[chalmette70043]

But i'm still not convinced i'm an alcoholic.

My new T says in order for her to help me I need to go to AA meetings or rehab. I chose AA meetings.

The first one i'll be going to is this friday. But im scared. I don't know what to expect. I really don't think I need to go.

[madisgram]

good for u, chalmette. no need to be frightened tho i understand. you can go and just listen. maybe you'll hear something that pehaps rings a bell about your drinking habits. one doesn't have to be an alcoholic but have a drinking problem they are concerned about. nothing gained, nothing lost. let us hear how it goes. we care.

[AAAAA]

(((((((((((CHALM))))))))))))) Good to see you!!!!!!!!! Glad you're getting some help and hope that this path will lead you to where you need to be!

[splitimage]

((((chalmette)))))

The only person who can decide if you're an alcoholic or not, is you. I know it's scary going to a first meeting, but generally I've found people at AA to be pretty friendly. LOL for the first little while I was going to AA, I couldn't understand why all these people were being so nice to me and why they kept wanting to give me their phone numbers.

I don't know if you're going to an open or a closed meeting.

An open meeting, might be a better choice to start out with, if you have that option. I know that there aren't a lot of meetings down where you are. AT an open meeting here, there's generally a speaker who tells his / her story. There'll be a bunch of readings at the beginning, the 12 steps and the 12 traditions, and probably one or two other things depending on the groups. You don't have to participate if you don't want to.

A closed meeting is different (only alcoholics can attend) They tend to be more discussion format. But don't feel pressured to talk. You can say you'll just pass, or that you just feel like listenning tonight, unless of course you have something you want to say.

They'll probably have a literature table with pamphelts about AA and acoholism, have a look though them.

One thing I would recommend, if you can, is get a copy of the book Alcoholics Annonymous, which is often called the Big Book, by people in the program. You may find it kind of hard to read at first. It was written by men back in the 30's so some of the language is a bit dated, but it's still a really good book. Up here in Canada they're around $10, so they''re pretty cheap.

Good luck with it, and let us know how it goes.

splitimage

[chalmette70043]

When i called about the times, i asked if there are alot of people there. She told me its usually only about 5 people. So i figure thats a closed meeting. I wish there was a meeting with more people.

I'll look at the pamphlets and stuff they have. But i can't afford the $10 for a book right now.

I'll let ya'll know how it goes. Thank ya'll for your guidance and support.

I'll be back.

Chalmette

[madisgram]

try this site to locate more mtgs chalmette. it will list the times and locations near u. hope this helps you. http://alcoholicsanonymous.9f.com/meetings.htm

[chalmette70043]

I didnt make it to the meeting last friday. But i'm going this friday.

I saw my T today and she is so damn adamant that i go to rehab. I don't see what rehab will do for me. I think if anything, AA will do. She scares me with this.

I finally have a job offer. I go for testing tomorrow. I'm stressing, but i'm not drinking.

I'm writing nonsense. I feel so confused right now.

[madisgram]

keeping you in my thoughts, chalmette. give the AA meeting a go. another helpful tool to see if you are a problem drinker is to not drink for 30 days. if you can't stick to that you may be running from things that spark your alcohol use, thus a problem. like split image suggested buying the AA big book is a good idea. it's easy reading and you may find you can identify something in there that sounds like you.
try to keep an open mind. it will help you decide. only you can say you are an alcoholic tho. this article may help you http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/sym...of-alcoholism/ too. hope this helps.

[chalmette70043]

Madisgram. That article makes me sound like an alcoholic. I have a high tolerance for alcohol. I either stick with what i usually drink or i get tired of it and drink more to get a buzz.

But, i've quit drinking. It's been monday before last that i had my last drink. And i'm not having trouble with not drinking. Every once in a while i think about it, but it fades fast. If i was an alcoholic i wouldn't be able to just quit.

Alcoholism sneaks up on you. You think like I think, I can take it or leave it but one day you will wake up and your life is in the toilet and guess what? You're an alcoholic. I've been through rehab as an outpatient and relapsed. I also have "slipped" during my sobriety as I went (and go) to AA meetings. But I keep coming back, a little stronger, a little more determined to end the madness. Obviously, something is working. And maybe I'm not as much of a drunken mess as the others. But guess what, I cannot afford to treat that as a pass to have another drink. Trust me, it doesn't end prettily. I've just gotten out of a bloody mess caused by my self-medicating, a mess that if I was asked about today, could never have predicted in my wildest dreams. And it's not over yet, I still have a long way to go, but it's one day at a time for sure, for alcoholics and for all of us really. Stay strong in your sobriety but don't take it for granted. And like the others have said, if you think you might be an alcoholic, you probably are. I wish you another sober 24.

