[regretful]

It's been a struggle, but I have not had any alcohol since November 30, 2013. I think about drinking constantly; went to one AA meeting, but it was probably the wrong one since it was a closed meeting, and I didn't understand the difference. Though I was welcomed, I felt very out of place. Now, I'm just struggling with the lack of what was a reliable coping mechanism of mine for well over 20 years...I'm rather lost right now...

[emgreen]

I'm not sure why you felt that going to a closed meeting was the wrong move. The only requirement for going to a closed meeting is having a desire to stop drinking; it sure sounds like that's what you're aiming for. If you didn't like the meeting you went to, there are certainly others. It sometimes takes a little hunting to find meetings that suit you. I know that going to AA makes it much easier for me to stay sober, but it sounds like you're doing an amazing job yourself. Congrats & keep up the good work.

[roads]

It takes most of us awhile to feel truly comfortable, regretful, in an AA mtg. Please try to shrug off any general reactions and focus on your goal of sobriety. Go to a mtg, and if it's really uncomfortable you don't have to stay to the very end. I don't know how many groups there are in your area, but try as many as you reasonably can.
In my area there are men's groups, newcomers' groups, noon meetings, etc. each has a different flavor.
The important thing is to know that if you want to get/stay sober, any AA mtg is a pretty good place to be. Emgreen summed it up nicely: Congratulations & keep up the good work.
Roads

[regretful]

Thanks Emgreen and roads; I am not quite ready to try another meeting just yet. I know that there are a lot of them around. I'm sure that denial is what I am dealing with, thinking that I can go back to moderate drinking. I didn't think my life was that out of control. I'll keep trying...

[madisgram]

Thank you roadie for continuing this thread. We are blessed to be able to "pay it forward."

[notz]

Hi Madisgram!!!

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by regretful

I'm sure that denial is what I am dealing with, thinking that I can go back to moderate drinking. I didn't think my life was that out of control. I'll keep trying...

I wish you luck in staying stopped. Before you take that first drink try to review what made you think you might have a problem with alcohol, & if you can drink manageably. Your first post stated that you'd never gone 50 days without drinking. I wish you all the best in continuing your efforts to live a healthy life. Be well.

[regretful]

Thanks emgreen. This past weekend was a struggle, but I've managed to steer clear of drinking for now. It's not easy

[emgreen]

I'm sorry your weekend was a struggle, but am glad you got through it sober...That's a big accomplishment. That first drink can sound pretty tempting sometimes when we're not feeling real grounded. I know you're not in a space where you feel like going to AA meetings, but in the interim, please feel free to PM me if your thinking is working against you. Congrats on another day sober.

[regretful]

Still not drinking...still feel like crap...

[emgreen]

I'm glad you're still not drinking. My experience tells me that if I'm feeling like crap & drink I only feel worse. Being drunk is a temporary escape, but it's a depressant. When I sobered up I just wound up feeling more depressed & out of sorts than before. I know it's difficult, but try to stay on the sober path. "Feeling like crap" will pass, but if you take that first drink it will set you back to where you started before. The longer you stay stopped the easier it is to stay sober. Again, PM me if you feel like taking that drink...I'm here to help.

[thickntired]

Hey everyone. I don't know how I got off this thread. Roads - I hope you haven't had a smoke!! My husband and I actually got. Into a big fight tonight over his smoking. And emgreen I hope you're not still isolating. I've been there and it's an hard habit to break. If I don't stick to a schedule I'm in my pj's all day. Everyone else on here you are all in my thoughts. I just wanted to share - and emgreen known this- is I got a 12 step call last night. A good friend in AA rang at 1am drunk out of her mind after picking up a 9 month chip. She has soooo much to lose. Her parents have custody of her kid, she's being monitored by attorneys and Dr's out the wazoo. We just talked the day she relapsed and not a word about cravings. This idea had been in the back of her head for a few weeks - just a night of drinking and no one has to know. So, she was not able to call when it got hard or before picking up the first drink. She didn't have a schedule and had a lot of spare time on her hands. She was going to mtgs and therapy but couldn't get honest and ask for help. Maybe if she had been filling her time with exercise, volunteering until she gets a job and asking for help this could've been avoided

Take Care and please remember we all have to be in guard dealing with addiction.

