapegoat of the family.

I have said this many times and I would say it again - you won't be doing anything wrong or hurting anyone by speaking the truth about how you are getting abused. If people feel hurt....they are responsible for their feelings....you are not. Why are you protecting the "feelings" of your family when your family is not protecting your feelings and abusing you?? And looks like your brothers decided to become bullies themselves - because of your father's abuse.

You are a child put in a position that is beyond you. When adults in the house stop behaving like adults - you have to get some other adults involved. It's only fair. Not only that is fair - it's necessary.

I have a suggestion...If you want, why don't start a new thread, type out things your father is doing to you, and then list the reason why you don't want to tell. You'd really hear out things what we other survivors have gone thru and how we regret not telling.
If you don't want to do that....it's ok. Just thought you need thoughts of other survivors on this.

It would be great if you can maintain a secret blog where you can type out what you are going thru everyday. Not only because it can help you....but also because over a period of time....memory fails you. Brain just suppresses painful memories. It would be good if you have some sort of record you can go back to.

Every day, just try convincing yourself a little that you won't be hurting your family by telling about your abuse and whatever changes that comes by talking...it would be for good. Do a pros and cons list.

And...also question yourself what you are gaining by tolerating the abuse silently? Who is benefiting by your silence? Is that much pain worth suffering so that someone doesn't feel hurt for a short period of time, for which you aren't responsible?

PS - I think you are very brave Cas. You are in a difficult, abusive home and you are surviving that....it takes a lot of guts to do that. What you are is, you are caring person. You care about how your mother will feel and you don't want to hurt your family. I just wish you'd care a little about you too. Their "hurt" would be NOTHING compared to yours.

Don't be worried about life changes. All child protection services' first priority is to keep the family together. They may prescribe therapy for your dad. They may make him take up some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous program to make him stop substance addiction. They may prescribe parenting classes. Don't jump to the conclusion that they'd just rip apart your family. As I said, whatever happens, it would be for the good. You are making the situation big and scary in your head. Reality is a little different. It would be like getting a big rock off your chest.

You just want abuse to stop. That'd only happen if you do something about it and child protection services are the only people who can help you right now. Start by sending an anonymous mail....if you like where it's heading, continue corresponding with them till you feel comfortable giving more details. You can also make a call anonymously from public booth....all callers have their identity protected....your family never have to know that you made the call....in their eyes, it could be one of those "pesky neighbors".

Good luck Cas....I hope one day you are able tell someone who can help you from being abused and your family from abusing you. We get one life and it's not worth to make it a hell. You really, really deserve an abuse free home - like every child in the world.

My brothers aren't bullies to me or at school etc, just i guess they decided to stand up to my father at some point. They have stepped in for me too in the past but that just made things worse so I asked them to stop it. They are just trying to deal with the situation the best they can and if I could just leave and not come back till the next day or something if things get tough maybe i would too.
I don't always cook, maybe 2 or 3 times in the week. If there's anything in the house anyways. I just wish they'd manage the money better, i mean it dont make sense to order pizza if there isn't even money for cheap food at the end of the month.
But I got a secret stash of things like energybars and other stuff that stays well for a long time so i dont starve lol.
My mom didn't know why the food burned she just saw the food burning and knew it was my task to cook that day so i can't blame her for getting mad.
I don't think my father is going to listen to other people though he's a pretty stubborn person and the drinking dont help much either i guess.
If i were to tell about everything including the sexual stuff i don't know if they would let him stay home? idk.. But they would all find out then, not like they wont tell my mom and then my brothers will find out as well and i really dont want them to know.
I know you say i shouldnt think that but i cant help it.
Sometimes i get jealous of my friends though and wish our family was more like theirs.
Though you can never know for sure of course, we look like a normal family to the outside world too, nobody knows why my mom got hit by the car or that my father drinks to much. So you can never know i guess

[Switch]

If they took your dad away they would keep your mom in the house and though likely you and your brothers would have to take on some of her care she seems like she can manage her life on her own so I don't think she'd be a burden. They wouldn't split your family and your mother and brothers wouldn't get in any trouble.

If your mom doesn't know what's going on maybe you should tell her a little bit. Say just that the food burned because your dad was beating on you upstairs, and show her the burn. Moms care deeply about their children and I think something as small as that would help her see what's going on in her family better.

My father offered me food and i guess i should of know better but i was just so hungry so i took it but then he made me chose. no food and no abuse or food but i would have to give him a bj. So i didnt know what to do but i was so hungry, the emergency food i had i ran out of 2 days ago so i just did it :/ The food tasted horrible though and i couldnt even hold it in so it was all for nothing. I feel disgusted with myself. I guess that makes me a prostitute or something. Adn then he beat me up for throwing up all over his pants and for wasting food and idk... It;s just hopeless

[rothfan6]

Your not a prostitute. Your a brave strong kid being abused and used by his father and doing what you have to to survive. I'm sorry he is doing this to you. You deserve to be able to eat when your hungry and not have to hide away food or go hungry.