[chalmette70043]

Hi gulas. Thank you. I hope everything going on works out for you. I hope it all gets better for you soon.

I've taken a few alcoholism tests online and they all telling me i'm an alcoholic. My family tells me that. My T tells me that.

Why can't i face that and agree with them?

Seems like I'm full of it (advice that is) but here's what I would do. Whether or not you're an alcoholic doesn't really matter. What matters is getting out of whatever rut you're in. Why not just look at it as an experiment? Go without booze for a while, see how you feel. After a few meetings, and hearing people talk about similar experiences, it was clear we had more in common than not. The only major difference was that my alcoholism was the result of unmanaged bi-polarism rather than something like hereditary alcoholism or dealing with a childhood trauma. But how you get there doesn't matter, there's no litmus test you have to pass, just the desire to stop drinking.

So I've been going to AA like once a week. I found a chapter near my house and go on Friday nights with a friend. If you have a few in your area, go to all of them and choose one you're most comfortable with. You might want to get to a few extra meetings to begin with. Hell, the stories you hear there may keep you coming back. They also may "trigger" you to drink so watch out for that. When you are slave to the bottle, anything can be a "trigger", a pretext to drink. Do whatever you have to do to resist those cravings. Honestly, those cravings are what convinced me that I'm addicted; they may not be there all the time but when they show up, it's sometimes all I can do to resist them. I try to keep very busy so that those thoughts have no receptive "surface" to grab onto. Inactivity is the enemy for me. Lately, I've had good success blocking them with mind techniques but when they're too powerful, it's time to get to a meeting. The most important thing for me is going even when I don't feel like it. Force yourself, it's worth it.

Hope all this helps. PM me anytime. I wish you a healthy 24.

[chalmette70043]

Hi gulas. I haven't had a beer since last sunday. But i have the urge to drink now. And its only 1.15 pm. I'm fighting it. But i'm scared i'll drink this sunday also. The Saints are playing again and i'd always drink for thier games. Besides drinking every day. That's what happened to me last sunday. Before that i hadn't had a drink for 4 days.

I'm bi polar too. I don't know if that has anything to do with it. But i've had some traumas in my life that i know i drink to get them out of my mind.

I've been drinking for 25 years, since i was 15. It started out going down to bourbon street and the clubs to drink. Now i drink alone and at a set time during the day.

Today is friday again. And i'm going to try and make it to the AA meeting down here. We only have one with just a few people there. I tried it about 4 years ago and was only 1 of 4 people there. With them talking about liquor so much i couldnt resist and went out and bought me a case. And damn near drank the whole thing. I never went back. I just continued drinking. In 2009 i quit drinking for almost a year except for special occasions. But came back to it every day. Now i'm in a rut and don't want to quit for good. I'll stop drinking evryday, but i want to drink for special occasions. I wonder if that can be done.

I wish i was as strong as you all are here. But i'm being pulled back and forth.

[AAAAA]

(((Chalm))) While I personally don't think it would be a great idea to tempt fate (it hasn't worked so far) My husband has a different situation. He says "I can drink one beer and I am fine. I can even drink two beers and still be fine. If I pick up a third beer, I will not stop." He does not drink at all. He finds it easier to avoid alcohol completely than to risk temptation.

I sincerely hope that you find the help and information you need to make the best decision for you!

[chalmette70043]

I sound like your husband. But i will limit myself to 6-8 beers a day. I have to stop an hour before i take my meds or i get sick. Temptation is a weak spot for me. If i go to a neighbors house and they offer me a beer, i'll take it. The temptation is so strong.

I guess i am an alcoholic. But i feel like i can handle it without rehab or AA. I've gone almost two weeks without drinking except for that one day. I know if i put my heart into it i could stop forever.

I guess i do need help. But i'd rather find it here. I don't know what to expect in rehab and it scares the **** out of me. And AA is just so intimate here with only 4 other people sitting around the table. I've been told thats the best meeting to go to, with just a few people there. But i'd feel safer going with more people.

I will probably lie to my T and tell her i went to an AA meeeting. But i know she'll catch on soon. So i'm gonna end up having to go. She mentioned checking up on me that i am going. I don't know how she can do that, but i bet sh'ed find a way.

I'll look to you guys here at pc for help and support right now. See if i can do it this way.

When bi-polarity is left untreated or improperly managed-either with meds or with meditation or diet or exercise, or some combination of all of them-the bi-polar person self-medicates. For me, the bi-polarity of my late 30s really intensified and therefore so did my self-medicating. Tried half a dozen meds but none worked as well as alcohol. So I thought. But in actuality, alcohol actually makes it many times worse, the body chemistry gets altered and your life can really get away from you. I am still recovering from an episode in March of 2010 that saw me do some stuff that I never would have dreamed myself capable of. Like I said, it gets away from you.

