[roads]

means you're still alive, perhaps--
good to know you've acknowledged the voids
(and the work to be done)

[Jennifer b]

Does life ever get better sometime I wish it was over already as a kid I was put in foster care were I was sex and mental abused at 12 years old I was gang raped I started using any drugs I could get my hands on started looking for acceptances any form now at 22 years. Old I hate myself I still use drugs and I cut i m on pills from mental health I'm never happy I stay with my husband for my kids and I feel like I'm wasting space

[WCT74]

After trying to go it alone and failing. Last night I spilled it all, my drinking on days off the second my wife walks out the door. How long it's been going on for and how truly unable I am to control it and that I am an alcoholic and it goes beyond what she thought she knew. It's was hard and I hadn't intended to have this discussion, it just happened. It was like I couldn't carry on one more day with this secret. It just came out and I feel better that I can share it with her. I don't know what this means or how it's going to turn out, but I'm not alone anymore.

[roads]

Welcome to PsychCentral, Jennifer b. Yes, with work and support life can get better. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, but with focus and perseverance you can recover.

Work closely with your therapist, be honest about what you're up against, and be sure the meds you're taking are helping--make sure you're getting the best drugs possible for you and at the right dosage. This is a good place to hang out, explore the forums, respond to any post you connect with or start your own threads. Get to know the folks who have made progress in the area of struggles you have yourself.

WCT74, I'm so glad you've opened up to your spouse. Not having to hide the problem is an important step toward dealing with it. If you're seeing a therapist, you might consider arranging for a session with your wife along.

It's a horrific struggle to stop drinking and stay stopped, but if you avoid denial and get as much support as possible, you can do it. It's a matter of baby steps, getting from one hour or activity to the next without a drink. You've got bunches of folks pulling for you here at PsychCentral.

roads

[WCT74]

Last night for the first time in years I didn't get drunk on the night off work. Instead my wife and I continued our conversation from Saturday night. She asked if I felt better since my admission, and I do. It's hard to say sometimes, even harder to make some of the admissions I had to make to myself. I am not someone who can alcohol in the house, ever. It was difficult to say that, but I told her my addictive voice is stronger than me, and I have battled it since highschool. I can become stronger than it in time, but it will always be there, waiting. And I have come to terms with it, it's existence is not to be belittled, I must always respect it's hold over me, that is the only way I can overcome it is to learn to live with it, we are going to coexist in the same mind and body forever, I just have to work on becoming the dominant voice.

[roads]

Stay in the present as much as you can, WCT74. It's a lifetime commitment, but you don't help yourself (in my experience) by thinking of it that way. Little bites, just now, this event, this day, this 15 minutes.

Although I have many years sobriety now, I run for help anytime the thought of slipping into the bottle comes up. I always call my sponsor. Or PM someone here. Making it public that way makes me feel active and responsible--in the fighting stance, with someone knowing what I might be getting up to. I never assume I can talk myself out of it alone--that's too great a risk and often failed for me in the past.

I'm so happy for you and your wife. Keep on taking care.

roads

[WCT74]

It will be a week tomorrow since I had my last drink, in this time I have been getting up early to exercise before work and have been coming home from work and doing it again. I have been talking kudzu pills, I can feel my system clearing out. My wife and I have frequent talks about why we quit and the difference we both feel physically and mentally. Here is to another week of sobriety.

[regretful]

Not drinking anymore...miserable and depressed, but at least I'm not drinking...

[roads]

I'm so sorry, regretful, that you're miserable and depressed. That's where I went when I stopped drinking. The friend who had confronted me told me the misery and depression came because I wasn't numb to the anymore ... and that I needed to find out the causes of the feelings, not try to shove they away & ignore them.

Therapy was a slow start for me, but I did understand that I needed to revisit my past and be honest with how I felt. I had to get over the denial, forgive myself & others for being human, work very hard at not returning to alcohol.

Sobriety is hard work, if it's going to have any degree and peace and joy in it. I was ten yrs sober then got hit with stuff I didn't want to work on more that I wanted to be sober & had to start all over again. I don't think I'll do that again ... the second time was ten times harder!

Take care of you--make you a priority.

roads

[glok]

Breathing is addictive. Too bad life is not.

[regretful]

Hello...checking in today. Still not drinking...bourbon in the house, but I've not even thought about touching it. Have not returned to that awful behavior - it's just too much of a burden to add that to my depression. As a wise older priest told me, that depressant just gets you more depressed. So, I'm struggling with the depression, but I'm not drinking...

[glok]

Yep. the toxic brew I am through with.

[Rainrunner]

Oh, a check in place! Well, I will check in. Depressed but almost 6 years sober.

[glok]

[WCT74]

2 weeks and still sober and feeling good

[Rainrunner]

Originally Posted by WCT74

2 weeks and still sober and feeling good

Keep at it!

For me today - in a funk, but sober!

[thickntired]

Just saw pics from the wedding I was at a month ago. Everyone, including the bride, has their eyes closed or red, drinks sloshing, sloppy & sweaty clothes. Then I stand out like spot the sober guest. It's one of the few weddings I remember. It's one of the few weddings I didn't ruin.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by thickntired

Just saw pics from the wedding I was at a month ago. Everyone, including the bride, has their eyes closed or red, drinks sloshing, sloppy & sweaty clothes. Then I stand out like spot the sober guest. It's one of the few weddings I remember. It's one of the few weddings I didn't ruin.

Wow that's amazing!

I myself had a suicidal scare about a month ago but I didn't take a drink. What's crazy is that I would have rather died than take a drink, literally.

Now I am at 111 days sober!!

[Bill3]

Congratulations PlatinumHeart! Your sobriety is itself platinum!

[Sabrina]

I'm heading towards 4 months sober. It isn't even a big deal anymore (though it should be). It's as if all those years of drinking just slipped into the past. I have no desire now, if ever, to take another drink. When people drink beside me, the smell puts me off. And I realized the other day, that I have not vomited in these last 3½ months whereas when I was drinking, I was getting sick at least twice a day!

[Bill3]

Congratulations Sabrina! Great job!

Went to a 12 step meeting today. I can never focus long enough to put people's words and meanings together. No reason to suck sauce.

[madisgram]

Thought I'd drop by. Roads good to see you carrying on the thread. Still sober, happy, joyous and free. Grateful for my sobriety even after all these years. I value my sobriety over anything in my life. It gave me a life far better than I'd ever had.
Newcomers don't give up. Miracles are already happening in your lives. You being the greatest miracle if you haven't had a drink today.

[notz]

Great to see you Madisgram! Glad you're still making it one day at a time!!

[puzzclar]

Thought I would stop by and offer support. And then ask for it myself. Today has been tough. I used today and it was after starting sobreity.... I guess I slipped. I just need help to get off a website.

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