Tnt. ♥

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[roads]

Great to hear from you TnT, so so sorry about your friend. No, I'm still not smoking but WANT TO !! Drinking s isn't an issue so far, but I keep up with meetings and have done a lot of 12th step work and even sponsor a couple since getting the bum's rush out the library door. Turns out I'm better at sponsoring than I thought I'd be.
Sobriety and my Manx cat are the only good things in my life, but they're worthy a king's random. I'm going to hang around awhile longer.
Roads

[avlady]

I'm sorry you feel like crap, but don't give in to have a drink you are doing soo well. It takes a lot of patience but you will feel better in the long run to go just another day without a drink. One day at a time.

[987catjump]

Hi all. This is my first time posting to this thread. I am struggling with smoking. Even though it is legal it should be banned! After many years of working myself through different addictions, I am faced with the toughest one yet. Who would have thought. Any thoughts or tips would be very appreciated.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by 987catjump

Hi all. This is my first time posting to this thread. I am struggling with smoking. Even though it is legal it should be banned! After many years of working myself through different addictions, I am faced with the toughest one yet. Who would have thought. Any thoughts or tips would be very appreciated.

Welcome. I wish I had a solution for you, but I'm still a smoker. If it helps any, I'm 52 & have been smoking since I was 15. I'm really starting to feel it -- I get out of breath so easily. So, I'm sorry I don't have a solution, but I hope a glimpse of what's down the road might foster your wish to stop smoking.

[arachnophobia.kid]

I haven't been going to meetings at all since that first one but also I have not been drinking at all either. I haven't really been struggling with it for the past couple weeks. I'm getting more involved at two different churches and I might even get an internship at one. I'm also considering an opportunity I have to volunteer at a shelter once a week. I think these things, keeping myself busy, making new friends and helping others, that's what's really keeping my mind off of alcohol.

[987catjump]

Thanks emgreen. It is really nice just having someone to talk to about this. I am 51. I starting smoking at 15, as well (what is it about that age?). I stopped smoking when I had my kids. I started again in my late 30's, early 40's. I can feel it now too. I get out of breath over easy stuff But one of my strongest motivators has been the burning taste in my mouth. I hope I haven't done permanent damage--scary. Even though I am scared about things the urge to smoke is stronger than ever!

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by arachnophobia.kid

I haven't been going to meetings at all since that first one but also I have not been drinking at all either.

That's great to hear, arachnophobia. If you ever get the urge to drink, feel free to PM me before you take that first drink, though. I think volunteering & going to church are both good things to keep yourself occupied. Way to go!

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by 987catjump

Even though I am scared about things the urge to smoke is stronger than ever!

At 52, I've kind of let myself go...Overweight & smoking. I know it's slow motion suicide & I've got to do something about it before it's too late. My GF also smokes, so that makes it harder to stop, but if we stop together we'll have a good support system...If we don't kill each other first.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by Iwilltry2help

Jess, I just got off luvox I was taking it for over a year for myOCD and it worked great it took about a few days for it to kick in and then about 8 weeks later it realy helped me.
Val

Hi Roads! What might help you with smoking urges is on Facebook I liked the CDC Tobacco Free page. They have great posts and look at all of their youtube video - scary stuff.
If you're not on FB the website is

http://m.cdc.gov/page?url=http://www.cdc.gov/TOBACCO/

Alot of what made me quit was the horrific video campaign and how young the ppl were!! Smoking Kills period! Please don't pick up

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[thickntired]

Woops! Sorry I quoted the wrong post Duh!!

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[987catjump]

Emgreen, Weight is an issue here too. My BF is also a smoker. He said he wants to quit but even if he doesn't he said he will smoke outside so I don't have to smell/see it. Stressing out together is hard!

[arachnophobia.kid]

Originally Posted by emgreen

That's great to hear, arachnophobia. If you ever get the urge to drink, feel free to PM me before you take that first drink, though. I think volunteering & going to church are both good things to keep yourself occupied. Way to go!

Thanks for the encouragement! I imagine that eventually I will burn out and will want to drink again, I'm glad to have your support if that happens.

[madisgram]

Today...happy, joyful and free! Sobriety is the bomb!