You need to stay away from Bourbon St. I drank there too, while staying down on Carondelet, trying to get a ship out of the union hall there. Also, find a bigger meeting. Should be easy to get online and locate half a dozen in your area. I'm going to one tonight myself. It's usually 20-30 people, so if you don't feel like talking, there's no pressure. I encourage you to listen but also to talk talk talk at these meetings, even if it just to say a few words about whatever is in your mind at that moment. I never sense that anyone is judging me at meetings. They may go home and ridicule me up and down but at the meeting, everyone is cool. I encourage you to go especially on those days when you don't feel like going. When that happens to me, I'm always pleasantly surprised by how good I feel after the meeting. Around here there are noontime meetings which I go to when I'm in town. Be flexible, if you find yourself in a different section of town one day, look for a local meeting. I always take something away from the meeting, even if it is just a piece of good cake and a cup of coffee.

Your mid-day cravings are identical to mine. Of course I still get them and I also sometimes get them at a meeting. I have gone directly from a meeting to the bar; however, I honestly believe I will not do that again. The thing to do is tell the group, say to them, dammit, I came here to get sober but all this talk makes me want to drink. Be honest, you can't go wrong. Get some phone #s, make calls to people you like when it's 1:15 in the afternoon and you are dying to have a beer. If you're going to watch the Saints, do it away from the sports bar. Buy yourself a six pack of Mountain Dew. Don't try and convince yourself that you can go to the bar and not drink. I've tried it, it doesn't work. Be patient with yourself and you can turn your life around. I'm pulling for you. Have a sober night and drop us a line anytime to let us know how you're doing.

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by chalmette70043

But i will limit myself to 6-8 beers a day. I have to stop an hour before i take my meds or i get sick. Temptation is a weak spot for me. If i go to a neighbors house and they offer me a beer, i'll take it. The temptation is so strong.

I guess i am an alcoholic. But i feel like i can handle it without rehab or AA. I've gone almost two weeks without drinking except for that one day. did you feel the urge to drink and just white knockled it the other 13 days? i did a lot of what they call "controlled" drinking. in my case i wasn't controlling it, it was controlling me.
I guess i do need help. But i'd rather find it here.
chalmette, tho we can encourage you here, the only way to recover from alcohol abuse/alcoholism is to abstain. admitting we have a problem is the first step. accepting we need to fix it is the next. i can't say u're an alcoholic. only you can. but if you drink to gain a feeling or get rid of a feeling they tell us we have a prob.
I don't know what to expect in rehab and it scares the **** out of me. rehab has multiple purposes. education about alcoholism and learning how to live without a drink are two. have you considered asking your T more about rehab? it may seem less scary to you if u discuss this. And AA is just so intimate here with only 4 other people sitting around the table. I've been told thats the best meeting to go to, with just a few people there. But i'd feel safer going with more people.
i had given you a link when u first posted this thread re all mtgs. in your area. most AA mtgs. are considerably larger than the one u mentioned. i'm sure u can locate quite a few others in your area. all mtgs. are good btw. just go and listen. see if you can identify with others there.

I will probably lie to my T and tell her i went to an AA meeeting. But i know she'll catch on soon. So i'm gonna end up having to go. She mentioned checking up on me that i am going. I don't know how she can do that, but i bet sh'ed find a way.

I'll look to you guys here at pc for help and support right now. See if i can do it this way.

i know that deciding we have a problem is scary. before i stopped drinking alcohol had become my "best friend" so to speak. i drank when i was happy, drank when i was sad, dog died, dog lived, rained, didn't rain, etc. for those of us who have experienced having a drinking problem, "one is too many and a thousand are not enough."
here's a helpful quiz for you/it's short... http://alcoholism.about.com/od/problem/a/blquiz1.htm
i wish you well.

[chalmette70043]

Hi gulas. Where i live was devastated by Katrina. And the only meeting down here is the one at Gethsamane Church. I'd go into New Orleans, but my truck won't make it. So this is my only choice right now.

I don't go to Bourbon anymore. I haven't since two Mardi Gras's ago. I do go to the french quarter sometimes, but its mostly down by the Flea Market. I eat at Paran's and usually get just one beer with my sandwich. But i don't have to do that anymore either. I'll just order a sprite or something.

when i get up the nerve I'll go to the meeting. I'm just really stressed about going to one now. I probably would get me a six pack on the way home. I want to be stronger to go.

[chalmette70043]

Hi Madisgram.

I did have the urge and still do. But its getting less. Except for Sundays. I'm already thinking about going to the corner and getting some beer. But i'm gonna fight it and try to just stick with my water.

Yeah, i drink to get a good feeling. And i drink to get rid of bad feelings.

