Controversial Topic: Going to HR About Your Bully Boss

Taking longer than expected to me sounds like maybe need more information? Another interview? Ask your other colleagues?

She did say it could take more than a week.. she hasn't come back to me with any additional questions.

I touched base with HR yesterday and she is still investigating so I have to wait until after the Holiday to potentially hear anything back. That's four days until work resumes on Monday. Somehow, I have to put this. out of my mind and enjoy my time off.

Oh dear...

That certainly is a big bummer @Having Hope...

Here's hoping you are able to find some moments of joy during the holiday weekend...

Thank you dearest @Pflowers.. I will certainly try to!!

HR contacted me late yesterday. She has finished her investigation but is out of the office all week so I cannot meet with her to hear her conclusions until next Monday. I have to wait another whole week and weekend! This is killing me right now. It's been 3 weeks. I need patience, but I need relief much more.

That has got to be so agonizing @Having Hope...

It's wrong of her to keep you hanging in suspense like that...

If she's on vacation, I hope it rains the entire time!

LOL over the rain comment... haha.

Thanks so much @Pflowers! It is certainly agonizing. I am going to have to try to put it out of my mind entirely this week.

LUCKILY my boss is working from home all week so I don't actually have to sit next to her or see her much this week. YAY!

Today is the day I meet with HR... I will be back later with an update! Fingers crossed!!!!

Sending Good Vibes For A Good Outcome, @Having Hope...

Thank you!!! 🤗🙏🙏🙏

I’m fuming and am absolutely STUNNED. HR concluded there is no bullying occurring. Omg!!!

That is horrible @Having Hope...

I'm so sorry this didn't work out more favorably.

It's sad that bullies get away with so much...

Thanks so much, darling. I am in SHOCK.

HR did consult with our legal department. I think they said it's not happening for legal reasons.

Legal Reasons?!

Whatever could they mean by that?!

I know you said you've been there a while and don't want to leave, but...

It might not hurt to dust off and update the resume for just in case.

I hope things don't get too uncomfortable while you ponder your next steps...

She didn't say that to me, it's what I am gathering based on the fact that HR consulted with our legal department. I am assuming that legal advised HR to not call it bullying to protect the company somehow. Even though bullying is not illegal in my state, it is presented as a bill that hasn't yet turned into law.

I will be looking for another job ASAP.

I am disheartened, to say the least.

I'm so sorry, @Having Hope...

Thanks friend.... I am deeply disheartened and discouraged... it hurts. Like I feel betrayed by HR. They defended my boss's stance even, saying she's only been supportive of me and my function within the company. I am in disbelief.

I wrote HR the following response. My boss's name is Lisa. Chuck is Laurie's (HR) boss. I couldn't help it. I had to say this:

Hi Laurie,

Thank you for taking the time to investigate my concerns and for our conversation today. I appreciate the effort put into reviewing the documentation and interviewing those involved.

Respectfully speaking, I strongly disagree with the conclusion that my experiences do not meet the definition of workplace bullying. From my perspective, these interactions were reviewed from Lisa’s perspective, and not mine, and I feel there is a large gap between what you’re finding to be supportive and what I define as being bullying behavior, manifesting in different types of microaggressions, both subtle and obvious.

I am greatly disappointed in the outcome and do not feel this was fairly assessed.

I am adding Chuck for visibility.

Best regards,
MY NAME

Great job, and you are very good at getting your point across yet not burn a bridge!

Take your time, and start looking for a new job.
If your not being heard, or ignored, better off walking away. Its their loss.
For now just hang in there and try to not let them get under your skin.(easier said than done)
I was rooting for you, and still am.

Thank you!!

I agree! So you don't think I burned a bridge with that letter to HR?

It doesn't matter if I did burn a bridge with HR... it's been a few days, and no reply back from HR. I am OK! I am still standing, still smiling, despite all, and I will carry on.

I guess my point was you didnt. Thats good thing. As if you go looking for another job, your HR will probably get a call from your next employer.
But you got the point clear and concise, and not rude or overbearing.
Great job!

Just popped by to see how you're doing, @Having Hope...



I hope the weekend is being kind to you...

I’m really sorry this didn’t work out for you but not surprised. I’m cynical about the role of HR in organisations. This is why 10 years ago I didn’t report bullying I received from my manager, instead I left. At the time a few people told me I should have put in a complaint and maybe I wondered a little if I was being defeatist. I wouldn’t tell anyone what to do in that situation and you did the right thing by you. But yes, I’m not surprised by the outcome.