I asked my T a few things about rehab and it scares me more. I don't want to be locked up for 30 days. It's in the middle of Louisiana and I don't want to be that far from home.

I called Family Services and the mental health clinic and neither one offers meetings. I called the community center and they just never answer the phone. I even drove over there one evening and it was closed. I already knew about the one at the church, being i went there 4 years ago. So thats where i'd have to go. There are lots of meetings in New Orleans. But my truck won't make it and i don't have a ride.

I did the quiz and got 15 out of 20. Kinda proves something to myself.

[AAAAA]

Originally Posted by chalmette70043

I sound like your husband. But i will limit myself to 6-8 beers a day. I have to stop an hour before i take my meds or i get sick. Temptation is a weak spot for me. If i go to a neighbors house and they offer me a beer, i'll take it. The temptation is so strong.

I guess i am an alcoholic. But i feel like i can handle it without rehab or AA. I've gone almost two weeks without drinking except for that one day. I know if i put my heart into it i could stop forever.

I guess i do need help. But i'd rather find it here. I don't know what to expect in rehab and it scares the **** out of me. And AA is just so intimate here with only 4 other people sitting around the table. I've been told thats the best meeting to go to, with just a few people there. But i'd feel safer going with more people.

I will probably lie to my T and tell her i went to an AA meeeting. But i know she'll catch on soon. So i'm gonna end up having to go. She mentioned checking up on me that i am going. I don't know how she can do that, but i bet sh'ed find a way.

I'll look to you guys here at pc for help and support right now. See if i can do it this way.

Unless she is following you, she cannot check up on you. Isn't there a support chat for alcoholics on PC?

This is a bit rambling so, apologies...

Like you, I've also lived 40+ years and it's easy to forget the good, hard-won experience that we have. Having bipolar and/or alcoholism does not negate that experience. We've all lived and loved and strived and just happen to have stumbled of late. Give yourself some credit. If there ever was a time to put aside your fears, pride, whatever, now is the time. Get over that first hurdle and the rest is easy. You might talk to your therapist about getting on some meds to curb your alcohol craving. If she is not a doc, get a referral.

I recommend you do your homework first, get online and go to the doc with a few meds in mind (I definitely recommend you try baclofen) That way, he knows you're serious and will be more likely to help you. Personally, i would try an eliminate alcohol from the equation and then deal with your bi-polarism. A lot will depend on what your therapist has in mind. Be open and clear with her/him; there's no point in hiding anything at this stage. Like I mentioned, why not treat all this as an experiment? A little of this, a little of that, maybe with some hard work thrown in you can get your life back. That's what I'm trying to do. We've still got a lot of living to do,right?

Your truck reminds me of that old joke about the Texan and the Oklahoman bragging to each other about the size of their respective ranches. The Texan says, "My spread is so damned wide, it takes me pretty near a day and a half to drive across it." To which the Oklahoman replies, "I had me a truck like that once."

Don't delude yourself. In no way am I strong; I have my moments when I feel capable of supporting others but obviously I'm on this forum for some info, some support, some curiousity, probably a lot like you. I think that's the beauty of this forum. It's basically a virtual AA meeting or NA meeting or what have you. Take what you want from it, leave the rest behind, no one will be offended. You have to look out for number one. Make no mistake, I feel better to be able to help in any small way I can. My last trip to the bar, all I saw was misery; I want to spread the word that we don't have to suffer.

Keep on trucking.

I Googled "AA meetings Chalmette" and found this, though you prob. know about it already:

Saint Bernard Behavioral Health Center
(504) 278-7401
8101 West Judge Perez Drive
Chalmette, LA

Peace to you.

[chalmette70043]

Hi AAAA. I don't know if there's a alcohol support chat here. I've never seen one.

[chalmette70043]

Hi gulas. Thanks for supporting me.

I'm going to see my GP next month. so i'll research the meds online and talk to her about it. Do these meds make you sick if you drink?

The meeting at the health center is at my pdocs office. theres no way i'll go there. I don't want him finding out about my drinking. He's stopped seeing patients because of their drinking. And if he did that to me. I'd have no place else to go for a pdoc. So Gethsamane church will just have to do for me.

I like your 'truck' joke.

Thanks
Chalmette

I found this right at the top of the Addictions page, here at Psych Central:

http://www.addictionrecoveryguide.or...ion/alcoholism

Many meds available and your therapist should be able to at least point you in the right direction. The important thing is to starting taking one of them. Maybe you won't ultimately need inpatient rehab but you won't know until you try to do something about it.

[chalmette70043]

Hi gulas. I read over the meds. And im going to talk to my GP when i see her next month. She knows about my drinking and has been trying for years to get me to stop. But has never given me a med.

thanks
chalmette